(Closed) On the opposite spectrum of RSVPs… not getting 'enough' Nos?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
19 posts
Newbee

We were hoping for only 375 “yes’s” but had 30 plus ones.

Post # 34
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My mom and I give each other a hi five every time we get a decline, ha! Affording or fitting people isnt really the issue….but the guest list Fiance and I made started out at 150, and when our parents got a hold of it, that expanded to 340ish…uh WHAT?! haha but 95% of the guests are out of state, but some people who we didnt think would actually come are rsvping. My parents are gonna have to walk around with me to introduce me to their second cousins who I met that one time when I was 5.

But about 120 have declined so far, and rsvp’s are at 150ish so if everyone else would just decline that’d be great 😉 unless they were on fi and I’s original list and we atcually care if they come.

Post # 35
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Our guest list stands at 319 right now.  We are hoping for 150 yes’s and I know that sounds insane with it being less that 50%, BUT about 75% of our guests live in NY and NONE have ever come to Oklahoma except my grandparents.  I can’t say I’m too worried about going far over the 150.  Our venue holds 300 so on the off chance pretty much everyone says yes we are still good!!

Post # 36
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We had a list of distant family/family friends that we HAD to invite. No way around it without being rude. As it stood, these were also people we didn’t expect would attend in a million years for various reasons. Half of them have RSVP’s yes!

It’s surprising, and certainly more than we expected to take on budget-wise, but it’s nice that people are taking the time to celebrate our wedding Smile

Post # 37
Member
17 posts
Newbee

We were hoping for more declines, too!

Post # 38
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m right on the line of “I hope we get a lot of declines” and “I hope everyone will be there”. Our venue max for dinner service is 120. Right now our guest list is hovering around 160 – we have a lot of out of state guests (basically all of our friends, all of FI’s family, and my mom’s side of the family), so we realistically could end up below 120 and do dinner service. But I keep thinking a cocktail reception would be way more fun (and less centerpieces = less money!), so I’m kinda hoping that we end up over 120 (the cocktail party max is 200, so we’re good!). The one thing I hope doesn’t happen is that we end up with something like 128 yes RSVPs.

Post # 39
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@Daizy914:  This is exactly my scenario! Inviting 208 but hoping for around 150. A lot of people are my FI’s parent’s friends and I’m hoping a lot of them will say no. We invited them just to please his parents mostly. I do know that about 10 of my guests will already reply with a no but so far I’ve gotten some RSVP’s back that I just KNEW would say no, and well, they say yes! YIKES.

Post # 40
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

the decline rsvps usually come the last week of the rvp deadline because people dont want to say they arent coming til last minute because it might ruin a relationship or be awkward.

Post # 41
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think often times you get a ton of yes RSVPs at first.  Slowly I think you will get more no’s.

Post # 42
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@StL.Ashley:  Our numbers and max capacity are almost the same.   I hadn’t thought to check with my venue to see if they could do a different setup for the reception if we end up going over their dinner max.  For your venue’s cocktail reception setup, would you still be able to do the typical stuff (entrances, first dance, dance floor, etc.)?

I’m wondering if that could be a way for us to just invite who we want to invite and not worry that we’ll exceed capacity if we don’t get enough declines.  hmm I haven’t thought of the downfalls of a cocktail type reception though- are there enough chairs? do ppl get enough food? does it seem nice/formal enough?  I wonder

Post # 43
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
@Shkragoldfish:  We’ll definitely still do the “normal” stuff.

Our plan is to open the bar/doors at 6:30.

We come in for our enterance shortly after (so 6:45), then food will open.

Around 7:15 we’ll do our cake cutting, then first dance, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, then open the dance floor.

There are definitely some downfalls to the cocktail reception – people may or may not be expecting a meal (our reception cards will state that it’s a cocktail reception, and our website will have more information, plus we’ll have a three hour gap between the ceremony and reception where people can grab something more substanial if they like). We will have seating for 72 at traditional tables, and there will be 8 high cocktail tables, a large bar, and a shelf-like bar (hard to describe, but it’s a bar-height shelf attached to the wall) surrounding the room. Plus we have a private balcony with a few tables and chairs. We will be reserving a couple tables for our older guests/family, but the rest will be a free-for-all. There is not enough seating for everyone, but that’s why there’s enough room to invite more people.

I’ve actually been to a cocktail event at our venue – it was definitely fancy feeling, so I’m not worried about that aspect, but it all boils down to decor, timing, what people wear and what type of foods (chicken wings = not formal. mini tarts = formal).

I’m not worried about people not having enough to eat. We’re planning on about 17 pieces per person, and appetizer pieces are pretty big (no small, dainty one bite items). Fiance is a big eater and only ate 11 items at the event we went to at our venue.

 

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