Post # 1
Earlier today, I closed a thread after someone said re: spanking that, “A woman acting like a b*tch deserves it.”
I am a total supporter of BSDM and other consensual activities. If two consenting adults want to share an activity in the privacy of their own homes, I support their right to do that 100%.
But I don’t think that anything can make a woman “deserve” to be hit or spanked. To me, that sounds like the same attitude behind domestic violence. (EDIT: Self defense is a totally separate category, and isn’t what I mean here. I’m referring more to: can someone’s actions or words make them “deserve” to be non-consensually hit or spanked by someone else.)
But someone said I was close-minded, so I thought I’d put it to the group. What do you guys think?
Post # 3
Poll? 🙂 To answer your question, yes the thread got nuts. And yes I think it depends on the context. Clearly there is a line between BDSM and abuse.. I don’t know if that line can be determined on an internet message board.
Post # 5
I definitely don’t think you’re closed minded. That thread got nuts at the end. Spanking in the bedroom is ok, spanking to punish and degrade your wife is not ok.
Post # 5
@mrbee: I TOTALLY agree with you. Thanks for closing that discussion.
Post # 6
You’re not close-minded. I don’t personally get the bedroom spanking thing but to each his own, and deserving to be hit cuz someone’s a b!tch is obviously a different animal.
A lot of people probably “deserve” to be hit and push others to the brink during the course of daily life, but as civilized people we’re supposed to suppress those urges. There are many other acceptable ways of punishing a heinous act. If I slapped everyone I encountered that was being an idiot or a$$hole (and if I wasn’t a tiny 110lb thing that can pose no threat of physical injury) I’d probably have been incarcarated for life.
Post # 7
@mrbee: I totally agree with you! Two consenting adults partaking in spanking as part of foreplay/sex is 100% okay in my book. You are definitely not closed-minded.
But spousal abuse is never okay no matter how you look at it. Some of the comments in that previous thread really worried/scared me as it seemed pretty clearly to be spousal abuse masqurading as Christian spousal realtions, IMO. I’m a Christian and am friends with many others and I can promise you that nothing that was being described in the previous thread would be anywhere near okay in any of our relationships.
Post # 8
That thread was really intriguing, but no. No one person (woman or man) “deserves” to be hit or spanked. In the bedroom as foreplay…ok. As a discipline strategy, no.
This whole thing is weird anyway, because I am fairly sure that many research studies have shown that spanking a child is not an effective behavioral management strategy. So, why would it work on an adult?
Post # 9
I also agree with you Mr. Bee. I thought it was interesting at first with the back and forth, but then she just got completely offensive at the end, and I’m glad you closed that thread. It had gotten way out of hand.
Post # 10
Well you raise an interesting philosophical question. Plenty of people have heard of bad things happening to someone behaving badly and secretly thought well of it I’m sure (“they deserved that”). But does a woman deserve to be hit because someone thinks they’re being snotty, etc? Absolutely not.
Post # 11
No adult “deserves” physical punishment, period. Even criminals get jail terms instead of lashes.
If my partner even wanted to punish me for something (meaning one-sided, regardless if physical or not) that’d be it for me. If I’m acting like a total b*tch, I expect him to tell me about it so I can fix it myself.
Thank you for closing that thread, I found it really disturbing towards the end.
On the other hand, if two partners want to do something consensually in the privacy of their own home, go for it. As long as the intent is pleasure and not pain/punishment.
Post # 12
I think hitting someone can be justified, but the person being hit still doesn’t necessarily deserve it. For example, if two people are arguing and one person makes it physical – let’s say this is really serious and they have a knife and start trying to stab the second person – then the second person is completely justified when they whack the first over the head in the hopes that they’ll drop the knife. It was self defense. The first person still doesn’t deserve to be hit, though. I think that “deserving” means that it’s something they should receive regardless of the timing. However, it would be wrong for the second person to come back a month later, after they’ve recovered from their knife wounds, and hit the first person. Thus, the first person doesn’t deserve to be hit.
Post # 13
lol funny because my first thought was “Oh no not another one Mr. Bee must be exasperated that this won’t die…” Then I saw it was you posting it! 🙂
To answer your question…. I said NO because I think we’re talking about in the context of a relationship and hitting/spanking being used as punishment. That I don’t think is ever okay.
What I don’t really get riled up about is what happens between men. Guys fight and if one guy punches another guy in a bar… meh. It’s not OKAY…. but on the other hand it kind of annoys me that you can get sued for that now’a’days.
Post # 14
Is this about love making? (I don’t know what those terms are) I think I know what thread you are talking about because I avoided it. I don’t like to discuss my love life on this site out of respect for Darling Husband so I didn’t even open it.
So needless to say I didn’t see the discussion and i”m not 100% sure what is being discussed. Here are my thoughts:
-Yes, a child can deserve to be spanked (lightly) if he’s acting up
-No, an adult never deserves to be hit by another adult
-If two lovemaking adults like to be spanked as a turnon (not hard) then one can say to the other “you deserved that!”
That’s all I can think of to add.
Post # 15
Yes you are right – I should’ve clarified that I’m referring to someone deserving to get hit/spanked because of their actions/speech.
Self defense is totally separate. If you come at me with a knife (man or woman), I am totally justified in defending myself.