Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2015 - Ballroom
I’ve been fretting over this issue for the past few months. We are having our wedding in a ballroom, in the evening, in the winter….all of the “clues” that should tell most people to wear appropriate semi-formal attire. The problem? Most of FI’s friends think getting dressed up means wearing their GOOD tee shirt and clean pair of shorts. I’m going to lose it if I look back at my wedding photos and see these people in NBA jerseys and flip flops! I want to put “formal attire” on the wedding invitation, but I know that other Bees have recommended against it because it is impolite. Has anyone does this, and can you recommend some gentle terms that were successfully carried out by guests without offending the masses?
Post # 2
you can do it but unfortunately it won’t guarantee that guests are going to follow it.
I’ve been to two weddings that just simply stated “black tie formal” on the invitation. I don’t think you need to get all crazy with the wording, just write what you’d like.
Post # 3
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
I used to think this was rude….until I went to my sisters wedding. She had people show up in flip flops, a jean vest and various other fashion no no’s that shouldn’t exist in the world, let alone a wedding. As PP mentioned you can do it but it doesn’t mean people will follow your advice. After seeing what I’ve seen though, I wouldn’t even hesitate.
Post # 4
I plan to do it. Recently people have been wearing white cocktail dresses and club attire to weddings. I just don’t get it. I hope writing cocktail attire will help but i’m not sure.
Post # 5
Not only is it perfectly acceptable to include a dress code. it is helpful for your guests. If they choose to dress outside the dress code, at least they cannot blame the hosts for a lack of direction.
Post # 6
If someone thinks that flip flops, a jersey, and shorts are appropriate attire to wear to a wedding then nothing you put on the invitation is going to make them change. Unless you are having a black tie or white tie wedding, a dress code is never appropriate on an invitation. If your venue has a dress code (will not allow guests in if they are wearin XYZ) then you can put that information on your website.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2015 - Rustic barn/ pavilion
Will writing “Formal reception” on the invitations give them a hint??
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2016 - Rockfield Manor - Bel Air, MD
If putting dress code on the invitation is rude, then I don’t want to be polite!
Jokes. But truly, I don’t see why it’s considered rude to give people a little guidance of what is appropriate to wear to your wedding. I personally love when people do this, because then I don’t have to fret over whether or not my outfit will be appropriate or out of place! We will definitely be putting something about semi-formal dress on our wedding site and on our insert for our invitations.
Post # 9
Personally, I like when people put some kind of dress code on the invitations. It makes my life a ton easier because I don’t have to second guess what I’m wearing.
That being said, I agree that if someone thinks wearing a jersey to a wedding is appropriate I don’t think anything is going to change their mind.
Post # 10
I’ve only ever seen “Black tie optional” on a weddign indicating that it was a *super* fancy event. Otherwise, I would think that one would assume that weddings are formal events and that wouldn’t need to be specified. But if you feel “Formal attire” is necessary, I’d put it on there!
Post # 11
Its not rude at all. I’d prefer for someone to do that. I’ve gone to weddings where women were dressed like they were going to the club and men were wearing NASCAR tshirts! You would think people would at least dress semi formal for a wedding. But sometimes folks need a little direction.
Post # 12
I did it. My FI’s friends were saying they were going to change into jeans right after the actual ceremony so I put semi-formal – no jeans! I have noticed people seem to be wearing Jeans to weddings a LOT so I wanted to stress that!
Post # 13
I think its a case of know your audience. If theres a possibility your guests might come in jeans then you can definitely put a dress code on the invite. If your guests usually dress up for weddings then theres no need. I wouldnt consider it rude anyway, just a tip or reminder or even a confirmation of what to wear.
Post # 14
I think having a dress code such as “you must wear red shoes” is rude, but I think letting guests know a guideline in terms of formality is helpful. I’m not putting it on my invitation itself, but I do have an FAQ section on our wedding site (which is where guests are RSVPing and getting all other wedding info). But our wedding is rather casual so I don’t really care what guests wear. At the end of the day, though, you can’t really control what people do.it.
Post # 15
Yes, there are some people who find it rude to put a dress code on invitations unless it is black tie level formality or unless the venue has a specific dress code. No way to get around that. But, I think that is probably the minority of people. So you balance that risk against the hope that putting Formal Attire on the invite will prompt some people to dress more formally that would have otherwise worn more casual clothing. That being said, no matter what you put on the invitation, you are still likely to have people show up in things that you don’t like. You should come to terms with that now. Be a gracious host and don’t make a big deal about it if someone comes in more casual attire. It’s really not the end of the world.
I think I’m confused. You’re hoping that writing “cocktail attire” on an invitation will encourage people not
to wear cocktail dresses?