(Closed) Once and for all: Is it OK to put a Dress Code on the Wedding Invitation??

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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JenGirl:  Good Point! Thats not really what im going for either! lol. This is so hard! What would you call a dress code that fits the dresses below? Maybe I should start backwards. Thanks for your help! 

      

 

When i say club dresses this is what i mea

   

Post # 47
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It is definitely harder to tell people to step it up than to dress it down. At my casual, outdoor wedding, the back of the invites said something like “Ladies! Per terrain, stick to flats or wedges. Gents! Skip the tie!” Maybe come up with something fun like that? If your audience is a bunch of t-shirt people, they might appreciate a fun – even cheeky – hint instead of WEAR A JACKET, [email protected]#$ !! 

Or, if you want it to stay formal, like your expected attire, use the real words, and make sure word spreads. Check out this knot post: https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-guest-attire-cheat-sheet  

Post # 48
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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beautyofdreams:  If that’s what you’re thinking, I’d put nothing on your invites and “summer dresses” on the website along with the warning about grass/heels. But realize that while you can suggest attire through the website and formality of invitations/venue/time of day, you can’t ultimately tell your guests what to wear and it’s inevitable some will show up in things you don’t like. Don’t let it bug you and just be a gracious host. It’ll work out fine and most people know how to dress.

Post # 49
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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peas_and_carrots:  I agree. Formal attire means floor length gowns. I’ve seen it on invites before and knew the venue and the couple… I luckily guessed they meant cocktail.  I assumed it was cocktail until i reread the invite the day of and had a minor moment not having any gowns to wear.

So if you put dress code please just make it very clear what is requested 

Post # 50
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

Once and for all, it’s different for everyone.  Some people will be offended, some will be thankful, others will completely overlook it.

Do what you want.  I personally feel odd telling people what to wear, but to each their own.

Post # 51
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Private lodge

we are opting to put a dress code on the invite for the reception  * casual attire. 

The wedding is an intimate (family only) formal affair in our backyard.  The reception is at a lodge in the wood by the lake.  I specifically don’t want people wearing heels or their best suit into the woods by a campfire. 

Bring on the flip flops 🙂

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  Free2bme.
Post # 52
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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EMDEsq:  I put it on the “Details” enclosure we had. Sorry, but I don’t want anyone showing up in Jeans….Bleh

Post # 53
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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beautyofdreams:  those dresses are garden party dresses.  But i have no idea on the offical term for them… semi formal? 

Post # 54
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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EMDEsq:  I’ve received many invitations that said, “Formal Attire” and I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t think it came across as rude at all and I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about.

I literally have a couple friends that their “nice church clothes” are basketball jerseys and shorts. WHAT?!

I’d put it. Who cares what people think. BUT it might not mean that they will listen but at least you can hope they will

Post # 55
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Treat your guests as adults and don’t tell them how to dress. Unless its black tie. Black tie optional isn’t a thing. Dress codes on an invitation are rude imo. I didn’t have a dress code on my invites and most people dressed appropriately. Nobody wore jeans or jerseys. Most of the women wore dresses/skirts. Some of the men wore suits, some wore khakis. One of my husband’s cousins wore his good black jeans which was the only stand out. Didn’t even notice.

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  LarLa.
Post # 56
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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EMDEsq:  I’ve never heard of including a dress code to be rude. I think most people would find it helpful haha! The problem as most PPs said, however, is that STILL doesn’t guarantee that people will abide by the rules. It will help some of them….but some guests are just really thick. The best thing you can do (in addition to putting it on the invitations and your wedding website) is to find someone in FI’s family who understands and respects your request and has some standing with family members (mother of the groom perhaps) to talk individually to family members and let them know.

Post # 57
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I was once again reassured I should mention a dress code in our online RSVP page, because I had this picture pop up in my IG feed fro one of the weddings in my hometown

 

I went searching for other photos, and nope, people wore cocktail dresses and slacks at least. I hope none of our guests will show up in jeans or cargo pants. However, I did have a friend arguing that nice jeans are OK. Well… if a person knows how to dress up jeans and make it more acceptable, like that’s one thing. But I’m sure a majority of people will fall into or category.

Post # 58
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Beautiful place.

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EMDEsq:  I did it and I never looked back.. My wedding is in few weeks.. I hope people will dressed accordingly.

Post # 59
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

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EMDEsq:  I had “formal attire” added to our invitations. our wedding party will be in tuxedo suits and we are having our wedding in this gorgeous ballroom as well. Ill be dammed if anyone comes in jeans or sneakers!!!! Or ladies in sandals and an dresses, more suitable  for an outdoor BBQ! It is a late evening wedding and the bride has spoken lol formal is required. Not sorry, and if anyone has an issue they are being lazy.  I feel it is disrespectful not to come appropriately dressed to a wedding. slacks and a dress shirt will do. Not asking for much. Just come nice. Jeez lol 

Post # 60
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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Eliza_Bee:  I know thats what makes it so hard. ive seen people say sundays best but im not sure thats it either. that makes me think of easter sunday suits. lol. then i thought about doing like a kentucky derby theme which would be great for the summer but i don’t want big huge hats in the way. lol. 

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