Post # 1
I’ve been toying with the idea of having NO wedding party at all for a variety of reasons (cost, who to pick, issues with siblings, etc.) However, my fiance has a good friend that he’d really like to have up there with him. He also has concerns about things like “Who would hold your flowers? Who would give us the rings?” I was then thinking about having a good friend sit in the front row for each of us who would simply stand and perform that task (hold the bouquet, hand over the rings) at the approprite time, and then sit back down. My fiance, however, is pretty stuck on having someone stand up with there with us the entire time.. so I’m thinking of compromising and having just one attendant each. My questions for those that have done this or are planning to:
Did you call the person a maid of honor/best man? or just an attendant? witness?
Did the people wear typical bridesmaid/groomsman stuff? What did they wear?
Did they walk down the aisle before you like a normal processional? How did they get to the front?
What kind of flowers did they have?
Anyone do what I mentioned above and simply have someone stand to perform ceremony tasks? Was it problematic in any way, and again, did people wear or do anything else in particular to recognize them as having a role in the wedding?
I’m just really not sure how this would work, and I’d prefer not to have the whole traditional pomp and circumstance of a normal bridal party if there’s just one person each. Any help you could give would be MUCH appreciated!
Post # 3
Well we’re having one person each. We also didn’t want to do the whole wedding party thing. Something about it just didn’t seem natural to us (not that it isn’t right for other people). But we did want someone to keep each of us company and keep us calm on the day of, as well as being the “point person” for any last minute disasters, knock on wood.
The person I picked was my best friend growing up. I didn’t pick my sister, which didn’t sit well with some people, but I think my sister knows that while I love her, we aren’t that close. I’m including my sister in the wedding stuff in other ways. I generally call my friend bridesmaid and maid of honor interchangeably. In the program they’ll probably be listed as Maid/Matron of Honor and best man. I told her to wear any dress in the wedding colors (chocolate brown) but she actually wanted to go to a bridal store and check out the bridesmaid dresses (weird, huh?). I guess she thought she would have an easier time finding something there. So we went together and picked a nice dress that didn’t really look like a bridesmaid dress, and that she said she could see herself wearing to other people’s weddings in the future.
At the ceremony, she’ll probably walk in by her self after the mothers are escorted in. The best man will be up front already keeping my Fiance company. We’re making the mothers more a part of the processional, and the same music will be playing for them and her. She’ll have a smaller, simpler version of my bouquet, and probably hold on to my FI’s ring for me.
I’m not doing a bridal shower and while we did talk about doing a bachlorette party, my friends are just too spread out over the country for it to be financially feasible. She was pretty disappointed by that, but we may still do a very small bar night with a handful of local people one day. The schedule isn’t really working out easily for that though…
Overall we’re really glad we chose to do it this way. It’s less people to coordinate in terms of outfits, and fits with our style of keeping things simple and intimate. But we’re also glad to have someone to be with us and help calm our nerves before the ceremony starts. If this is what your Fiance is hoping for, I think you should really take that into consideration. I know I’m going to be a bundle of (positive) emotion on the day of, and I really want someone there by my side. If I had to do it again, I might have picked my sister too anyway, and just had two people on my side and one on his, but I’m still happy with the way things are now.
Hope that helps. Good luck!
Post # 4
My Fiance is having is brother as the bestman and I’m having my brother as the ‘Man of honor’. As of right now, I’m going to had my flowers to my mother who will be in the front row and the two guys will server as the ushers.
Post # 5
We did one attendant each as well. My sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor and my husband’s brother was his best man. As for their duties.. neither of them really did anything 🙂 His brother handed him the rings/gave a speech later in the evening and my sister held my bouquet.
Walking down the aisle: Best man and my husband we’re already stationed at the “altar” (it wasn’t an altar.. just the place we got married). My sister walked down the aisle on her own followed by my father and I.
As for clothing, my sister wore a dress that matched our theme.. while his brother wore a nice suit he already owned. We did not do not do flowers for the men (I don’t always like how they look) and my sister carried a smaller version of my bouquet.
It wasn’t formal, but it was nice. Intimate and easy. 🙂
Post # 6
We had one attendant each. They definitely held the titles Best Man and Maid of Honor. My Maid/Matron of Honor did wear a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress (that I let her pick out) and had a bouquet, like any other bridal party. The Best Man wore a rented tux. They both stood next to us for the whole ceremony, and my Maid/Matron of Honor held my bouquet and they both handed us the rings. It never felt awkward to me at all, and I loved the intimate feel it gave the wedding. We had them walk each other down the aisle, our little flower girls and attendants following them. We had the kids sit for the ceremony, but our attendants remained standing. It worked out really well for us!