Post # 77
@BakeosaurusRex: That’s a good point. If she was uncomfortable and concentrated on holding herself so her dress didn’t fall, the discomfort/exasperation could show in her face in photos.
I’d say go with the straps – it’s still the same dress & same colour & material – it’s not like it’s a completely different dress. I think she’ll definitely still be recognizeable as part of the wedding party.
Post # 78
I would just let her get straps. Or see if all of the other BMs can do straps too, if you’re set on them all looking the same.
I just can’t imagine ever asking someone to wear something that they aren’t totally comfortable in for any reason.
Post # 79
@Sassygrn that photo is amazing, love it, lol!
I have a small chest and event I don’t feel comfortable in a strapless dress. I personally own maybe ONE strapless dress and never wear it. I’ve been in four bridal parties and have always added straps to my dress. I’m not going to lie, each time, I just did it without even asking the bride! In one instance I had to wear A HIDEOUS “apple satin” full length dress complete with pickups, that dress was SUPER heavy, and I couldn’t imagine even holding it up without the straps.
Like many of the pp’s said, no one is going to notice!
Post # 80
Sorry OP, but 36D is still in the size range where strapless bras are effective, so I don’t think you quite understand how uncomfortable strapless would be for someone with more volumous breasts. You didn’t say what size your Bridesmaid or Best Man is, but I can guess that it would be next to impossible for her to find a strapless bra in her size. Which means she’ll have to resort to a size that doesn’t fit her, like a 38DDD. Which means she won’t have good support so her breasts will be much lower than they should be and not well “contained”. She certainly won’t look her best and she’ll be very uncomfortable anytime she has to move. I say let her have the straps.
Post # 81
my sister wanted straps on her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress – she simply can’t go bra-less and they don’t make a good strapless bra in her size/
i think it will look fine in photos!
Post # 82
@mu_t: same thing with me last year. I have a heavy chest and hate my arms. I was Maid/Matron of Honor last year. I told her
I would wear ANYTHING but strapless and she chose strapless and told me to “find a good strapless bra”
Needless to say I felt miserable the whole day and self-conscious. She now says I look unhappy in all her pics.
Post # 83
I totally understand wanting your girls to look the same. Why should she stand out? If she gets a dress that fits properly & gets it altered properly she will be fine in a strapless dress. My sister & I just wore strapless dresses in a wedding. I was concerned about comfort but once I got it altered it was perfect. I’m a dd & my sister is like an 34E. If she really needs the straps she can put them on for the reception after your pictures.
Post # 84
@Ms.Sugarsnap: Sorry youre getting a few snarky responses. How about adding chiffon halter straps? My JR Bridesmaid or Best Man is wearing the dress below – Bari Jay 553 (we are going to make it not a sweetheart neckline). I wasnt thrilled with the idea of an 11 year old wearing strapless.
This is the dress that my Bridesmaid or Best Man are wearing. The only difference between the two are the chiffon halter straps.
Here is my two cents. I understand you want everyone to look the same and you dont want someone to stand out who isnt the Maid/Matron of Honor. Understandable. BUT my Future Sister-In-Law got married this past summer. She put the bridesmaids in pink satin strapless tea length dresses (in hot pink with lime green tulle sticking out the bottom. God awful dresses, yes but thats besides the point lol). Some girls were small & petite but there were two bigger girls who shouldnt have been wearing strapless. They kept pulling & tugging at the dresses the whole ceremony – to the point to where many of us noticed and were talking about it. Honestly, I think we paid more attention to that than the actual ceremony! I know it wasnt the Bridesmaid or Best Man fault – she was uncomfortable and trying not to loose the goodies! The bride wouldnt let them wear straps until the reception. Even then, they were little spaghetti straps that wouldnt even offer me support (Im a 32DD). I think youve got a lot of great suggestions for altertions on this thread but I just dont want everyone at the wedding talking about your Bridesmaid or Best Man (and being a distraction during your vows) because everyone assumes the bride was the one behind it. Hope it all works out 🙂
Post # 85
Did you ask her why she waited so long to ask you about this? That seems like the big issue…and sounds exactly like something I would do, b/c I would be really nervous about rocking the boat about a dress.
You’re obviously a great friend (despite what some may have said) b/c you ARE worried about this and trying to find a solution.
Just wait unitl she gets it altered and make sure she sends you pictures…I am a Dear Daughter, up from a D after having a baby, and I get really down about how clothes fit me, and sometimes just need a little encouragement from somebody to know that I don’t look ridiculous! Let her know she looks great if she looks great…and if it’s apparent that she really does need a strap, you can go from there.
Post # 86
Maybe I overlooked this in a previous post, but why not let your friend be comfortable and have the straps photo shopped out?
Seems like an easy enough fix.
Post # 87
I’m going to be in a big formal wedding next summer, and I am DREADING wearing strapless. But my bride is…. unapproachable about these things.
Please give in – it would make her so happy! She may have been embarrassed or wanted to appease you in the beginning so she stayed quiet, but now that the wedding date gets nearer, she’s starting to panic and is looking to you for help. Maybe she was looking for an appropriate bra all this time and came up with nothing.
Post # 88
@Ms.Sugarsnap: I understand your uniformity issues. I am the same way. How long is your ceremony? Is she sitting or standing? If it is a shorter ceremony (vs. a long mass) I would probably ask her to forgo the straps for the ceremony and then for the formal photos either before or after. After which she can attach them for the reception giving her the added support for dancing and frivolity. It is a bit of a compromise givinging her comfort when she is hanging out and having fun, but also giving you the uniformity for your photos. Good luck!
Post # 89
Closing the thread at the request of the OP.