(Closed) One Christmas tradition that I am completely against

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
687 posts
Busy bee

@Pollywog:  Are you able to share what the other 4 “top fights you don’t think to fight about” were?

Post # 18
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

@ShiftedLobster:  sure, it was catholic v. public schooling for the kids, the extent of fertility treatments you were comfortable with, which family members would you let live with you/support financially, and how much cleaning would your kids have to do.

Post # 19
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can see how it could cause some of the kids to get upset, with the different gifts. When I was growing up, we always went to my grandparents’ house for Christmas and opened gifts there with extended family. Then we’d come back home and open presents, with just the parents/siblings. I think when I become a parent, I’d want to do things that way too, where gifts are opened with just parents/siblings.

Post # 20
Member
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

How about a new tradition? On Christmas (Day, Eve, whatever) everyone goes over to the grandparents’ house and opens the presents that the grandparents bought themselves for the kids and then all the other mom and dad presents stay at home for opening later in front of just the parents and siblings? 

@star_dust:  I love that idea as a compromise.  I wouldn’t want to have to haul all of the presents to the grandparents’ house then haul it all back home later.  

Post # 21
Member
5656 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t like that idea either, but more because traditionally opening gifts was always done with just my parents and 2 siblings and I like it that way.

My DH’s family plays White Elephant on Christmas eve all together instead of something like that.

Post # 22
Member
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That sounds terrible, no offense.

Glad to hear that you and SO are working on a compromise 🙂

Post # 23
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First you have to haul the wrapped gifts to someone else’s house then you have to bring everything back home?  What about the kids that still believe in Santa and get up at 4:00 am to open gifts?  Do they have to wait to go to the grandparents’ house? 

That’s the most non-fun and shittiest tradition I’ve ever heard.  🙁

Post # 24
Member
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cali_cat:  agreed that tradition sucks lol.  Was your Fiance open to your idea of just 1 gift? I think that is an appropriate compromise.

Plus, you are your own family now and can make your own traditions. 

Post # 25
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think opening and giving gifts is a personal matter and not something that should be on display. Otherwise gift-givers as well as receivers could end up feeling judged by their gifts or competetitive, which it looks like that is the case with your SO’s family. The holidays and finding the perfect gifts for people you care about is already stressful enough. This social pressure of this tradition I can only imagine adds to that stress.

Post # 26
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@cali_cat:  ok this isn’t exactly the same but it’s kind of the same. One side of my family likes to do gift opening in turns. Like each kid gets to open up gifts and say who it’s from and every oooh’s and ahhhh’s. I hate it. First of all, we don’t have nearly as much money as everyone else and we don’t buy for every single person. We just can’t. So it’s obvious who we bought for and didn’t buy for. Not to mention our gifts usually aren’t as fancy or pricey as some others. And come on, I mean my son is super shy and it ruins the excitement for him because all he can think about is everyone watching him. So maybe for *slightly*different reasons, but I totally think its a bad tradition.

Not to mention I most definitely want to spend some alone time with just my family at home and open our own gifts. Screw that. I would be totally against doing it any other way.

Post # 27
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t be on board with this. First of all, we don’t really do the whole Santa thing, so that might be awkward. We also tend to give our son lots of books, puzzles, etc. We don’t do anything extravagant. I already dislike the consumerism surrounding Christmas, so I try to keep it simple. I don’t want to have to defend my choices to extended family. Besides, I think it’s really nice to spend Christmas morning just with immediate family. It’s much more relaxed, and then we can have a nice breakfast together & enjoy each others’ company.

I don’t mind doing gift exchanges with cousins on Christmas Eve or later in the day, but I don’t see why everyone has to see what we gave each other.

Post # 28
Hostess
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I was raised by my grandparents and all the family events were at our house. Unlike my cousins who got to open all their gifts at home before coming I had to WAIT until everyone arrived to open any of my gifts. My cousins would come with toys in tow all excited about their goodies…it was brutal!

I definitely think that opening ONE toy with the family is a good compromise. Most of the thrill of Christmas with children is the early morning rush to the tree to open gifts.

Post # 29
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I, too, am totally against this!  I think, in the past, DH’s parents tried to start something like this.  One SIL was living at their house with her child, at the time, and the other SIL came and brought her new baby and everyone slept over on Christmas Eve, then opened presents together Christmas morning.  I have said from the start that I will NOT ever do this. 

My parents separated when I was young, but it was always the firm agreement that I would wake up on Christmas morning in my permanent residence (my mother’s home), with my gifts, siblings, and Christmas tree.  That’s how I want things to be for my kids.  I’m not packing up all of their gifts and uprooting them from their home to open presents with their cousins. 

For one thing, there is the issue you mentioned of some kids not getting the same as others.  Then, there is the thing where one kid will see a toy another got, and will whine and cry to want to play with it.  While I am 100% for making my kids share their toys, I want them to be able to have a good time with the toys by themselves for a little while on Christmas morning. 

Post # 30
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I will also add that the entire family gets together on Christmas Eve and we all open gifts from each other.  So, the cousins do get to open some presents together (presents from Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law, and their aunts and uncles).  But, on Christmas morning, everybody is at their own house.

Post # 31
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@OctBride-2012:  Lol, I agree!  My sister and I used to race to the tree at 4 AM!  There is no way we would have been able to wait until 9 or 10 to go to our grandparents’.  My dad would always come pick me up from my mom’s around 9 AM and we would go to my grandparents’ house (where he lived) and I would open my gifts from him, there.  Then, later, the rest of the family would come and we’d get our gifts from our grandparents and aunts and uncles.

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