- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
I’ve posted about this before (within another thread) but this issue is still weighing on me – and in fact has basically taken over all of my head space lately. I’d appreciate any input or words of wisdom, from IVF vets or anyone else! I’m looking for some magic words that will help steer me in the right direction.
Some relevant BG: I’m in the middle of my first IVF cycle, with embryo transfer scheduled for approximately 10 days from today. Our RE wants to transfer 2 embryos (it’s just what his practice does), but Darling Husband and I are struggling with this. He will do a single embryo transfer on our request. Based on 2013 data from our RE’s practice, transferring 2 embryos gives us 20% chance of twins, 40% chance of a singleton, and 40% chance of no pregnancy. I suspect (but don’t have any actual confirmation) that our chances of twins are higher – although I am old-ish (35), I am healthy (we are doing IVF due to MFI) and we have opted to do PGS on Day 5 and transfer on Day 6, so the embryo(s) we transfer should be of good quality.
Part of me knows that the “right” decision is to insist on a single embryo. Pregnancy rates are lower (like 40%), but this choice maximizes baby’s health, and that is the most important thing, period. If it doesn’t work, a FET the following month should… and if not, there’s always more IVF to be had.
But part of me wants to go forward with two embryos. IVF (and just the TTC journey in general) has not been that much fun, and I just really want to be pregnant, now – not in 2 or 4 months. Eggs, uteruses (uterui?), sperm, hormones, nasty needles, dildo cams, blood tests, blah blah blah – I am so tired of it all! And it’s not like twins are guaranteed – it’s still the least likely outcome, even with 2 embryos transferred. Additionally – if I could guarantee a healthy pregnancy and healthy babies, I’d actually prefer to have twins. I don’t think I’m going to enjoy being pregnant (my favorite hobbies are all forbidden during pregnancy, and being sidelined for 9 instead of 18 months is appealing). And consolidating the newborn portion of my life is also appealing.
Still – I would NEVER forgive myself if we transferred 2 embryos and ended up with twins with health problems. I feel like I am being selfish to even consider it – what’s a few more rounds of IVF and 9 additional months of being sidelined from activities if it guarantees that my baby is healthy? I’m feeling guilty already, just from talking about hypotheticals!
Any insight or words of wisdom? What would you do?