Post # 1
Hi I am wondering how to send out invitations and Save the Dates for my destination wedding. My family doesnt really care about proper etiquette and I dont so much either, so I am just looking for opinions. I was planning on sending out 1 per family, but I keep reading how an invitation should be sent to every adult over 18. We have 15 adult cousins who fall into this category, but I was wondering if I should still just send one invitation per family since they will most likely travel to Florida from NY as a family, and we are not inviting guests with any of these adult cousins? Our invites are also pretty expensive about $6 each and the Save the Dates $3 each, but I dont want to be rude of course by not sending them each their own invitation. 5 of the cousins are my bridesmaids, by the way. I just wasnt sure if it would it look silly or cheap if we sent each their own invitation, and then put 1 seat has been reserved in your honor since were not including guests. We just dont have enough space or budget for them all to bring a guest, no one is in a serious relationship anyways, and they are traveling accross the country with their family anyways! Any opinions for me? Any difference for Save the Dates and actual invitations? I am getting ready to send out my Save the Dates now? Thanks for your help!
Post # 3
If they live with their parents, than I would put them on their parents invitation. If they are adults that have their own place you should send them their own invite.
Post # 4
I did one invite per houshold to save money. = )
Post # 5
We did one invite per household for the cousins. We had no complaints!
Post # 6
Thanks everyone for your imput. I think Ive come up with a compromise, for the Save the Dates, I am going to send one per family except for 2 couins who live in a different city than thier parents, and my sister and bridesmaid cousins who may want to save them for sentimental reasons. The rest I think were just going to send 1 to the parents house. Then when its time to send invites we’ll re-evaluate how we want to do things for that. Hope this will be okay with everyone and not confusing! Thanks again!
Post # 7
I agree. I did the save the dates by person because the cost wasn’t that much. For invitations I’m going by family even if they don’t live in the same house unless they live in another city or live with a significant other who we are inviting. My family is big but close and I don’t forsee many problems.
Post # 8
Proper etiquette would be to send them their own note. You are really not supposed to add the words “and guest” but be in contact with the guest. If they are your bridesmaids, they would probably appreciated the separate invitation, so that it is their keepsake for a scrapbook or photo album of their own.
Post # 9
If they live in the same house I am only sending one invitation. It is saving me like 10 extra invitations! Call me rude 🙂
Post # 10
In my opinion, for your family members who live separately they need a separate invite. I haven’t lived at my parents house for 10 years, and if I were to be thrown on their invitation, I would be offended. I don’t live there!!!
Post # 11
We only had a couple that lived with their parents. For the STD’s I sent the cousins their own because we had so many extras. I had planned on sending them their own invite but we sent theirs with their parents and got no complaints.
I’d say you are okay to send those that live at home 1 but for those that don’t live at home, send them their own.
Post # 12
If they don’t live with their parents, they should get a seperate invitation. My cousin sent one invitation to my parents with their names and family, I hadn’t lived there for about 5 years and was pretty offended and didn’t feel like I was actually invited to their wedding.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t be offended if I was lumped in to my parents invitation. I would, however, feel like a 12 year old.
Post # 14
Invitations should be sent to households, not families. If someone no longer lives with their parents, they should get a seperate invitation. (I considered kids in college as still living with parents). Also, I’d say that even if they are still living at home, members of your wedding party should get their own invitations. They are a special part of your life and you’ve invited them to be a special part of your day – they deserve their own invitation.
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I did a case-by-case type of thing. I gave most adults their own invitation, even if they lived in their parents’ house, unless either their parents insisted I send the invitation to their address when I asked for addresses (in which case, whatever), and when I totally ran out of invitations and two sets of cousins all ended up on one invitation (one set I didn’t think would be offended, and the other were all college-age boys and I figured their parents would be better able to rsvp for them anyway).
Personally, it always made me roll my eyes when I was invited to a family wedding on my parents’ invitation when I haven’t lived with them (or even in the same county) in over ten years, but I’m a stickler, and not everyone is. If I were to get an invitation addressed to my parents now that I’m married, I don’t think I would even bother going (I’d interpret it as them not really caring if I were there or not).