Post # 1
I thought I would give one last update about the situation with my fiance.
So, as I said before he called me to come back home and we discussed it for hours and we both agree that we absolutely want to stay together. We love each other and want to continue on with our engagement. He wanted absolute brutal truth as to if I am fulfilled in our relationship in every way and I said yes. Because it is the truth, I just made a very STUPID lapse in judgement. He appreciates that I was honest with what happened especially when I could have very easily hidden the truth. Thats part of the reason why he has forgiven me. I have most definitely learned my lesson and we both agree this will make us stronger than ever.
Post # 2
I’m glad. This is a really good outcome. You have a forgiving fiance
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI
Forgiveness in a relationship makes it strong. Not easy to do. Good luck to you both.
Post # 5
I’m really glad everything was resolved, and you feel good, but I do think someone should point out that you obviously are NOT 100% fulfilled in your relationship in every way, or this wouldn’t have happened. That’s ok, and doesn’t mean you have to break up. And maybe you didn’t even realize you felt that way, and still might not understand it. But brushing this under the rug as a stupid choice without examining why you made it makes it that much more likely it will happen again.
Post # 6
OP, I’m really glad this seems to be working out for you guys, and I hope it remains good.
However, I do feel you are being a little blase about this.
It wasn’t a lapse in judgement. A lapse in judement is a momentary thing.
This is something you KNEW going in could be dangerous, yet you chose to proceed anyways.
AFTER the connection developed between you guys, you chose to give your number.
Then, you chose to engage in sexting with another person.
This is a series of choices you took over the period of multiple days, which led to betraying your partner.
There is either something lacking in the relationship, or something lacking inside YOU for this to have happened.
A LOT more work needs to be done to figure out which it was/is, and to fix it so that you can be a better partner for your Fi in the future.
In your Fi’s shoes, I don’t think I could have forgiven you, even if I tried and I wanted to, so this is no small thing he’s doing here. And it may take him a LOT of time to actually be able to let go of this. So don’t necessarily expect smooth sailing ahead.
Post # 7
This sounds good, but you should prepare yourself for the possibility that he will have trust issues from time to time. You should do everything in your power (including letting him read your texts) to assuage those concerns.
Post # 8
That’s great he’s giving you another chance, but I think you need to really think about why this happened in the first place. If it happened once it can happen again unless you make some real changes in yourself and your relationship. You really do need to do some soul-searching to figure out what caused you to do this in the first place. The fact that he has forgiven you so easily is not necessarily a good thing if it just gets brushed under the carpet. You guys really do need to get to the bottom of what caused it to prevent it happening again.
Post # 9
It sounds like good news, Bee. As PPs have already stated, be prepared that he may be ultra aware of your actions and be suspicious for a long time. You have broken his trust and you may have to prove yourself over and over and over again before that trust is restored.
Do consider individual counseling to address why you were willing to risk your relationship. Do you have a history of self-sabotage?
Post # 10
“Lapse in judgment.” Uh, guess you can call it that. Lol
Post # 11
Well, at least he knows he’s marrying a cheat so he wont be surprised if it happens again.
Post # 12
I’m cracking up because I thought the exact same thing in those exact words.
Post # 13
I disagree with the previous bees. A person can be fulfilled in their relationship and still make a foolish choice. It can be easy to get carried away when a person feels flattered. That doesn’t mean that she would ever have become physical with the other guy; indeed, it’s a big jump to go from media flirting/sexting (with no photos) to a physical relationship. In the “old days” before texting, I flirted with a guy from work, and he flirted back. But within a week, we both realized what was going on and we simultaneously stopped. Neither of us meant for anything to get out of hand. But at that time, we could walk away with no harm done. Not so with electronic communication.
So, OP, I think you need to remember the lesson this hopefully taught you. THINK before you reply to anyone on a phone or online. People often forget that electronic communication is FOREVER. In the past when people made stupid mistakes and flirted with someone else, they could remember it with a blush and assume the world would never know. But that isn’t true anymore, and people’s impulses haven’t yet adjusted to the fact that nothing electronic is private.
Good luck. I wouldn’t classify you as a bad person. We all make mistakes, and you were lucky enough to catch your mistake before it became unforgivable, IMO.
Post # 14
Your mentality is to warn the OP that she shouldn’t engage in cheating
behavior in the future because there are receipts now and she may get caught.
I’m not suprised you’re defending her actions as just simply “foolish.”
Post # 15
I don’t think you can compare flirting to sexting. Maybe if your flirting included telling one other what you wanted to do to them sexually…
I think it’s easy to get caught up in a flirty conversation with someone, but I feel like you’d have to know what your doing if things get sexual.