(Closed) One month until the wedding….and a bombshell

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

Whoa! That was not the bombshell I was expecting. Definitely a hard thing to wrap your head around!  I’d like to think that this would have little impact on me if I was in your situation and would support my fiancé 100% regardless of his decision but I know that’s easier said than done. He needs your support. However you are feeling, times that by 100 for him. Could you imagine being told you’ve had a child for 5 years that no one told you about?!  I’d be sick, pissed, sad, maybe excited a little to even. He really needs support right now-& seriously, I whole heartedly believe a child from another relationship will not take away from you two having a child in the future. 

Post # 62
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I was really happy to read your update, I actually commend your fiance for telling you before the wedding. Obviously he was dealing with the shock of it all and processing what it meant for him (BEYOND fair) but still wanted to give you the opportunity to have all the knowledge you needed before you said “I Do”

That speaks volumes of the man you are marrying, and I think you are a very lucky woman.

Families are weird. Each one is unique and each one has it’s issues like this… I know one couple who the husband had a child from before their marriage and never knew… this child ended up finding their son on facebook a few years ago which is how he connected.

My grandfather was born from his father’s first marriage, and when his father remarried, his new wife REFUSED to  let her children know him. They didn’t know they had a sibling until he had his own kids (at 25) and my grandmother literally dragged them to his father’s doorstep and said “you can’t ignore us any more. We exist, and we are family” – his sibs had NO IDEA he existed… now we see them every summer and christmas for enormous family bashes and at all sorts of events in between.

I guess my point from these stories is this: There is nothing wrong, ever, with having more people to love.. even if it’s not traditional or takes some time for those feelings to grow. It might be awkward, or a bad start, but it sounds like you’re taking some great first steps together.

Have a wonderful wedding 🙂

 

Post # 63
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
coopersmama :  that’s tough but just be supportive! He was honest and he must be going through so much! The childs mother doesn’t sound problematic either. There could be worst things. If he decides to be involved it may be a blessing for the both of you. 

Post # 64
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Marriage is for better or worse. . .through thick and thin. if ever there were a time to really buckle down and love this man, that would be now. Your support of him during this time may be a simple and being a sounding board and his support of you should be the same, but if you loved him unconditionally before he told you, you should still love him now, no matter how challenging it may be in this very moment. If you’re a religious person, pray about it and pray for peace. Hang in there!

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