Post # 1
I’m writing this post to share an ‘If I knew then what I know now’ perspective that I wish someone else had told me while I was busy picking napkin designs. When I was planning my wedding, the only timeline I was concerned with was the wedding date. Since the clock may be ticking a litter louder for some thirty-something brides (like I was), I wanted to offer the following suggestion to anyone who thinks they may want to take the family building step within/around the 1st year of marriage. My suggestion is to add a trip to your OB/GYN to your pre (or not long after) wedding checklist. Next time you make an appt for your annual exam, ask that it also be a pre-conception consultation. Never too early start asking questions and SO much easier to take the family step when you’re informed and prepared early. Questions I never thought to ask (and wish I had known earlier): How many months before I want to start trying should I start pre-natal vitamins? How long do I have to be off the pill to have a meaningful discussion about my cycle and timing? (the answer to both for me was at least 3 months…who knew?).
There’s not a “before you start thinking about conceiving so you’re not looking at baby boards yet” board so figured I’d post here. I realize not all 30+ brides want to start a family right away, but thought could possibly help those who may.
Post # 3
@ShellyT: Really helpful information, ShellyT! I am 34 years old, and getting married right before my 35th birthday, and would like to start family planning for this year. I will follow your advice!!! I just went off the Pill last month, and JUST got my first period (I was on the kind that make it so you never have one, and I was on that for 9 months) so am excited about getting on track! your post helps!
Post # 4
great advice! Also, you can start taking over-the-counter prenatal vitamins well before you hope to get pregnant so that you get your body prepared…..or, at the very least, a multivitamin. It’s never to early to start, really.
Post # 5
I’m a nurse, and I also went to my ob/gyn who’s also a great friend. She told me to start taking prenatals about a year in advance (this may sound extreme but it doesn’t hurt to take your vitamins.) I take a woman’s daily multi-vitamin anyway. Instead of regular prenatals I’m gonna take 2 Flintstone vitamins everyday. Those are used for women who just can not tolerate taking the regular prenatals. If you compare they come out to basically the same composition. I just can’t see me taking the horse pill size prenatals for a year. Blah! As far as birth control pills, every woman’s body is different. You could get pregnant as soon as you stop taking them (with your first ovulation cycle) or it could take months. It depends on how your body produces it’s own hormones and how your body’s inner cycle works.
Post # 7
didnt even think of this, (i wil be 24 when i get married (june 11,2011) but still we plan on having a planned pregnancy
Post # 8
I am a 33 year old newlywed and I just had the pre-conception meeting at my annual this month. The docs gave the same info off the pill and start with the pre-natal vitamins 3 months before you want to start “meaningful attempts” at conception. He also said to stop all “bad behaviors” 3 months out like drinking and smoking, and I guess anything else that you might indulge in. P.S. the “stopping bad behaviors” advice was for my husband too…so if your man is a smoker or a drinker let him know you aren’t the only one who has to give up vices for a healthy baby.
Best wishes to all of you for a happy healthy family!
Post # 9
What a lovely and useful post – thank you ShellyT for starting it!
I just got engaged 3 days ago and I am 35 this year. My fiance is turning 31 in October.
I don’t feel a day older than 25 but as a doctor, I know that my eggs (unfortunately!) do have an expiration date. Both him and I know that we want a family of our own and we have talked about my age etcetc.
I am really thankful and lucky that he understands about my biological clock and we both know we want to start trying on the wedding night! :):)
I will be 36 when I get married and 37 when I eventually have a baby, God willing.
When I see the number in print, it does really make me sound soooo old :(:(:(
Just a tip for those Aussie brides out there, don’t forget to change your private health insurance. Most insurance companies make you take out 12 months of obstetric cover BEFORE you are allowed to use it.
Post # 10
Great advice! I turn 35 three days after the wedding and I don’t want to wait too long to have a baby.
Post # 11
GREAT advice! My yearly is this Monday. 🙂
Funny thing is a friend of mine from HS got married in August and I was at her house and saw pre-natals. I was like, ummm… But she said her doc said she could start a year in advace. I will have to make a trip to the store tomorrow. Our plan is wedding, prego. I will be 33 and in for a world of shock as with my first(I was 18) I was a young mom and now it will be so different! But hopefully the plan works out and my two sisters and my bestie and I all get pregnant right after the wedding.
Good luck ladies! Excited for babies and weddings!
Post # 12
@ShellyT: Wow, thank you for writing this. 🙂 Good tips to know for the future!
Post # 13
Even though we are nowhere near ready to concieve, my fiance did note (he’s a physician, thinks about our health all the time) that most preganancies are not planned, and that starting on the pre natals, plus calcium will help us be prepared when we are. I’m 29 on the 20th, so we aren’t thinking about it until I turn 31 at least.
Post # 14
Such sage advice! A friend just told me she wishes she got this checkup along with her wedding planning almost 2 years ago. She is 35 now (but always says she feels 25), has been trying to conceive for over a year thinking it would be easy, and finally just went to get a fertility consult, and was told she had to wait 3 MONTHS for the appointment. The doc had zero bedside manner, which made her feel even worse. Thanks, ShellyT!
Post # 15
I’m curious, did everybody actually have an informative, thorough pre-conception exam with their doctor? My pre-conception meeting consisted of my doc asking me if I knew how my cycle works and prescribing me prenatals. No check-up, no questions about medical history, no adivce what I should or should not do other than taking prenatals.
@alohaemily: Did she just turn 35? I think they generally don’t do fertility consults until you have been unsuccessfully trying for a year and are under 35. At 35 and older, you can get one after 6 months of unsuccessfully trying. At pre-conception appointments, they are not checking if you are fertile.
Post # 16
GREAT thread! I’m 29 but will be 30 at my wedding next Spring and we’re going to start trying right away. I had “start prenatal vitamins” programmed into my phone calendar for May 1st….I’ve now changed it to March. Thanks!
I’ve had a few different friends go off the pill and get pregnant RIGHT away – they think that they were actually more fertile the month they went off (without waiting a full cycle). Anyone else heard of this? Is it bad for the baby in any way?