(Closed) One more time: Proof this invite?

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@misskarianne:  I would remove the period after “at five o’clock in the evening”.  I don’t think there needs to be punctuation there.

I agree that there doesn’t need to be a comma after the word “friendship”; it reads smoother without it.  “Extend the bonds of friendship to include the vows of marriage”.  No need for a pause after “frienship”.

Lastly, I would move the date down one line and remove the word “on.”  The date will stand out more and be easy for guests to zero in on it if it is separated from the rest of the text.  So:

extend the bonds of friendship

to include the vows of marriage

 

Friday, the twenty-first of September

two thousand twelve

at five o’clock in the evening

Post # 5
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@misskarianne:  Oh, okay!  Well, it still looks really nice!  I just like when the date is a little easier to zero in on when I’m skimming the invite to see if I can make it.  Wink

Post # 7
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

This is just my own opinion, but I don’t think you need the “double we” in the first part. I think it’s established who “we” is at the beginning of the invite.

So:

We invite you,
our family and friends,
to share in the celebration of our love as we

Name
&
Name

Either way it works, but thought I’d give my opinion! 🙂 I like the invite, very pretty!

Post # 8
Member
4431 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would remove the commas. 

Post # 10
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

@BellaDee:  I agree with this too.

I think that the spacing defines the breaks so commas are unnecessary! Makes it easier to read. 

Post # 11
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MsMindle:   I agree with this, take away the double we. other than that it looks great!

Post # 12
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i think its just the font you have, but the “O”s look really short. it’s most noticeable in the line “our family and friends”. i actually thought maybe even though you have it in an all caps font that maybe the O was lowercased or something.

some fonts are funky and if it doesnt bother you then id just leave it. if it does, you might want to try bumping the O up .5 to 1 pt in font size.

i agree about ditching that comma after friendship too!

The topic ‘One more time: Proof this invite?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors