(Closed) One of my biggest peeves- Kids crying during a wedding ceremony…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

They are your family so they have right to there if you want them there. It is your day if you dont want other children their you have that right. I personally am not having any children period.

Post # 4
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@peachbaby4008:  Don’t feel bad, it’s your wedding.  The only children that I’m inviting to my wedding are my nieces & nephews (fiance doesn’t have any) and the 3 children in my wedding party (flower girls & ring bearer).  At least one of them will be picked up by a sitter once the ceremony is over.  I hate when children cry or are disruptive during a ceremony and I don’t want the dance floor of my reception to turn into a playground.  

 

Post # 5
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

that was my biggest fear too!

my church has a “crying room” where parents can go if their kids get fussy or restless. it was near the front of the church so anyone inside could still see and hear the ceremony without worrying about their kids being so disruptive. i don’t think anyone even needed to use the room tho and all the kids were perfectly quiet during the whole ceremony. i was pleasantly surprised 🙂

i wish they had been that well behaved at the reception :/

Post # 6
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@peachbaby4008:  I know exactly what you mean… I had no idea how to word that I don’t want kids at any part of my wedding. I’ve spoken to all those I’ll be inviting that have kids, and all but one couple have taken it really well. I said that since the reception venue is quite small, and we have an average (100) sized guest list, and a live rock band, and alcohol, we thought it best if the parents came and enjoyed a night off… it seemed to come across alright. And if they decide they don’t want to come because of that one reason, we don’t need them there anyway :). Its your day, so do what you wanna do :).

Post # 7
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

I think most people understand the ‘no kids’ rule usually has exceptions with immediate family.

If they don’t, we’ll that’s their problem.

Post # 8
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think it sounds bad at all. In my personal opinion, little to nothing about a wedding makes sense to have kids present at all. I am saying absolutely no children attend mine and don’t feel bad about it at all.

Your wedding, your choice. From what I have observed as of late, many, many parents make zero effort to keep their children under control or remove them if they can’t be kept quiet/still. I know this is not true of all parents, but just from attending church, going out to eat, etc…I have seen enough. It’s like they have no regard for the comfort of others. I simply refuse to risk this happening on my wedding day.

Post # 9
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Our ceremony and reception are in the same hall. We get married, walk away, food gets set out, and bam. There’s an adjoining bathroom where moms can take their kids.

We invited one of FI’s friends, who has a 3.5-year-old and a 6-month-old. He seems ‘aware,’ so I’m not really worried about him. Future Sister-In-Law will probably sit while her baby cries during the ceremony. You would think someone would have the sense not to do that, but when I was visiting and my niece was crying (she breastfeeds), I kept telling her, “She’s hungry.” “Ohhh, she’s finne” or “No she’s not, I just fed her… ” Sure enough, kid was hungry.

I’ve just decided not to let it rub me the wrong way. Unfortunately, I’m not in the position to tell her the baby isn’t invited – this will be the first opportunity most people in her family will have to see the baby. Since the rest of her family will be at the wedding, she has some friends up here who may be able to baby-sit, but….ugh. I envy those who are in a better position to say ‘no kids.’ 

As soon as we were engaged – next to throwing a temper tantrum because her baby will ‘only’ be 4 months old at our wedding – Future Sister-In-Law was demanding to know if the baby would be invited.

Point being – someone is always going to boo-hoo and cry about your wedding. Emphasize that it’s an “adults-only” ceremony and reception. If people have the audacity to ask, give up any excuse you can – small venue, it’ll be easier on guests, etc.

I’ve been to weddings with kids. Especially if there’s alcohol, I can tell you right now that the majority of parents will kick back with the booze while their kids run wild. People just seem to think a wedding is a free-for-all for everyone. 

I’m glad there will only be 4 children under the age of 7 at my wedding – and possibly only 2 if FI’s friend cancels. 1 of those 4 kids is my ring bearer, and he’s very well-behaved. The only other child will be 12. 

 

Post # 11
Member
4933 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would like to think that parents bringing kids that may cry would know enough to briskly take them out of the ceremony room. No? 

Post # 12
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Is there a room at your ceremony location where kids could be dropped off and you could hire a babysitter? Our ceremony and reception are at the same place and we are hiring 1-2 babysitters (depending on the number of kids) to be in a room with kids and games and coloring and stuff, and the kids can be dropped off and picked up by their parents throughout the event. That way the kids can still attend but they don’t have to be down in the main area the entire time, and their parents can party without them. Most of our friends are leaving their kids at home anyway, but a lot of our family has children they will definitely be bringing.

 

Either that or make it adults-only with the exception of family.

Post # 13
Member
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m with you! I love kids, but it’s so distracting when kids start acting up during the ceremony. We are definitley going kid-free for our wedding.

Post # 14
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

At my sisters ceremony (full catholic mass) her husbands little niece ran up and down the side of the church screaming and playing for half an hoin, encouraged two others to do the same before one of the grandparents finally got up and grabbed Them. Parents did nothing! We are having no kids at the ceremony or reception. 

Post # 15
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

One of my guests is bringing his 6 year old son, and he can be cute but he loves to talk and ask questions about everything!!! My biggest fear is the kid talking to his dad through the whole ceremony! I am not too terribly worried however, as he listens to his dad and I’m sure if his dad told him to not talk, he probably wont. But then I have a 2 year old who will be there…she’s a different story!

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