(Closed) One of my biggest marriage fears

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We marry the whole package.  He knows all of this about you, and he loves you and wants to marry you. Period. I wouldn’t drive yourself crazy worrying about this. If you are active about getting help, and sensitive about the people around you, you will be completely fine. For me, it helps that my crazy things can be out in the open, and we can laugh about it.

Post # 19
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I also have OCD, and when my Fiance and I first bought our house it was a big adjustment for him getting used to how I liked things done, and my little “rituals” if you will. I have to touch things a certain amount of time, and I get a headache and nervous when there is clutter, or things where they are not supposed to be. Even if a drawer is open a smidge, I will get out of bed to fix it. But my Fiance now tries to help me with certain weird tasks, and it makes me less stressed, and less compulsive. I think the less stress you are under the better your OCD will be. Hope I helped:)

Post # 20
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Reading your post, it was like I’d written it. lol our FH’s share the same name even. The only difference is that we’ve lived together for a month here & there (we’re long distance) and I already have him into a routine. The first time I went to his home I cleaned for 3 days. Over the last 3 years he’s become a lot more tidy & organized beause of my tools.  I am borderline OCD & share many of your feelings!

You seem to be on the right path with the dump bowl (we have several in his house) and the rules about things on the counters, can’t have a single dirty dish in the sink, whatever it may be. He loves you. He understands. He will learn fast. You won’t turn him into a clean freak, but he will be more mindful of where he places things. The challenge is going to be more for you- you will have to become very patient with him while he learns.

It can be difficult to live with someone who is so set in their ways, but over time it will become second nature to him to just place things in containers or in drawers, etc. Once you get a routine together for your household, you’ll be more at ease.

Post # 21
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I really feel for you and I hope you realize by all of these posts that you needn’t feel embarrassed to talk about it. We all have issues we have to deal with so there’s no shame. I sort of get where you’re coming from, in that I have this thing where I need everything facing forward — shampoo, can of beans — doesn’t matter. It provides “order” for me (either that or I just like to look at the front of the packaging!). Of course my Fiance doesn’t have this same need so I have had to learn over the course of almost 2 years living together to block out his stuff and focus on mine being the way I want. He’s been trainable in some areas, not so much in others, but the same is obviously true for me as I’ve learned to let some things go. It’s tough to adjust to shared space at first, but little by little you’ll figure it out together.

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