(Closed) One of my bridesmaids is a “bailer”… sorry long vent!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How should I handle this?
    Let it be. You already know what type of "friend" she is and you need to accept it as chosen. : (5 votes)
    33 %
    Talk to her about your worries that she won't make it to the wedding (and connected events). : (2 votes)
    13 %
    Keep putting forth effort to be more connected - she probably IS really busy when she says she is. : (2 votes)
    13 %
    Demand that she needs to put in more effort into the friendship or you're out. : (0 votes)
    Ask if she truly wants to be a bridesmaid and give her an "out" if she wants it. : (5 votes)
    33 %
    Go through with having her as a bridesmaid but after the wedding let the friendship go. : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Other advice: Explained below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 4
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Unfortunatly she sounds like a friend that I had once. We are still friends but used to be so tight you couldn’t slip a piece of paper between us, so to speak. We were literally inlove with eachother and I thought we’d still be tight even after she moved a little ways away but that was the demise. We talked all the time after but as the weeks went by we talked less and less and it got to the point where every week or so I’d get a text saying “I’m coming to visit!” or “see ya soon!” and nothing. They would get cancelled last minute and I would be devistated. Anyways what I’m getting to is, back then we promised eachother that we’d be eachother’s MOH’s, etc. but when it came down to it, she won’t even be in the wedding party…if she makes it to the wedding at all.

    It seems like a long serious talk won’t do, even if you spill everything that you feel, and it won’t hit her until something big happens, like not putting her as a bridesmaid (which personally I wouldn’t make her one) then if she questions it, explain to her everything again and hopefully she’ll understand.

    …when this was all happening to me with my friend, Fiance (who knew her too and how close we were) said “friendship should always be there, and not end up hurting”

    Anyways I hope that helps! Good luck! If you need to talk, just send me a PM 🙂

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