- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site
My best friend from high school moved across the country after graduation because her father got transfered. We’ve kept in touch since then, especially since Facebook came out we’ve talked a lot back and forth. She’s been back to visit a few times since (I haven’t been to see her because I didn’t have time, funds, and now we have a 3 year old son) She knew I’d ask her to be a bridesmaid whenever I got married, and we’ve always excitedly talked about it. I got engaged in 2010, she was one of the first I called, and when I asked her to be a bridesmaid she was super happy. Anyway, the 3 other local girls and I made plans in January to go dress shopping, I made it clear that they could pick any dress, from any designer, as long as they had a colour similar to what I wanted. Originally the local girls wanted Alfred Angelo dresses, but to accomodate the budget of the BM who doesn’t live here anymore, decided to go with David’s Bridal, at her request. There is a David’s in her city, we had to drive two hours away to get our dresses. I’ve been politely asking (and deliberately trying not to hound her) since FEBRUARY about going to try on dresses, that I wanted to know what she wanted, maybe see some pictures etc. She’s been ignoring and avoiding that topic since then. She excitedly told me about booking her flight, siad she was bringing her sister as a date (more on this later) since her boyfriend is going to be away at that time. We even talked recently about her upcoming trip to South America with her boyfriend (they’ve been together like, 12 years, I think?), so I know it’s not money that’s an issue for the dress, hell, DB has some for like, 60 bucks! I keep gently bringing it up, even though I feel like yelling at her, get your effing dress ordered. She told me a few times she was going that day, or that Sunday, or the next one, or the next one, always putting it off and never getting back to me. I originally wanted to order them all at the same time so we got the same dye lot, but she kept ignoring my messages and it’s too late for that now. Then some weeks later she was giving me excuses about losing weight and wanting to get a dress that fit not one that was too big when it came in. I guess I understand that but my wedding is now four months away, and she’s still ignoring my messages. I don’t know what her problem is, and I feel like if I keep asking I’m just pissing her off. I know she’s read my messages (handy little FB feature), what do I do? Meanwhile, I’m making my other girls wait after her. My maid of honour is going to need extensive modifications to her dress, (she’s about 80 lbs, really tiny) and we cannot wait anymore to order. I sent a group message on FB on Saturday saying that’s it, we’re can’t wait anymore, we’re ordering now so we don’t get screwed. She saw the messages, everyone but her replied.
I don’t know if I should just tell her she doesn’t HAVE to be in the WP if she feels it’s too much of a financial burden (all I’ve asked them to pay for is the dress, they can wear shoes they already have) and she’d be welcome to come as a regular guest but I don’t want her to think I’m kicking her out. At the same time, if she doesn’t order a bloody dress, she’s not walking down the aisle in a green random dress while everyone else is dressed in matching plum. I don’t want to strain the relationship, I don’t want her not hate me or not come, I just want to know what’s going on with the dress.
Now, about the sister. I know her sister, she’s a great girl. She’s an awesome hairdresser, and offered to come as my friend’s date, and do our hair for free if I paid for her plane ticket. Seemed like a good deal at first, but the ticket is going to cost me about 700 dollars, plus the 120 dollars a head for the dinner. I’m 100% sure I get get a way cheaper local hairdresser to do our hair, what was I thinking? So, now I either have to politely say my budget is too tight to pay for the plane ticket and sound like a bitch, (she’s totally welcome to pay her own ticket and attend as a guest, I’m cool with that) or suck it up and buy a plane ticket for someone who won’t even get back to me on the simple topic of dresses. At this point, I would settle for ‘yes I went, I liked xyz models, this is what they looked like, I’m just waiting till I get back from Chile to make up my mind and place my order” I feel that I’m being suuuuuper accomodating here, and inside I’m freaking the hell out because I can’t get her to give me the time of day!