Post # 1
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
I DON’T want to get my hopes up at all….but….
I have this ring that I absolutely love to wear. It’s a three-stone ring (looks very much like an engagment ring) made of cubic zirconia. I think I got it for $10 on Ebay but it looks really REAL. Of course, if it were real, it would probably cost like $20,000….the center stone is like a good 2.5 carats and the side stones are like 1 carat each! Once, on vacation, I wore the ring and a few people we met mistook it for an engagement ring and we played along. My Boyfriend or Best Friend knows I love that ring and I always joke that I want my real engagment ring to look like that.
I was out of town for a couple weeks in September. Anyway, I came back a couple weeks ago and could not find the ring anywhere. I’m almost positive I didn’t back it with me to take on my trip – I am pretty sure I left it in my jewelry box, but I can’t find it anywhere. I searched all my bags and I can’t find it. I can’t help but DREAM that MAYBE my bf took it while I was gone and took it to a jeweler to model a similar one for me! Obviously, I could be totally off base, so I am probably getting myself excited for nothing. I told Boyfriend or Best Friend I couldn’t find it and he was like “didn’t you leave it at my mom’s house the other weekend?” and I was like..no..I don’t think so…I just left a bracelet there. He didn’t seem weird at all when I asked him. I am probably getting my hopes up for nothing but I just can’t help but dream!
In reality, I don’t think he would spend anything close to what it would cost to make that ring real (even though a smaller scale might be doable?). Last week, I was talking about my friend who just got engaged, and her ring is a really pretty solitare 1.5 carat diamond. I just mentioned this in passing to Boyfriend or Best Friend and then he told me later he felt really hurt when I talk about stuff like that because he can’t get me that. I don’t really know what that means…he acts like he can’t afford a ring! But he has no debt and I know for a fact that in November he is getting a pretty big quarterly bonus and around Christmas he is coming into a fairly decent amount of money……..plus he has ample savings. Granted, I know he wants to buy an investment property with the money he is getting and has saved…….but isn’t there a LITTLE extra money in there for a ring for me??? I get hurt when I know he has money and says he can’t afford a ring….
Anyway this is just a random vent, I am probably getting my hopes up for nothing, but hopes are all I have to keep me going!
Post # 3
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
I’d try to put it our of your mind (like that’s possible, I know) and try really hard not to get hopes up. I’m going to repeat my friend’s rule about little jewelry boxes so you can tell your guy at a good moment:
No small jewelry boxes that look like THE ring could be in them… unless THE ring is in it. Otherwise a nice, possibly expensive pair of earrings, a necklace or who knows what will be a let down, no matter how nice it is.
I like to torture myself by “window” shopping on the web – it looks like some places can be pretty reasonalbe with their prices for rings and bridal sets, and some even have payment plans… Personally, I think almost anything would be fine with my, except CZ – my mom was the QVC queen of CZ, and I’ve read that they are on the birrlte side and can chip/crack more easily than diamond (of course) or moissanite. Heck, I’d like my birthstone instead of a diamond, since it’s only semi-precious it can be pretty big but less expensive.
Try your best not to expect a ring, especially at Christmas, as I’m sure he wants to give you something nice, and some guys are against proposing ON a holiday… he might be looking, and taking his time to make sure he picks the right ring, or your ring might have slipped somewhere unlikely in the house and you’ll find it next week – you can’t know till he gets down on that knee… anticipating too much will only drive you nuts 🙂
Post # 4
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
Making your ring a reality is mind-bogglingly expensive. And I’m not the one under pressure to do so in the next two months.
OK. My guy is fairly well off. He’s using an heirloom diamond I gave him. He STILL has $3K budgeted for a ring (and I pointed out only rings under $1K.) A 1.5 carat diamond costs about $13K through the company he’s buying my ring from. A 2.5 carat diamond costs $27K ($17K for a low quality diamond that size.)
Think of that on a month-to-month basis. $20-30,000 for a ring? AND moving to another country, starting over entirely? You’re thinking you want to be engaged in, oh, 15+ years, then?
Of COURSE it hurts when you say “I want a ring like this 2.5 carat one!” or “Well, 1.5 carats would do.” Maybe the delay in an engagement could be due, in part, to the fact that he knows you want a huge ring that he can’t reasonably afford. You can get a pretty $150 ring at a department store, but it WON’T be a 1.5 carat diamond. It’d make things easier on him to find some inexpensive rings (with the gems already included) to show him. Culture tells us it has to be a real gem, which is probably what he wants to get you. He probably thinks you’d be disappointed by any ring he COULD afford. And he probably wants his proposal to be perfect. Which is more important – getting married (properly) or having a big ring?
(This came up for me when I realized part of his delay in proposing was that my guy thought I “deserved” a big ring. I don’t even LIKE big rings. It wasn’t until I found relatively cheap rings – that are very much my style – that he got on board with the idea of getting engaged in the next six months.)
Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I think he took it to get it sized for your engagement ring, but I think you might be getting your hopes up too high that he is modeling the ring after it. It’s much more likely that it is a sizing issue!
Post # 6
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
@crayfish: Maybe! I told him my size awhile ago though. I could just be imagining everything and I am going to find my ring in some random place next week, lol.
@cyneswith: Oh, no, I would never expect such an expensive ring! I just meant, it would be cute if he modeled a ring off of mine (i.e. the three stone shape..obviously much, MUCH smaller). I would be furious if he spent over like $3,000 on a ring, is even too expensive! We actually just had a talk about budgets and I think I know what his is and we talked about rings I like…
which makes me thing he didn’t take my ring and I just lost it somewhere. lol…oh well;)
Post # 7
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
Whether he got it from you or not, it’s good that you have talked about budgets and your taste! That’s a huge step for guys to be willing to talk about it!!
And, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but if my guy had taken my ring and I had asked him about it, he would have played it cool and I would have never known…. so… even though he played it off, he still could have something going on. You never know with guys… they can be very surprising! 🙂
I hope it’s soon for you!! It’s so exciting!!
Post # 8
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
Oh my gosh, I had the same thing happen about a month ago, and let me tell you, don’t get your hopes up!! For a few days, I couldn’t find one of my favorite rings (a simple but pretty aquamarine solitaire that I wear on my ring finger a lot), and I thought “Ohmygosh! Could he have taken it to get it sized?!” I tried so hard not to get my hopes up, but I did. I found it a few days later – turns out I put it in a little glass jar on my dresser that I recently got from my mom and just didn’t think about because it’s so new (it didn’t occur to me as a place I might have put it).
I hope this turns out better for you, but it can be such a disappointment if it doesn’t! Ugh (lol, sorry, just remembering this gets me frustrated with myself).
Post # 9
Member
2308 posts
Buzzing bee
I agree its suspicous, but I think he may have took it to get your ring size(but then again why take your favourite ring?) I don’t know just to put your mind at ease I’d keep looking for it though see where it shows up.
Goodluck!
