(Closed) one of my possible bridesmaid is a tranny

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

If your friend is living her life as a woman she should not be forced to wear mens clothes. 

Post # 33
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

In My Humble Opinion, You either accept all of her or you dont accept her at all.

If having your best friend and making your mom happy is most important than have her as a guest to your wedding with no bridal party, I could imagine she’d be super excited for you. Maybe you could help her find a dress, have that Bmaid experience without the bridal party!

But I would make it clear to my mother that she need to respect my friend’s wishes with her own life and religious views, just as im sure your friend respects your  mother’s.

Post # 35
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

@tani: I think that, if she is your best friend, and this is your wedding day and your decision, you should stick up for your friend. Sure, she may have faced discrimination before but she shouldn’t have to. If you care about her, don’t side with your mum over an issue of discrimination. Let her be your bridesmaid in a bridesmaid dress.

Post # 36
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If your mom is helping to pay for the wedding or you feel like there’s some reason that you absolutely need to honor her request, I simply wouldn’t ask your friend to be in the wedding. I think it would be really degrading and insulting for her as a transsexual for her best friend to ask her to dress up as something she’s not. It’s no different than if she asked you to dress up in a man’s clothes for her wedding. 

If it were me, I would ask my friend and treat her as I would any other bridesmaid. I personally feel as though your mom is being discriminatory, regardless of whether the wedding is a religious one or not. But it’s ultimately up to you.

Post # 37
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would love to see an update from the OP.

Post # 39
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

@bebefly: Agreement with the term “tranny” being insulting. I totally didn’t realise until a friend called me out on it about a year and a half ago because it upset him. “trans” is a much better term.

Post # 40
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Are you wanting a full Catholic mass with a priest? Is your Fiance Catholic?

Honestly, seems to me that the possible solutions are
1) do what your mom says or
2)have the wedding outside or in a hotel or other indoor venue. If you’re non-traditional and not a really observant Catholic then is the church really important? I agree with PP’s that you probably should at least inform whoever will be performing the ceremony if your friend will be involved just to prevent any sort of scenes or issues the day of. Give yourself enough time to get someone else if the officient has a problem.

Communication seems to be the key and figuring out what parts of the day are most important to you. Standing up with your best friend? being in a church? pacifying your mom? etc.

Post # 41
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Seriously is not yours mom’s weding, who cares if she is transsexual or a woman,  since you are getting married and will have kids, you never know jow your kids will be, so how you treat others, expect the same for your kids,,, just womndering if you have a very feminine gay kid,,  What your religious MOM will do when all family assit to the Church?

 

Seriously…  expect the same!!!

 

 

Post # 42
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d be interested in an update as well!

The topic ‘one of my possible bridesmaid is a tranny’ is closed to new replies.

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