(Closed) One of my top fears in life? Pregnancy and birth!

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

lolita1027:  Have you ever considered adopting? You would be able to have an older child which would eradicate any of your childbirth fears, and you would be giving a home and love to a beautiful human being who needs it 🙂 Wins all around.

Post # 4
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

lolita1027:  Ahhh well that’s something you’ll have to wrestle with then. All I can say is that as a student of medical history, we have the best prenatal/women’s/child’s healthcare that has ever existed in all of humanity, so for the pain/problems that can come with childbirth, there has literally never been a better time in human history to have a child (this is assuming you live in a country with first world medical care, medical history has not been uniformly improved on a global scale). That’s something to remember 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

lolita1027:  Not a mom but I feel the EXACT same way at times. I have a horribly weak threshold for anything medical. If I have to get blood taken, I almost always am near fainting (just typing this is making me clammy). In 8th grade I threw up in the nurses office after a girl came to our health class to explain her insulin pump. I passed out in a meeting as a camp counselor when they told us how to use an epi pen. I was there when Darling Husband tore his ACL and people had to help ME more than him because I was throwing up and near passing out. Ever since I was young and had this problem my mom would always say “How are you ever going to have kids??? You need to get over this!” Like I can magically tell myself to stop passing out. But that thought sticks with me… how will I ever have kids? Not just the pregnancy and birth (which I’ll have to have a c-section for. I don’t know how I’ll be able to be awake during that). But also, how will I be able to care for my kids if they get hurt? A scraped knee I can handle but what about more serious injuries? A broken arm? I gash in their forhead? Accidents happen. Will I be able to handle it?

I’m also a constant worrier. Will I be able to handle my kids having a ‘normal’ childhood… running around and playing? All I can imagine is freaking out everytime they’re out of my sight. I really really do want children but the thought of it terrifies me. Would I ever be able to handle it?

Post # 6
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

lolita1027:  Its nothing wrong with your feelings.  And there are plenty of older children out there that need a good home.  Many of them bring their own problems, but they need good people.

I have a dear friend who takes medication for anxity and her and her husband after their first decided they were one and done family as far as bio children go. She did struggle being off anxity medication, and ended up taking 6 weeks off work a few months after her maternity leave to deal with bad postpartum depression. 

Not saying to scare you, but sharing experience.  There is nothing wrong with protecting your health first.  It’s best for your children, no mater which route you take, that you take care of yourself.

Post # 8
Member
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

lolita1027:  I was never afraid of pregnancy or birth growing up, but as I’ve gotten older and know more of the facts and what happens to your body, I am terrified and want no part of it. Pregnancy makes Darling Husband super squeamish as well. I also see no attraction to infants.

If Darling Husband and I decide to become parents, we will 100% be adopting and likely adopting a child who is at least a year old.

Post # 9
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

lolita1027:  I feel exactly the same way! Even with regards to adopting.

My GFs are all popping out babies and I’ve heard some terrible stories… which isn’t helping but they also all say you forget all about it…

I am so on the fence, and so is Fiance… so I have a feeling we’ll never decide and wake up when i’m over 40 and he’s 50 and realize we aren’t having kids.

Post # 10
Member
941 posts
Busy bee

I’m a mom of soon to be 3. I hate pregnancy, I really hate childbirth and I’m not a giant fan of the new born stage. But, I adore my kids. And I’m ridiculously excited to be welcoming my third little son into the world. I’m actually not a giant fan of other people’s kids, mostly because I’m not good with them. I love all kids and hate to see any of them suffer. I had asked my husband for years if we could adopt and we were actually in the process of planning for it when I found out I was pregnant. I think that it you decide to be a mom regardless of which route you take to get there everything will fall into place. Pregnancy isn’t the greatest time for me. But, it only lasts a short time and you get rewarded with a little person that loves you more then he/she knows. It’s beautiful.

Post # 11
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ama14:  I’m glad I read this, I’m only 23 so not planning children just yet, even though Darling Husband is older than me. I’m pretty sure I want children at some point, but I don’t like the idea of pregnancy, childbirth can obviously sound horrendous, newborns are so needy, and I don’t know what to do with other people’s children… So I’ve always just hoped that I’d know what to do with my own! MY Darling Husband has a nephew almost 3, and a 9 month old neice-both very cute but oh my- the energy they have! Haha.

Post # 14
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I used to be terrified of giving birth, until I got pregnant. Once I was forced to accept that it would happen, it became less scary somehow. There was still fear of the unknown, because nobody can fully explain what it will feel like, but there is a reason pregnancy is so long! By the end, all you want is to get that baby out! You can also get an epidural, and that basically takes all of the pain away, and you just feel pressure (assuming you have a good epidural).

I’ve had 2 kids, and you honestly forget the details of giving birth over time. My first was a long labor with lots of pushing. It was more tiring than painful. My second was pretty short, and I literally didn’t have to push at all. It was so easy!

Post # 15
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

lolita1027:  I felt like I was reading my life story! I was just at the DR yesterday for my physical and she wanted to take blood ect and I almost passed out in just the though! Needless to say, I didnt have that done and then she started talking to me about kids ect… I’m sitting on the fence too and in my 30s as well…. ahhh! 

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