(Closed) one of our GMs’ wife wants divorce

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Man, you have some intense groomsmen! So much drama, I’m sorry!

But, I totally understand that seeing his friend’s relationship (which looked good on the outside) crumble, would raise doubts in his head. He is right though–stuff can happen, and he’s just projecting it on you. Poorly might I add. It’s raising some doubts in his mind, just like watching anyone who had what seemed to be a good marriage, fall apart, would do.

And yeah, prenups if you have zero assets IMO…i don’t really get it i guess. But instead of tweaking back on him (which i love that phrase btw, lol), ask him what he wants to protect with a prenup. I bet he’ll go “Uhh…uhh…” and realize there’s really nothing. There’s some fear there. Ask him what it is. Reassure him he has no reason to be afraid or doubtful of YOUR relationship, despite his friends’ relationship. 

I think his freak out is relatively legit. If one of my friends was going through this, I coudl totally see myself calling my husband and being like “omg….” and have a freak out minute. If he freaked out BACK on me though, that’d make it way worse than him just reassuring me i’m freaking out over nothin

Post # 4
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Big hugs. Aw, it’s such a sucky situation to be in! (On a side note this reminds me of the Simpsons – if you watch it – where Milhouse’s parents get a divorce and Homer pre-empts Marge leaving him so gets them a divorce as well). 

When we were still talking about marriage FH had a big massive freak out when his cousin broke up with his long term girlfriend thinking that we would do the same. Soon after we got engaged a girl who we’ve known for years came out as having multiple affairs and was thinking of leaving her husband which caused FH to freak out again. 

My advice is to speak to him when he gets home. Talking to him face to face and explaining to him that his GM’s relationship isn’t a reflection of your relationship is a discussion you really need to have with him in person. 

*hugs* You can do this. And he will come around. Let him freak out for a bit and then gently bring him back to earth. It’ll all be fine and he really needs to be there to support his friend. Remind him of that slowly and it’ll all be ok. So long as he feels secure in his relationship with you.

Post # 7
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That you remain sane in the midst of your planning never ceases to amaze.  Srsly.  So. Much. Drama!

Maybe Fiance can have a gentle conversation with his Groomsmen once some of the dust has settled to ask if he’s still up for participating?

Post # 9
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009


Even with my trust issues, I can’t totally relate to him freaking out on you about that…I mean, I can see where he’s coming from, especially if they were ‘that’ couple like you mentioned & just seemed so great & all, but still… Life happens, crappy things happen, people break up. It’s nothing new and it’s everywhere. I guess it’s because it’s HIS friend that he’s freaking out so much.

My best friend got a divorce about a year ago. Her husband, whom she had been with for 8 years, decided he wanted to leave. He moved in with a girl he was working with and that was that. I didn’t wig out on my hubby (we weren’t married at the time), but maybe I would have if it had surprised me. As it stood, they were definately NOT the perfect couple, and he was the biggest DB in history, so not really any reason to compare him to my hubby…

I think you can work it out. After he thinks about it a little more hopefully he will calm down. That’s pretty funny about the pre-nup thing though “YOU HAVE NO ASSETS” LOL. So mean. But hey, I would have said the same thing if my man wanted one.

Post # 10
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My husband said something about a pre-nup once after he was freaked out my a friend’s SO’s beahvior. I laughed at him and reminded him how more I make and how neither of us have very much.:)

    When you go home give him a little reaasurance. He was acting a little dramatic- you are not the other guys wife- and make sure you tell him you don’t like being compared to people like that. It’s insulting.

  Feel better 🙂


Post # 11
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We can’t help but to be affected by someone elses divorce when they’re close to us. I flipped out on my fiance about 3yrs ago when I found out my cousin was getting a divorce. I was freaking out. Not that I liked her husband, but my cousin and I are so much alike. I have great role models on long term relationships (my parents have been married 36yrs) and my fiance and I rarely fight. But still I needed reassurance. I’m sure your Fiance needs that too. Tell him “honey we’re not Groomsmen & his wife. I didn’t mean what I said, I got upset that you were compairing us to them. I love you. And I know that I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. That will never change”. You both let your emotions run  high before. Just say something soothing to him and he’ll probably calm down.

Don’t send the guy’s STD. He knows when the wedding is. Give it about a month and when you order the tuxes give him a heads up a month ahead of time and make sure he’s done it but other wise just don’t bring it up.

Post # 12
1102 posts
Bumble bee

My parents have been married for nearly 30 years, they are one of the happiest couples I know. But when they went through a period a few years ago where a lot of their friends who had been married the same amount of time were splitting up, Mum had a similar freak out. After 25 years of marriage! So I think it’s pretty normal, it’s good to realise that sh*t happens no matter how much you don’t expect it to and prepare for it if you can (kind of like car insurance to me). I’m sure you guys will figure out a way to support your friend and nurture your own relationship 🙂

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