Post # 17
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
I know the feeling. In fact, I had an absolute meltdown about a week ago because his mom just got engaged to her boyfriend of three years. Seeing my friends get engaged hasn’t really been a huge bother to me, though it stings when they’ve been with their guys for 1.5 – 2 years and I have been with mine for 5. However, when his mom got engaged, I snapped. They’ve just (days ago!) celebrated their three year anniversary, and we even discussed how it would be weird if they did it before us. Perhaps I overreacted, but the hurt was unbearable. Even now, I just feel so crushed. I keep screaming “it’s not fair!” in my head.
You’re allowed to feel this way. When you love someone, you’re ready to take the next step in your life, and they are on board…the waiting just seems so futile, like such a useless waste of time. You’re not alone. If it really is starting to bother you, I would talk with him about it.
Post # 18
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
@awolfpaw:
@elle_z:
Thanks Ladies! Yeah, I think I’m just having one of those days today. But I’m definately going to talk to him about it if I start having alot of these days in a row. I’m hopeful – We own a house together, we have lived together for 3 years, been together for 7. We are committed for sure. We have a really, really good relationship – this has been the only thing we have argued about really in the past few years. Uggh. But he knows how I feel – so here’s hoping he “surprises” me like he said. If I get to 8 years, I will be going on a week trip by myself. With alot of WINE 😀
Post # 19
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
So I had a terrible night last night. We were over at the neighbours across the street for beers and my SO excused himself to go shower, as he still had his work clothes on when we were visiting with them. The husband of our neighbours and I, started talking and it came down to talking about my SO and us getting married, which turned into me being upset yesterday about waiting so long. (We are really really close with our neighbours. I am best friends with his wife & he is close with my SO)
Anyway – we talked and he pretty much said my SO wants people to get off his back about it before he does it and wants everyone to finish getting married & engaged before he does it. Guess what. People are never going to get off his back about it, people are going to judge and say things because that’s what people do. I’ve asked my parents and certain friends to butt out and mind their own business many times but I can’t control what people say and do. And people will continue to get married every year. It’s life. There is never a time when people are not getting married.
I was just pretty upset by hearing this yesterday that I probably made some back handed comments I shouldn’t of to him (Made in a joking manner but still) and went to sleep pretty sad. This morning, we were having our morning coffee and he mentioned that I sounded pretty bitter yesterday. I sat with him and said that he needs to understand that we’ve been dating 7 years and that I am going to have moments like this because I am not perfect and it does get to me. Problem is, since then, which was an hour ago, I can’t stop crying and feeling like shit about it. He got called out to work and he asked me what was wrong and that he knew what it was and all I could say was, “I’ll get over it, I always do” and try not to cry. I know he is a great guy – we have a fantastic relationship. I really wish we I could let this go. I really do. I don’t know why I want to married so bad. I don’t want to put pressure on him or give him a timeline – to each their own but I don’t believe in it. But at the same time, I don’t feel like he takes this seriously. I know he takes our future seriously – as I mentioned above, he is starting to save for our big move in 2 years. But I just don’t understand that he can’t meet me halfway on this – I am traditional and would like to get married, even if it was eloping – why can’t he see that that would make me happy. Ugh. I am just so sad today.
Post # 20
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
@lilymarie23: Well, you shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to get married. I’m sorry you have been crying so much lately. 🙁 When I was reading your original post and then your update, I wanted to shake your guy and say, “DO IT ALREADY!!!” but guys can be douche-hats sometimes.
I hope it’s soon. *hugs*
Member