(Closed) One sister, but not the other?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hm. Personally I don’t feel like there’s a rule about asking your FI’s siblings to be a part of the wedding party (meaning his sisters as your Bridesmaid or Best Man, or your brothers as his GM), but I do think it’s a nice gesture when it happens if there’s a good relationship/friendship there already. If I were in your shoes I would be hurt too. Are they close enough that outside of the IL relationship she would be considered a close enough friend to be a BM?

Post # 4
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

At my best friends sisters wedding  she only had one of her four sisters in her wedding.  I know they all don’t get along but I know she was hurt by it.  They could at least say why they are not having you in it.  I think a little kindness on their part would not hurt, even if you are not in their wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d be really hurt.  I know there is no rule or anything about having your SO’s siblings in your wedding party, but IMO, if you choose to include one you have to include them all.  It really is just hurtful not to.  I definitely don’t blame you for being upset.

Post # 6
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would be hurt too. I think you should talk to your brother or if you feel close enough to talk to the Future Sister-In-Law and ask if there was a reason why you weren’t asked just so you would know. Make sure they know you’re not trying to cause drama and that you just want to know why

Post # 8
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ouch! I would be very offended and hurt. That was very rude of her.  I feel that siblings should always be included–no matter what your relationship is with them.  They’re family, and in my book, that requires an automatic Bridesmaid or Best Man or Groomsmen position.

Post # 9
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Is your sister unmarried? I’ve recently discovered that a lot of people still subscribe to the belief that bridesmaids should be single – if you’re married but your sister is still single (technically), that may be what’s going on here. I understand why you feel the way you do, though!

Post # 10
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If it helps, I’m one of those terrible people (Embarassed) who are having 1 Future Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid, and thereby excluding 2. I don’t know any of them well, as we’ve only met once and have always lived in different cities. But I invited the oldest sister because she’s the oldest, because she’s closest to FH, and because the younger two are fabulous, semi-pro singers who I’d like to sing a song together. Also, because I didn’t want a million bridesmaids, and didn’t want to exclude my best friends.

Post # 11
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

Just to take the devil’s advocate position, imagine if someone came on here posting “I’m really close to one of FI’s sisters but not not the other.  I want to ask the one to be part of my bridal party, but I only want bridesmaids that I’m close to, since this is such an emotional event, and I don’t want to have to cut a friend from being a bridesmaid just to accomodate someone I don’t know well.”

I think a lot of us would be supporting her.  This day isn’t about you, and though you might feel slighted or hurt, perhaps you can do something else for your brother and just focus on being happy for them.  And even if it is rude to not invite you, I think it is far more rude to be negative toward the marrying couple.

Post # 14
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Knotted: It could very well be! That’s what I’d tell myself, anyway 😉 If they do ask you to be a part of their wedding in some capacity other than a Bridesmaid or Best Man: rather than being offended, perhaps you could see it as they still want you to be involved in their big day even though your marital status “disqualifies” you from being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

The topic ‘One sister, but not the other?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors