(Closed) One step forward, two steps back.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

You are sooooo good and patient!!! I just wanted to tell you I admire you and so wish I could be like that.

Post # 5
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

@ladyartichoke:  I dont really have anything to offer, you definately sound like you have a good head on your shoulders:D

But I was curious where you might go from here. Will you guys wait to establish your career first, or do you re-visit the conversation again in the future, or just hope he’ll sort through his fears?

(these are genuine questions, not being snarky or leading or anything, just wondering:P)

Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@ladyartichoke:  You sound like you’re in a similar situation to me. Only you are much more rational and calm! I’m not even at the 2 1/2 year point and I think if I had to wait another 2 1/2 years I’d go mental. Also, you moved all the way for him, which shows that you’re also brave – I couldn’t do that with no guarantee.

At the very least, you should be proud of yourself for having these qualities; I know I would be if I were like you!!! I hope he comes around and that you both work things out!

Post # 9
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@ladyartichoke:  How old are you both? If you’re older than me then maybe I can hope to reach your level of maturity soon, haha.

I had the same conversation with my SO yesterday – told him I felt strung along, only of course I wasn’t as calm as you. Do you feel like the career thing is an excuse, or a legitimate thing that he wants you to do? And not an excuse per se, but just that he will keep on coming up with one thing after another? Sounds like you both have a great relationship, so maybe he just genuinely wants you to be the best that you can be. Also, it says you live in Singapore, and I guess I could see how in that environment the career stuff might become important to him, even if it wasn’t before. Then again, being married never stopped anyone from having a career, so you’re right on that front. =)

Post # 11
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@ladyartichoke:  I am closer to your SOs age, and can only imagine the things I would have done if I were as mature as you at 22. Good for having a great head on your shoulders. I have no doubts you’ll make it to wherever you want in life with that level of emotional maturity at 22. When I was 22 I was interested in things like shopping and hairdressers and hanging out with friends for hours on end doing nothing of a productive nature. What a contrast (though I was quite happy with that, I must say).

Post # 12
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@ladyartichoke:  Wow, I’m 32 (FI is 37) and you’re way more mature than me.  I’ve never been a waiting bee (never wanted to get married really), so I can only imagine how hard this is.  Heck, I have a hard time waiting for an appetizer to get to my table lol.  I don’t really have any advice, but I just wanted to say that you sound like an amazing catch, and I think your SO knows that too.  Best of luck to you both.

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