Post # 1
As of today our wedding is 1 year away. Yeah I should be excited, but deep down I am a bit scared.
I’m 25 and Fiance is 32. I can’t stop feeling like I want to go backwards and party my face off, dance the weekends away and act like I don’t have a care in the world.
Reality is I am completing a master’s, I’m terrified to work on my thesis in case I can’t do it, and I am feeling like my Fiance and I are in a rut. Nothing terrible, just same old same old. After 7 years it seems we are too comfortable, and I keep trying to be romantic and spice things up, but he just isn’t into it. He is not romantic, and doesn’t compliment me or try at it like he used to. He is happy with the way things are, so how do I tell him I’m bored without offending him?
He knows something is up because I’ve been in a depressive state recently, and our schedules are not sinking up. I am also upset that I can’t contribute to the finances as much since my part-time job fell flat last month. I am working towards another job, but in the meantime I feel useless and dependent. And I HATE being dependent.
Sorry for being such a downer today.
Post # 3
@SillyStacey: Sorry you’re feeling anxious today!! D and I were in the same boat a couple of months ago (even before we started planning our wedding). Then I found this blog on Pinterest that gave some tips on keeping your relationships fresh. We tried a few of them and it has really made a difference. One thing we started was just communicating to each other more. After living in the same city when we never had before, things just got dull for us. Then we started telling each other what we actually wanted to do instead of waiting for the other to guess it. Another thing that helped me was just doing little things for him. D normally does dishes or cleans, so one night a week I would try to do that for him instead. Or I would let him pick out a movie to watch, even though it may not be my favorite. I hope some of these suggestions help. Keep your chin up!!!! <3
Post # 4
I am almost a year out now too, and I am in the same place as you! I read an article once on A Practical Wedding (love that site), about how culturally there are very few avenues for women to be able to “mourn” so to speak, what we are leaving behind when we choose to commit ourselves to one person forever. At every other big life transition (graduating from high school, starting/ending college, getting your first “real job”, etc.) we are told that while it is exciting to move forward, it is still OK to feel sad for all the good things you are leaving behind. I think marriage is also kind of like that- yes, we are excited to move forward in our lives, into the next stages of our relationships with men we love, but we also recognize that there are good things about our “single” life that we are leaving behind when we make this choice. Sometimes I think, at least in my opinion, I almost feel ashamed if I am not 100% happy about getting married all of the time. And when I feel sadness for things like not being able to go out dancing with my friends and flirt with guys, or the fact that I won’t ever be able to just up and move to a new city if I feel like it, I feel like I’m doing something wrong or that I’m not really ready to get married. But, when you put it into context, maybe it’s just the natural way we are supposed to feel when we are taking a big step in our lives?