(Closed) Sister In Law / Bridesmaid Issue

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JerseyBride2014:  What about inviting them out to a brunch – just you and them. And then say nothing about the wedding. Ask them about their kids/BF’s/FI’s – or lives in general.

Weddings are so stressful and you guys are about to be family.

And who knows maybe in this nonstressful situation they can get whatever off of their chests that is bothering them. Whether they think you are being unfair or ‘stealing’ their brother – whatever it is -itd be nice to get it on the table so you guys can move past it.

And if no one brings it up – maybe you can plan some time together (during the brunch) for a way to spend time with them after the wedding. This may help them to see that there is more to your relationship then just a wedding. If you are the bigger person and let this stuff go – it may give thema chance to reset and start over.

Post # 5
680 posts
Busy bee

I’m not familiar with your specific situation concerning your FSILs. How old are they? Are they super close to their brother? Are the rest of your bridesmaids YOUR friends and family?


I wouldn’t make a big deal of it at this point. They might just not feel comfortable hanging around the others if they don’t know them that well. Perhaps try to go out to lunch or something with just them as a previous poster suggested. They might feel left out of the wedding activities without you realizing it.


Have you done or said anyything that may have contributed to this rift?

Post # 7
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@JerseyBride2014:  FI’s sister and me were EXACTLY like this (we even babysat her 3 kids too!). We were friends at first. That’s why I asked her to be in the wedding. But since the engagement her attitude towards me completely changed. I do believe part of the reason why we started drifting apart was because of differences his mother and I were having and she was starting to display such childish behavior. Towards the end, I expected her not to purchase her dress and pull out of the wedding. Some people just don’t have a reason why they don’t like you but then again I think my situation is pretty much the same as yours. She only wants to fool with you when it benefits herself (His mother is exactly like this and that’s why we have our differences). I think if you go out with her to talk to her, it wouldn’t change anything. They are already talking about you behind your back. Nothing’s going to change. I tried this and she never told me why she was so distant. I hope they pull out of the wedding for your sanity. His sister waited till the end of Jan to pull out and our wedding is in April. Good luck to you.

Post # 9
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@JerseyBride2014:  At this point, how would your inlaws feel if you asked them to step down? Do your inlaws know how the ladies are behaving?

Post # 10
680 posts
Busy bee

Sometimes weddings bring out the worst in people. It might just be a bit of jealousy on their end. I would just let it go. Don’t ask them to step down or anything. That will just cause more problems and make it more of a public issue once everyone finds out that the sisters aren’t in the wedding. If you feel it is necessesary and could help the situation, ask your fiance to talk to them about what’s going on to see if maybe there’s something you’re missing or something that’s going on that needs to be cleared up. Otherwise, just let it be. There’s no use in adding fuel to the fire. 

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