(Closed) Online dating is for losers/ugly people and other stigmas……

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

I did meet my Fiance online, we both weren’t looking just having talking to people on Blackplanet. I used to get a lot of grief over the fact that we lived in different countries, was told he wasn’t real and I made him up, my mother told me I didn’t know him and you can only know a person by seeing them in person. Fiance flew to my Island in 2012 for the first time and he was exactly the same person as online. He’s my mother’s favorite person, swear she wishes he was her child instead of me lol. People are people, yes it is easier for them to be someone else online but there are ways to protect yourself when in a online relationship. Web cam dates, phone calls, and of course visiting each other, if one of you won’t do this then that’s a big flag. It’s been almost 6 years since I met Fiance online and I honestly never met someone like him before and wouldn’t change a thing if I had to do it over. 

Post # 3
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Although I met my current SO at a sci fi convention last year, before, I had used online dating.  While it never worked out, I was happy with my experience and met some really nice guys on there.  I like eHarmony best, but also tried Christian Mingle (I’m a Christian), Match, and I think maybe one other one, but it’s been a while.

 

I do not believe the stigma… well, unless you’re on a free site like Plenty of Fish or OK Cupid.  The majority of people that contacted me on those sites did not read my profile and were only looking for one thing.  I was looking for an eventual serious relationship since I want to settle down.

 

I highly recommend using a paid site.  It can get expensive, but eHarmony usually had specials and deals to lower the cost for a limited time.

 

Through my dating website experiences, I met a few guys.  One eventually became my boyfriend.  It didn’t work out because he had some problems, but that had nothing to do with how we met.  The others, were nice guys and we went on a few dates, but for whatever reason, didn’t progress into anything else.  I have nothing against the guys I dated and would not have met them otherwise.

 

I will say that my experience with online dating towards the end wasn’t as promising.  I didn’t get as many matches, and the ones I did, either never responded or were not what I was looking for.  I don’t know if it was the age range I got into (late 20s/early 30s) or if it was just the online dating pool wasn’t as high quality as it was when I was doing it in my early-mid 20s.

 

Just try it out… I think you can try eHarmony for 3 months, if you don’t want to try it out for long, just to see what happens!

 

Good luck!  🙂

Post # 4
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think online dating has the stigmas attached to it anymore. Virtually every single friend I know is dating online and having the same experiences as “traditional” dating once was- there are good, bad, crazy and fun.

Give it a chance and don’t give up if you don’t find someone great right away. Have fun and enjoy the experiences!

Post # 5
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

I tried online dating twice–both times it was a disaster (for the record the guys that showed up were both losers and ugly). But that was over 10 years ago and I think that perhaps things have changed for the better? 

Post # 6
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I met my Fiance online. I wanted to try online dating because there really wasn’t anywhere else I would meet someone. I dated a few guys in the past that I met online also. Yeah I did get a few creepers that sent me messages, but I felt I was good at feeling people out and wouldn’t pursue something that didn’t feel right. I don’t think online dating is just for losers. 

Post # 7
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Well I don’t really meet a person and generally think they’re ugly or a loser till getting to know them…

I met my Fiance online. He was the first person I met in person. However, I talked to several other very nice men as well. I was messaged by some men whom would be considered very attractive by most standards but some were also rather flaky. I was messaged by a lot of single fathers whom seemed to be pretty awesome people but just not something I was looking for at this point in my life. I was messaged by some people whom were into certain life habits I wasn’t into but they could of very well been nice people (Smoking, alcohol often, etc). I had met some other awesome guys but ultimately decided to put more focus on getting to know my Fiance because the connection I found with him was stronger. 

There were some creepy people trying to ask for inappropriate things or making gross comments but they were promptly blocked.

I went into it with an open mind and not desperate to find anything…just figured good if I found someone I clicked with or oh well if I didn’t. I had other current life goals I was working on to put my focus on. I didn’t have a lot of outlets to meet others while busy with work/school. I imagine that’s true for a lot of people for various reasons.

I think online can be beneficial for many. You just have to go into it knowing what you want and taking the time (however long) to let it come to you.

Post # 8
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

What a bunch of crap, online dating is not for losers!  online dating is the best!   It’s for busy people who have no time for getting wasted in a bar. You can prescreen potential candidates based on their personalities,  and unceremoniously remove the bad ones.  I met my Darling Husband on Yahoo personals. 

Post # 9
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I met my Fiance online. To me, it was just another place to meet someone. I had a few bad experiences with online dating before but MANY MORE bad dates from people I met in bars, though friends, etc. I think it’s worth a shot and do not let stigma and other people’s opinions stop you from meeting someone awesome. Be safe and good luck OP!

Post # 10
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s extremely common now to meet someone online.   i met Fiance online a few years ago and I know some of my very attractive girlfriends are on there as well.   I’d recommend a paid site like match or eharmony. My girlfriend was on OK Cupid and found a loser ex of mine on there. I met him at a bar and dumped him after 3 months. Now he trolling POF with his shirtless selfies and lies.  one of many reasons to avoid tinder and plenty of fish.

Post # 11
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We met online. Just be prepared to weed through the crap. Unfortunately, being a woman on an online dating service means that (unless it’s eHarmony or something similar), you’ll get a lot of messages from guys who don’t actually read your profile and just see a woman in their general vicinity.

Post # 12
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

My Fiance and I met online. I was the only woman Fiance met IRL but I used a few different sites on and off for years. I met some very attractive, desirable, interesting people. I think online dating is like any other kind of dating in the sense that if you’re a desirable and confident person, you should be able to find other desirable and confident people. Not every date was stellar, but that’s what first dates are for – to see if this is someone you hit it off with.

We are both reasonably attractive people with good personalities and professional jobs. We just weren’t meeting anyone we wanted to date in our day to day lives.

 

Post # 13
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

footprints:  I think online dating has really changed in the past few years. I don’t think there’s a stigma at all and that’s it’s very common to do and meet a SO on. 

I didn’t meet my husband online but I did do online dating before I met him. Almost all of my single friends have done it/are currently doing it, as well as a lot of my DH’s friends. 

Post # 14
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

LOL!  You are adorable.

 

I live in a large urban area, and got married in my mid-30’s, so I did a LOT of dating before getting married.  I met guys everywhere – at clubs I was part of, through friends, through being set up, and yes, online.  And I have to say – the men I met online always turned out to be a better match for me than the ones I met through my social circles.

Of course, you have to have your wits about you … take some time to message with them online before you meet in person, meet in person in a public place, etc – because you won’t have a sense of how they are before you meet them in person, there is definitely the possibility of going on a few dates that are “duds” – dates you never would have agreed to if you’d seen the person when you asked – but (depending on where you live) you might meet a lot of interesting people.

 

I’d try all the different websites – you’ll learn that they all attract different types of people, and you’ll get a sense of which one you groove with…

 

And yes – Darling Husband and I did meet online :).  And he’s AMAZING 🙂

Post # 15
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My past experience with online dating can be summed up in to two types of guys:

1. guys who wanted to marry me immediately

2. guys who wanted in my pants immediately

I found no middle ground and cyber-ran like hell from that “Fishy” site. I do know friends who have been in successful, long-term relationships from online dating, but they’re ALWAYS from a pay site, where people seem to be much more serious about the concept. 

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