Post # 46
OKCupid over here. I dated a LOT of frogs before my husband. And I mean a LOT. Be prepared to go on a lot of first dates. Coffee dates are perfect because you can easily move on to lunch or dinner but you can also bolt out of there if it’s not going well.
Post # 47
I think like with all things it’s a numbers game and it really helps if you have mutual friends. If you are living in a large city that can happen quite a bit. I went out with probably 30 guys before I met my husband – I met him on Coffee Meets Bagel app and he’s great, seroius and always was from the start.
Post # 48
I met my husband on Match!
I agree with what some others have said, the paid sites are usually better. I previously had dated a guy for 8 months from OKcupid until I learned he was still using the site daily lol.
I think online dating just opens up a lot more options to meet people you wouldn’t come across otherwise. You are exposed to way more men in general—both good and bad. Just gotta weed through the bad ones, but I do believe there are good men on those sites.
On my Match profile I had stated in my “about me” that I was looking for a serious relationship. I think that honesty scared away a lot of shitty guys from contacting me. My husband deleted his account the day after meeting me :).
My best friend just married a man she met on Okcupid, so some people do have luck on that one, as well. Good luck!
Post # 49
we met on POF in May 2012. Engaged in May 2015. Married June 2017. 🙂
Post # 50
I met my DH online. It wasn’t a dating site though. However it I know of at least 2 other married couples that met on there. Lol it was Gaia Online.
Post # 51
Dh and I met online waaayyyy back in 2003. Things were quite primitive back in those days. We didn’t have phone apps and communication was either via phone or sitting in front of your computer.
I lived out in the sticks at the time, by design. The local dating pool was limited and unemployed handymen in need of dentistry.
I had just left my abusive ex and didn’t want to isolate myself. My goals were to meet new people and go some nice places. I’d had fun with it before, so I expected the best.
I met someone right away who turned into a very good friend. He was just what I needed in my life—a supportive companion with a great sense of humor. He was hoping we’d become a couple, but respected my feelings.
Enter future Dh. It was great fun spending time with each one, they both filled different roles.
Dh courted me, in a most old fashioned, respectful way. It was a balm to my soul. In any case, it was eight months before we crashed the platonic barrier.
Online dating was huge fun for me. Kind of the kid in the candy store thing.
Post # 52
I met my Fiance on PlentyofFish a couple years ago. After purposely being single for a year after a horrible failed relationship with a long-time friend, I decided to try online dating as a last-ditch effort to prove to myself that the good ones were indeed gone. I went on a few dates with ok guys, but nothing I was interested in. Thankfully I only had one weird date where the guy couldn’t stop giggling! Seriously! Giggled on and off for the entire date! I think he was nervous.
I was about to give up but my now Fiance messaged me. He wasn’t at all my “type”, but I thought he was cute and his profile didn’t give me any red flags. He was about to give up online dating, but decided to message “one last woman” which was me! And the rest is history…I found my unicorn!
Just be picky and really really read their profiles. You can usually spot the douchebags fairly easily. Recognize the red flags! And don’t write off the ones that aren’t your typical type!
Post # 53
I did Bumble and Tinder and some other app I can’t recall for about a year. I found the highest quality guys were on Bumble.
I actually met my Fiance at work and crushed on him hard, but didn’t know how to make the move without turning it into a totally awkward situation. He was clueless and had no idea I was subtly trying to flirt with him. Thankfully, he joined Bumble and we both swiped right. 🙂 So, even though we knew each other in real life, we probably wouldn’t have gotten together had it not been for Bumble!
Post # 54
Agree with pp saying it’s just a numbers game. You have to accept that going in, and keep your emotions out of it.
I took this approach when I found myself single again at 30. I knew I wanted marriage and kids so I started filtering guys from the first date so that I didn’t waste my time with anyone wishy washy about what they wanted.
I spent about a year of self-improvement going on first (and sometimes second and third) dates with guys off Hinge and Tinder. Nothing lasted longer than a handful of dates because my standards by that point were sky high and I was on high alert for red flags.
I met Fiance via Tinder 11/2015, we were engaged 7/2017, will be married some time Summer 2018.
Post # 55
Met DH on Match 3 years ago. You do have to be patient and trust me, there are a lot of creepy guys to weed through. Especially when you first join and guys see there’s a new girl to message, your inbox will be full of messages from guys who do not want what you want (ie, you made it clear you’re there for a serious relationship, guys are messaging you for hookups). Hang in there, and you just may find the one 🙂 I joined Match because I had no idea how I was actually going to meet a guy in real life. I kept hoping one day it would just happen as we both reached for the same carton of milk in the grocery store – haha – but it never did. Match to the rescue!
Post # 57
Just got married on Saturday. We met on okcupid. I was not looking for a serious relationship at the time. Haha, oops.
Post # 58
I met DH on eHarmony. All the guys I met on eHarmony who had paid for membership (i.e., that I “met” on any day other than free weekends) seemed to be interested in relationships rather than hookups. I highly recommend eH!
Post # 59
Its been over ten years since I internet dated but I found all the guys I met up with/chatted to were decent fellows. They were looking for long term too and not casual hook ups. I was very selective as to whom I met with/talked to though. I used a paid site that had the appearance of being a site geared to finding long term love. Other sites seemed to give the vibe of hook ups only.
The first guy I went on two dates with was nice but not for me. Next I chatted to a guy who worked on the mines as a engineer. He was away for six weeks on site. He was nice too. We never met up in the end because I ended up finding my husband on the same site. This guy actually ended up marrying a family friend who was on the site at same time. Me and my husband went to their wedding just over a year later!
I know of three other couples who met on this dating site at the around the same time as me and hubby were. We are all still together and seem fairly happy ten years later!!
I think dating sites do work and are an efficient way of putting you in contact with like minded individuals that you would not normally meet. I’m a try it out kind of person who tends to believe in nothing ventured nothing gained. I also think its important to be selective in who you decide to meet and what sites you use. Tinder is great but it’s predominantly a hook up site. If you are looking for long term try a paid site geared to long term relationships.
I also think its important to lay your cards on the table early in a relationship. (Not creepy/stalker early though 😂) You see so many bees post that they are three years in and have only started talking marriage only to find that their boyfriend isn’t on the same page. You are better getting it all out in the open early. If they run then you never really had them anyway. I think its better to find out early than to waste everybody’s time. Dating is a numbers game but its also about being intelligent about how you deal with situations and being selective with whom you choose to invest time in. You can love lots of people but being compatible and having the same core values is what makes for an enduring relationship.
Good luck OP
Post # 60
Met mine on Match, so did a friend that is getting married in December, and I have another friend that met her husband on eHarmony about 7-8 years ago! Just be patient and plan to go on a lot of first dates. 🙂