Post # 16
Fiance and I talked on OkCupid for roughly 3 messages each, including the messages we used to coordinate meeting up.
We dated for roughly a week when he told me he knew I said I was only looking for casual stuff, but he really wanted to try out just him and me. I said ok, told the other guys to scram and.. that’s that.
Post # 17
Oh, and he old me he deleted his account. THAT’S key.
Post # 18
We don’t really do the exclusivity / are you my boyfriend thing in the UK. Not in my age group anyway. Here, if you’ve got pissed and exchanged tongues more than 3 times he’s your boyfriend (facetious, but you get my point)
But my husband told me that he deleted his profile after a week, if that’s what you mean.
Post # 19
- Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion
mohbestie: I think we became officially exclusive about three months after the first date, but we were exclusive in practice pretty much right away. I was 34 and he was 39. We met on Tinder and slept together on the third date. I did not mean to bring up the topic of exclusivity as soon as I did (I think it was about two weeks after sleeping together for the first time… maybe about a month the first date), but I’d had a couple of drinks and I was staying with him in a hotel for a couple of days. I don’t even remember exactly what I said, but I immediately regretted bringing it up. He said that he wasn’t seeing anyone else and wasn’t planning to but wasn’t ready to commit to not seeing anyone else, which seemed pretty reasonable. We still had our Tinders, but I know I didn’t use mine after he and I started sleeping together. I think he might have gone out on one other date, and he told me about it (they went to lunch). We had the same conversation about not being ready to commit to not seeing anyone else even though he was not about a month later. He said, “I know I will be ready in about a month.” The last time we talked about it, I think I brought it up in the context of going on the Pill. (Romantic, I know.) He said he was ready to be BF/GF; I went on the Pill; and we ceremoniously deleted our Tinder profiles together. Good luck!
Post # 20
Just ask! I waited a few months with two different ppl to ask and that was the end of both “relationships”. lol. I would have rather known sooner they were just looking to casually date me. someone who gets scared away by you asking “what are we” is not who you want to waste time on!
Post # 21
We didn’t meet online (actually met by randomly striking up conversation while walking down the street!), but we both did have online dating profiles and had been sporadically dating other people.
After about 2 weeks I told him in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t interested in dating multiple people at once; he agreed but it took him a few more weeks to delete his profile. I think it’s definitely something you need to bring up as soon as possible to avoid getting hurt if you have different priorities.
Post # 22
JazzyGirl85: lol I will ask. We’ve only gone out about 6 times. I’ll probably bring it up on Saturday, especially if he shows up with an overnight bag.
Post # 23
Well it really just depends on you both and how you choose to go with things.
My Fiance and I saw each other for 2 weeks I believe before we made it official. We were together a year before I moved in with him. We’ll be married after two years and some months.
Im a no nonsense sort of person when it comes to dating. I don’t like doing the whole song and dance for us to not mesh well. With my Fiance, it was just natural. We talked about anything and everything…where we were born, what our families were like, favorite foods…
I cut into the serious topics first (one being on our first date). I was a virgin and so I straight up said that if he was looking for relationships where that may be a possibility in the near future then we weren’t going to work out or if he just was opposed to seeing a virgin too (some guys are). I flat out said I wasn’t going to ever give myself a time limit (3 months, 1 year, marriage) and I wouldn’t stand for being pressured because it would be when it was right but full disclosure. He said that was fine and then the door was open for serious topics. So, throughout our year dating from there it was any topic was open (kids, marriage, talking about sex, etc).
Two days before we made it official, we were laying around his apartment before fireworks were supposed to start and he asked something like what I felt about us..and I said it feels like we’re official. He of course said I had to wait and not just yet in a panicked way lol. Two days later he planned a cute way to ask me to be his girlfriend.
So, that’s just how we work. I can’t say how things will go for you. However, if the person is worth it and right, nothing you try to talk to them about should affect the possibility of something serious continuing. So talk about what you want or ask for where you stand when you want. Good luck!
Post # 24
mohbestie: When I began talking to my fiance, we talked for two weeks before we actually went out. We went on 5 dates before he asked me to be his official girlfriend. That night we both deleted our profiles and the rest is history. 🙂
If you are unsure after an amount of time, just ask where you guys stand.
Post # 25
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
After 2 months of dating.
Post # 26
I had been talking to my S/O for months before we even had our first real date. I was living in another city and actually quasi-dating another guy. S/O was just the friendly guy I chatted with about great things about my hometown. I met up with S/O in the fall of 2014 and moved home the very beginning of 2015. I called him to let him know I had moved to town, met up for drinks a few days later and the rest was history. I mentioned a few weeks into dating I was going to delete my profile which I think he really appreciated. It was my way of telling him where I stood without pressuring him into “the talk.” Actions sometimes speak way more than words. He deleted his the next day. 😉 A year and a bit later we now live together and working on next steps, slowly but surely. I think you know deep down where you stand usually.
Post # 27
I think you’re on the right track with the overnight stay being a key basis for conversation. As a PP said, I don’t sleep with them until I know they’re not sleeping with or seeing anyone else. My SO and I met online and I when I brought it up, he seemed shocked that I asked…he just assumed that was the case from day one!
Post # 28
- Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church
My fiance and I emailed for three months before we ever met in real life. Then we screwed around for a couple months before we decided to become “official.”
Post # 29
I met my husband online and my prior big relationship was from online as well.
In the case of the prior ex, we chatted for 3 or so weeks online before we met. (busy people, i was traveling during that time). I wish we had a real ‘we’re official’ conversation. We never did, we never deleted anything online profile wise. We were facebook official about 2 months in, which mattered to him. I never looked at my dating profile again until our relationship started imploding 6-7 months in and I got a bad gut feeling. He was still active, updating his profile, the whole nine yards. Don’t know if he ever cheated, but he sure was getting ready for his “next” thing. I suppose we should have removed our profiles, but I think with that guy there was just no changing the outcome and he would have made a new one even if we’d deleted ours. Young, immature, didn’t want to be tied down.
With my now husband, we chatted for only about a week, made a date, made another date, and then got off the online site (didn’t remove our profiles – for all I know they are still on there 5 years later inactive, frozen in time). We had a conversation about exclusivity about 2 months in. I am a monogomous person, so I wouldn’t have slept with him had we not had a conversation (and a clear one that I never had with my ex) but we didn’t rush into that either.
Best of luck!
Post # 30
mohbestie: We “met” online and exchanged messages daily for a couple weeks during which I was dating another person (nonexclusively, obviously). I broke it off with the other guy for other reasons before my first date with Darling Husband. DH and I moved pretty quickly though. After 5 dates I realized HE thought we were serious but hadn’t like asked me to be exclusive or anything. So I brought it up and we were exclusive after like 6 weeks (though neither of us were dating anyone else before that either) and at that point disabled our accounts. We were seing each other about once a week for 2 months… after that it was more like I’d spend the weekend and leave Monday. But by 3.5 months I was basically moved in. For reference- I was 34 and he was 42 and we knew from the start this was it for us.