(Closed) Online RSVP – tacky or ok?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: RSVP online only ok?
    Yes, I prefer to not mail something back : (54 votes)
    48 %
    I wouldn't think anything of it : (40 votes)
    35 %
    Tacky - send a response card! : (19 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 16
    1450 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

    I’m doing like some PPs and using response cards for people over 50, online only for everyone else. If anyone thinks it’s “tacky,” I couldn’t give a fart in a high wind.

    Post # 17
    3611 posts
    Sugar bee

    Not tacky, IMO – convenient and technologically savvy. We are doing traditional response cards but are thinking of adding the option to RSVP online.

    Post # 18
    9595 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I don’t think it’s tacky but it is definitely more casual. I wouldn’t do it for a black tie event. 

    Post # 19
    3169 posts
    Sugar bee

    Because we wanted to set a formal(ish) tone we are doing cards and online for all guests. We will only provide a stamped card for VIPs 

    Post # 20
    1692 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you want to be truly traditional and truly formal, you make sure your return address is prominently displayed on your envelope, forego the reply card and its accompanying stamp and envelope, and expect your guests to dig out their own engraved stationery and write “Miss Aspasia Phipps / accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of / Miss Alee Eightyeight / to her marriage / on &tc” in impeccable script with black india ink. In comparison to that truly formal standard, it’s the reply cards that are “tacky”. Since people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, I should think therefore that you would be safe from any accusations of tackiness.

    It really isn’t a hostess’s job to decide how her guests should respond. Etiquette advises guests to respond in the same form as the invitation — a written reply for a written (or engraved) invitation, a phonecall for a phonecall, and by extension email for email, text for text, and e-rsvp for e-vite. If you have a great-aunt who absolutely insists that things be done properly, nothing stops her from writing you that lovely hand-written note, and you’ll just have to figure out how to update your web record-keeping based on the mail you receive. Any guest who tries to school you that you ought to have done things differently, is missing the etiquette boat in the first place, and so can be safely ignored.


    Post # 21
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I’m planning on doing what others have mentioned: having the younger and more internet savy crowd RSVP online, and printing a few response cards for older or more old fashioned people.

    Post # 22
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    We still haven’t sent out invitations, but we’ll probably do online RSVPs. Most everyone we’re inviting, including older guests/grandparents, knows enough about the internet to go online and RSVP. And those very few who might prefer not to RSVP online can call us.

    Post # 23
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I don’t think it’s tacky, as long as it’s easy for guests. For one friend’s wedding the online RSVP was through their wedding website, and it required a code of some sort for guests to log in and RSVP. That would be fine, except the code was missing from the invites so when we tried to RSVP it didn’t work. I think as long as you include all the necessary RSVP info when you send the invitations it will be fine. And no matter how you do RSVPs, you will end up chasing down some replies. 

    Post # 24
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Magnolia House

     I am doing both. I am sending rsvp cards with the invites but I am adding an insert that gives them my wedding website so they can rsvp online if they would rather.

    Post # 25
    1688 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    We’re doing online only. There are only four elderly guests who I’d be concerned about getting them from, but we already know that they’re all coming so it doesn’t matter.

    The topic ‘Online RSVP – tacky or ok?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors