(Closed) Only 1/2 my RSVPs are Back! And A Lot Less Guests Coming then Thought. HELP.

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honey please keep in mind it is about you and you Fiance it is your day. It is about the marriage not about the wedding. I just recently learned this once I had my 100 day melt down. As long as you have the most important people there that are wishing you and your Fiance the best that is all that matters. You will look back and be happy you were able to have such an intimate time with family and loved ones. Do not fret you still have afew days. And in any case no matter what you will have to call people. Dont get yourself upset. This is the most happiest time for you and your Fiance. Enjoy it

Post # 4
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think that is a good number, I wouldn’t be surprised if you a lot more people coming. A lot of bees on here, complain about the last minute guest telling them they are coming, or having to chase people down only to get told are you nuts of course I’m coming to your wedding. So I am anticipated that I have to do the same! I say make a list, and start emailing and calling to folks to remind them that their rsvps are due, or to mark down their rsvps. I swear even folks who have smaller weddings have to deal with this. Good luck!

Post # 5
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

There is probably more coming than RSVP. That’s what I am finding out as I am calling people. I was getting a lot of declines back…and I’m sure this is because we are getting married 2 days after the 4th of July. Many people are out of town or at family reunions. I was stressing so hard about it until I realized what YOUR Fiance is trying to tell YOU: The people that are most important to you are going to be the ones that can celebrate your big day with you. Once you accept that, you will be way less stressed. Your wedding is suppose to be an intimiate event among family and friends that love you.

Post # 6
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Not sure about the lady who has to stay with her cat, but… when I get invited to something I know off the bat I can’t attend, I check the “no” box right away and get that thing mailed. If I know right off the bat that I AM attending (like if I’m a bridesmaid, ha!), then I check the “yes” box and mail right away.

If it’s one where I have to check with my fiance about the date, maybe reschedule some things, consider travel/lodging/pet care, all that – well, I’m not going to RSVP at ALL until I have an answer. I think your guests who were definite yes or no right off the bat are your first round you’ve received; others may be trying to work out details for themselves and that’s why they are later. 


Post # 7
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well for starters 80 is a GREAT number….. but I am sure you will end up with more than that.  Memorial Weekend is tough – some people plan trips or vacations around that time – especially since they have the long weekend from school and/or work.  Also, do you have a lot of people who are required to travel to attend your wedding?  If you do, that may have something to do with it.  Traveling is always more expensive around holidays and with the economy still not being fantastic, that may come in to play.  But if you’re at 80 so far, I think that’s a pretty good number to be at as it is!  🙂 

Post # 8
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Memorial weekend can be a busy weekend for people, so they may already have longstanding plans.

When is your response deadline?  MANY guests wait until the last possible day to send in their cards, so there may be more attending.

Post # 10
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@robsgirl1:  I’m getting married a couple weeks after you. We mailed our invitations in February and our RSVP deadline was April 15th. We contacted anyone who hadn’t responded by the RSVP deadline to see if they were coming. Most of the people who hadn’t RSVP’d were planning to attend but had forgotten to respond in time. Most of them were apologetic for not responding but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating! We even gave them an option to reply online if they didn’t want to mail the card back.

I would wait till a couple days past your RSVP deadline and then start contacting people. I bet a lot of people just haven’t got around to replying. Luckily a lot of our guests are on facebook so we just sent them a quick message to ask them if they were coming. It’s a lot quicker than making a ton of phone calls!

Post # 11
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We invited a total of 180, ended with 130 yes, but then in the last 3 days prior found out 20 would not be making it. day of had a few more now show for one reason or another and had a couple that were no’s call to see if they could change it.

We ended up with 104 total and it was PERFECT!!! Total of 8 from out of state and 6 from out of town, everyone else was local.

Post # 13
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

however many people end up at your wedding will be the perfect size 🙂 try not to stress about it!

Post # 14
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@robsgirl1:  We invited 185 people and 130 said they are coming. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if only 80 were attending. We were hoping to keep it smaller and never expected that many people to say yes…

I also wouldn’t assume that because someone hasn’t RSVP’d that they aren’t coming. I would start contacting them a day or two after your RSVP deadline, seriously. As I said in my previous post, we provided an online option for people to RSVP in addition to the RSVP card and many of them STILL didn’t make the deadline. I had to call people and my mom called some of my relatives after the deadline to see if they were coming. People just get busy and forget to respond. It’s annoying but it happens.

Post # 16
48 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

We only had 50% of the RSVP’s reply on time. Then we emailed and called and texted everyone and we are still missing a few. I put a note on our website in the RSVP section that says “The deadline to RSVP has passed, please contact the bride or groom to see if there is a seat for you” This way they know they have to contact us if they are planning to come.

We also sent out save the dates 4 mos. ahead of time. I feel that if people want to come they will find a way, if not they will be “looking for a babysitter” only 2 weeks out, even if they received a Save the Date.


Good luck to you! I’m in the middle of it right now and feel your pain. 

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