Post # 1
Okay….I sent out 91 invitations so around 180 invites. Many are out of state relatives so I knew right off the bat around 20-25 invites would say no. I gave May 4th as the deadline and only around 45 are back so far. Is this normal?
Also I only have around 80 so far coming to the wedding AND that includes the wedding party of 12, including me and my Fiance. I am getting a bit sad about this. I guess I was hoping for more to come. Fiance says who cares…the important people that care about us will be there. But just feel all this work and time and money and now no one is coming! Even one close family friend of 25 years said she can’t come because she has to stay home to take care of her cat! SERIOUSLY??? Did we make a mistake having the wedding on Memorial WEekend? A few people are going out of town BUT we sent STD cards 6 months ahead of time.
Just sad. What are your experiences with the RSVP cards AND having a large or small wedding. Thanks.
Post # 3
Honey please keep in mind it is about you and you Fiance it is your day. It is about the marriage not about the wedding. I just recently learned this once I had my 100 day melt down. As long as you have the most important people there that are wishing you and your Fiance the best that is all that matters. You will look back and be happy you were able to have such an intimate time with family and loved ones. Do not fret you still have afew days. And in any case no matter what you will have to call people. Dont get yourself upset. This is the most happiest time for you and your Fiance. Enjoy it
Post # 4
I think that is a good number, I wouldn’t be surprised if you a lot more people coming. A lot of bees on here, complain about the last minute guest telling them they are coming, or having to chase people down only to get told are you nuts of course I’m coming to your wedding. So I am anticipated that I have to do the same! I say make a list, and start emailing and calling to folks to remind them that their rsvps are due, or to mark down their rsvps. I swear even folks who have smaller weddings have to deal with this. Good luck!
Post # 5
There is probably more coming than RSVP. That’s what I am finding out as I am calling people. I was getting a lot of declines back…and I’m sure this is because we are getting married 2 days after the 4th of July. Many people are out of town or at family reunions. I was stressing so hard about it until I realized what YOUR Fiance is trying to tell YOU: The people that are most important to you are going to be the ones that can celebrate your big day with you. Once you accept that, you will be way less stressed. Your wedding is suppose to be an intimiate event among family and friends that love you.
Post # 6
Not sure about the lady who has to stay with her cat, but… when I get invited to something I know off the bat I can’t attend, I check the “no” box right away and get that thing mailed. If I know right off the bat that I AM attending (like if I’m a bridesmaid, ha!), then I check the “yes” box and mail right away.
If it’s one where I have to check with my fiance about the date, maybe reschedule some things, consider travel/lodging/pet care, all that – well, I’m not going to RSVP at ALL until I have an answer. I think your guests who were definite yes or no right off the bat are your first round you’ve received; others may be trying to work out details for themselves and that’s why they are later.
Post # 7
Well for starters 80 is a GREAT number….. but I am sure you will end up with more than that. Memorial Weekend is tough – some people plan trips or vacations around that time – especially since they have the long weekend from school and/or work. Also, do you have a lot of people who are required to travel to attend your wedding? If you do, that may have something to do with it. Traveling is always more expensive around holidays and with the economy still not being fantastic, that may come in to play. But if you’re at 80 so far, I think that’s a pretty good number to be at as it is! 🙂
Post # 8
Memorial weekend can be a busy weekend for people, so they may already have longstanding plans.
When is your response deadline? MANY guests wait until the last possible day to send in their cards, so there may be more attending.
Post # 9
@futuremrsfitz18: May 4th is our deadline. And yes we do have a lot from out of state which we knew could not make it. But some are here in town and have no plans and still say no and are really good friends. Just odd. And yeah we did weigh that about being Memorial weekend and people having plans and figured it could be good or bad – especially for out of towners. It would give them the extra day to travel.
I guess either way like people are saying….if they really want to be there they would be. They knew about this months ago. So I shouldn’t stress. Even 80 people is a nice amount
Post # 10
@robsgirl1: I’m getting married a couple weeks after you. We mailed our invitations in February and our RSVP deadline was April 15th. We contacted anyone who hadn’t responded by the RSVP deadline to see if they were coming. Most of the people who hadn’t RSVP’d were planning to attend but had forgotten to respond in time. Most of them were apologetic for not responding but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating! We even gave them an option to reply online if they didn’t want to mail the card back.
I would wait till a couple days past your RSVP deadline and then start contacting people. I bet a lot of people just haven’t got around to replying. Luckily a lot of our guests are on facebook so we just sent them a quick message to ask them if they were coming. It’s a lot quicker than making a ton of phone calls!
Post # 11
We invited a total of 180, ended with 130 yes, but then in the last 3 days prior found out 20 would not be making it. day of had a few more now show for one reason or another and had a couple that were no’s call to see if they could change it.
We ended up with 104 total and it was PERFECT!!! Total of 8 from out of state and 6 from out of town, everyone else was local.
Post # 12
BUMP…..Now I have about 86 coming out of 180 I invited. Is that a good size??
Post # 13
however many people end up at your wedding will be the perfect size 🙂 try not to stress about it!
Post # 14
@robsgirl1: We invited 185 people and 130 said they are coming. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if only 80 were attending. We were hoping to keep it smaller and never expected that many people to say yes…
I also wouldn’t assume that because someone hasn’t RSVP’d that they aren’t coming. I would start contacting them a day or two after your RSVP deadline, seriously. As I said in my previous post, we provided an online option for people to RSVP in addition to the RSVP card and many of them STILL didn’t make the deadline. I had to call people and my mom called some of my relatives after the deadline to see if they were coming. People just get busy and forget to respond. It’s annoying but it happens.
Post # 15
@As_You_Wish: Ok thanks. Trying to calm down a bit (and many of these people not replying are close friends and family!). It’s like you spend so much time, money and effort in planning and sending invites and give them so much time to send them back and they don’t. I don’t get it but I guess that is the nature of the beast!
Post # 16
We only had 50% of the RSVP’s reply on time. Then we emailed and called and texted everyone and we are still missing a few. I put a note on our website in the RSVP section that says “The deadline to RSVP has passed, please contact the bride or groom to see if there is a seat for you” This way they know they have to contact us if they are planning to come.
We also sent out save the dates 4 mos. ahead of time. I feel that if people want to come they will find a way, if not they will be “looking for a babysitter” only 2 weeks out, even if they received a Save the Date.
Good luck to you! I’m in the middle of it right now and feel your pain.