(Closed) Only 3 more years…..

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee

Aww, I’m sorry—that is pretty rough. What if you approached this from a different angle, and rather than becoming defiant with your Future Mother-In-Law, what if you told her that it hurts your feelings when she says that? If you took a soft approach, she may feel badly and change her behavior, rather than persisting to convince you that “you don’t know him!” You could even be honest and tell her that you would never want to intentionally piss off your Fiance, and maybe she has some advice? I think if you ‘side’ with her to some extent (make it clear that you are two women who love the same guy), she may stop fighting you.

Post # 4
3305 posts
Sugar bee

Ignore her, I swear some mothers get kooky when they realize that their son isn’t their little boy any more.

Post # 5
7519 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just reply “Oh I KNOW him, in a way you don’t know him!” *wink *wink

Post # 7
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@eeniebeans:  lol. I dare ya to say this!

Post # 9
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You know that’s not going to get better once you’re married, right? That MILs like that will just redirect their criticisms to some other aspect of your relationship?

Post # 10
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@alyssaC:  Weddings and children tend to bring out the family drama, so I wouldnt hold my breath on her cutting this out over the next 3 years.  If your fiance is going to make the commitment of marrying you, he needs to step up and tell her to knock it off.  OR you can also have a conversation with her about it yourself.  Either way, he needs to be on board and support you.  If you choose to talk to her about it I would recommend approaching it like this – “MIL, I care about your son and therefore care about our relationship.  To be honest, it really hurts my feelings when you say (insert not-so-nice comment here).”  See what she has to say. 

To be honest, this happens a lot… mothers can often times resent their children and their children’s spouses when they fly to coop, get married, have children, etc… to a mom it’s like her baby doesn’t need her anymore, she’s not the most important woman in his life, etc.  It doesn’t make it right, but if you can at least get an idea of WHY she’s acting the way she is, it may make it easier to get over it.

Good luck.

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