(Closed) Only 3 RVSPs & my wedding is in August, should I be worried?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If you were invited to an out-of-state wedding in August, would you know if you were going by now?

    Yes, I would have decided either way if I would be attending by this time.

    No, I would still be considering it and looking at travel options.

    If I were going to attend I'd have my flight booked by now.

    If I were not going to attend I'd have sent back a decline by now.

  • Post # 47
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Sorry I didn’t see your last reply as I was responding. Yes, I would know by now, but I’m not sure how often I’d talk about it.

    Post # 49
    67 posts
    Worker bee

    @BrieBrieGorGor:  I’d still give your friends and family until the RSVP deadline, and then track them down.  As others have already mentioned, since you sent out the invites very early, they may not have their plans finalized just yet.  They have 3 months until the actual wedding and 1 or 2 months until the RSVP deadline.

    I’m in a wedding in October in Tulsa, and the vast majority of the ~200 people invited to that wedding are from the East Coast /South and those invitations haven’t gone out yet!  They won’t go out until August at the earliest.

    I just think you are being a little OCD, probably because you are excited to get married and nervous no one will come.  Very common among brides, I’m sure.

    Just give them a little more time- I’m sure they will respond and come 🙂

    Post # 50
    2152 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @BrieBrieGorGor:  Unfotunately, you have contributed to this situation by sending out your invitations too early. 

    Invitations should go out no sooner then 8 weeks before your event.  Unfortunately, since you sent them out so early, guest will more then likely have either lost/thrown it out, or have put it away and completely forgotten about it.

    I would never even be considering booking travel at this point.  The best deals are very often last minute tickets. 

    Hopefully, your guests reply by the deadline.  But I suspect that you are going to have to do a lot of follow up.

    Post # 51
    392 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Honestly, I would have forgot about RSVP’ing. Nothing wrong with sending out early (we are doing 5 months in advance for a DW) but the long period between receiving and needing an RSVP may mean some forgetful people (like me!) who were waiting may have forgot to respond. 


    Post # 52
    1606 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m one of those people that hoards invites for a long time if I get them super early.  I keep thinking “Oh, I have plenty of time to send this back!”.  So, I wouldn’t worry too much, yet. You’re still 3 months out.

    Post # 53
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My brother had a Destination Wedding wedding with only 28 guests, so I get it. But I dunno, that’s what RSVPs are for.

    My BFF WOULD do that and I’d be annoyed, but knowning the way she is I try to RSVP to her parties right away to be honest. She is my BFF after all.

    I guess it can’t hurt to bring it up casually.

    Post # 54
    47 posts
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @BrieBrieGorGor:  Yes, we told them that we intend on coming! (Have everything booked except for a flight – waiting for a better price/deal)

    I work in event planning (non weddings) and a surprising amount of people tend to RSVP at the 11th hour (aka the late minute… or not at all). Don’t worry!

    It is also perfectly acceptable to check in with close friends/family to see a)how their travel plans are going b) if they need assistance c)to get an idea if they intend on coming. Since it is a long distance to travel, it might be nice to have some sort of follow up after sending invites.


    Post # 55
    1047 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @BrieBrieGorGor:  I can understand sending out the invites early b/c so many are Out of Town. I do think you might have sent them out too early and some people (like ME) are busy and not thinking about your wedding every single day. I personally would be afraid I’d forget to make travel arrangements.

    Since you said that you are close enough to these people to contact them w/o it being weird, I’d pick a date (not today but closer to the RSVP deadline) and “remind” them of the final date to RSVP. That way those people that forgot can start making arrangements instead of you waiting until the deadline, contacting them, and them trying to scramble last minute to get flights/hotel.


    Post # 57
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I agree that it’s too early to worry and to follow up with people. 

    I’m a huge fan of save-the-dates because, like the OP, I want to know more than 8 weeks in advance if I’m invited to a wedding for which I have to travel.  Even if I don’t have to travel, I like to know as soon as possible when the wedding will be held so I don’t make other plans.  I don’t understand why people can’t commit to attend to a wedding before the last minute.  If you’re close enough to the people getting married, aren’t facing financial issues that will affect whether you attend, and don’t have some other important scheduling concern, then the wedding takes priority over most other social engagements.  This isn’t just some casual party; it’s a significant life event.  If you’re waiting to see if any better invitations come along before you RSVP, then save the bride and groom the cost of your plate and decline.

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