(Closed) Only a card??? Really!

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Is a card a sufficient gift to give a couple for their wedding?
    Yes, a card is fine. Its your presence and the thought that truly matter : (210 votes)
    77 %
    No, a card is not fine. Add a washcloth or loaf pan...something is better than nothing : (30 votes)
    11 %
    No, a card and a washcloth is an insult. Buy at least a $20 gift or don't go!!! : (34 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    3783 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would hate if someone missed my wedding just because they couldn’t bring a gift. You also have up to a year after to send a gift, technically, so you can always send one later if you wanted to.

    Post # 4
    1527 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think a card is good enough. We didn’t even get cards from most of our friends, but it isn’t like we’re not going to be friends with them anymore lol. They were there, they supported us, and that’s what we’re thankful for.

    Post # 5
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    A card is good enough! People don’t invite guests to get gifts, they intive them because they want them there to celebrate! Don’t feel bad; lots of people are going through hard times.

    Post # 6
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @hollyberry4:  —> THIS

    I voted for # 1 in YOUR POLL, although it really doesn’t fit the situation you find yourself in and what is or isn’t proper etiquette, or more importantly it seems to you, how things would appear to the B&G (but then again neither does # 2 or # 3)

    Go and take a nice card. 

    Save your pennies and send a nice gift to the couple somewhere down the road after they get home from their honeymoon, and are settling into “married life”

    They’ll no doubt appreciate the gesture (an unexpected surprise gift at that point in time)

    You can turn this into a win-win for both of you

    Post # 7
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I always encourage gifting a card if nothing else. I can’t speak for others but SO and I are/were pretty aware of everyone’s financial situations, so we were totally fine with people who came with very low-cost gifts or without gifts.

    That said, I’ve been very financially strapped before (student + living on my own + minimum wage job) and I still pulled together enough to get a simple, inexpensive gift off the registry. If you would like to go this route, I would go with the loaf pan since that’s a good solo gift whereas a washcloth usually is requested in multiple quantities.

    Post # 8
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    A card is fine! Since you are an invited guest, I assume you are close with the bride/groom (or at least close enough to attend the wedding even though you are strapped for cash); as such, they may already know of your financial situation right now and should have no ill feelings regarding receiving a card as a gift.  As stated above, you can give a gift after the event.  I honestly am not expecting a gift from my Future In-Laws because they are not able to afford it (we will be paying for their travel/lodging for the wedding).  You should be fine.  Your presence is a gift! 🙂

    Post # 9
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Bring a card. Make sure you write your own message in it (instead of just writing your name). If you literally show up with nothing (no card, no gift) I’ll be a little annoyed, but still happy you made the trek. But if you have a card that says “Congratulations! I’m so excited for you and your new husband!” or anything personal that you can add I will be very happy you took the time to write something sweet. I’ll mostly be glad because I get to spend my wedding day with you.

    The number one thing you should NOT do (unless you get in a car accident *knock on wood*) is RSVP yes and then not show up with no phone call. If you do that I probably won’t speak to you again (unless you were actually in a car accident *knock on wood*).

    Post # 10
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We received JUST cards from a few of our wedding guests, and it was plenty for us! There was no judgement on our end. We were just so flattered that so many came to be with us that that was more than enough! PLEASE don’t worry about this!!! GO! Have fun! Buy them a nice card and write a sweet sentiment in it – if it ISN’T enough for them, you’re better off without them!

    Post # 11
    1271 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I didn’t think twice about someone giving me a card.  It was perfect, especially for our financially strapped friends/family.  Now no gift OR card…I had different opinions.

    Post # 12
    1002 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would be far more upset if a guest did not show up at all because they could not afford a gift. Your presence and support is the most important thing. As pp said, just write them a nice personalized note inside the card 🙂

    Post # 13
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think just a card is fine. That said, in your shoes, I would probably send a gift in a few months if I could afford it (or, alternately, I might just bring a cheap bottle of wine, there are plenty of decent wines for $4-7). Even if you can’t, though, I think you’re safe at least showing up with a card.

    Post # 14
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Your presence if gift enough!If they’re good frineds or close family, then they will likely know your fincial  situation anyway and understand. Go and have fun!


    Post # 15
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @nambi_pambi:  +1

    Exactly. They will understand. And there is no requirement to give a gift, but you should get a card for sure. It’s the thought that counts!

    Post # 16
    1486 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I agree–we got lots of just cards!  Those didn’t offend me at all.  The people who offended me are the ones who (a) RSVPd yes and didn’t show up at all, or (b) didn’t even bother with a card.  

    I get people’s financial situations, seriously.  I don’t judge them, I’ve been there.  But I feel like anyone can find the 3.50 for a card.

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