only blood matters

posted 2 weeks ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
4403 posts
Honey bee

alfalfasprout10518 :  I don’t know what to say other than it is very very bizarre. She is missing out on a ton of relationships with family (my definition) by being like this. I have close friends that I see as sisters. I have family that isn’t blood relatives and they aren’t married to the blood relative…and they are still family. Forever they will be my family.

This is an extreme view and it would bother me too. Wow. 

Post # 4
Member
5305 posts
Bee Keeper

I also think that’s weird. As a plus (?) it seems she has that line with everyone, including herself. So at least you aren’t singled out. But yeah, pretty bizarre. 

Post # 6
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

She definitely does have extremely rigid ideas and rules about this.. is she like this in other areas of her life? I can’t believe she flat out refused to speak to her brother in law of 40 years at a funeral. 

Post # 7
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It’s bizarre but you can’t change the way she views family.   Sometimes you lose the in law lottery, as much as it sucks. My husband lost his parents when he was a kid and my parents both went out of their way to treat him as their son almost immediately and their relationship with him has grown since we got married.   Your mil sucks and is missing an opportunity to cultivate a rewarding relationship with you.  It’s her loss.  

Post # 10
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

My family is kind of like that, whereas my SO’s is more accepting. Every family dynamic is a little different, and at least you know it’s nothing personal. 

Post # 11
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee

Has SHE been married? Does she think of her husband as an outsider and not a part of her nuclear family?? 

Post # 12
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee

Sooo bizarre, and it seems like trying to say anything about it is just talking to a wall. On the flip side, if she really insists on YOUR immediate family doing something a certain way, well… she’s ‘just an in law’ so out goes her ways and you can do whatever you see fit. According to her rules you don’t have to follow her made up traditions

Post # 14
Member
4403 posts
Honey bee

alfalfasprout10518 :  so so weird. You said she’s also a narc. Can you severely limit time with her? I wouldn’t want to spend my time dealing with this. Time is precious. 

Post # 15
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

Are you sure she’s a narcissist? From what you’ve described here, she sounds way more autism spectrum, given her inflexibility/rules about family, social awkwardness and lack of awareness, difficulties with changing behaviors, difficulties with social conventions/interactions, etc…

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