(Closed) Only Certain People in Household Invited to Rehearsal

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m confused. You’re talking about siblings, or step-siblings of the groom? I say invite them even if they aren’t in the wedding party. My brother’s aren’t in my wedding party and I would definitely invite them to a rehersal dinner. 

I don’t think children of the Bridal Party members have to be invited unless they’re in the wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @amcraig82: 

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Honestly you wouldn’t be the first Bride / Couple who is confused by this whole Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette thing… as to WHO IS and Who Is Not included…

Here then a list to help you out… (well actually your Fiance & his Parent’s Out… as they are the Hosts traditionally for this event)

Traditionally the Groom’s Parents issue the Invites and Pay for the  Rehearsal Party… not the B&G. If it is a joint-hosted event (you guys have  money in the mix, then you’ll want to work it out with the Groom’s Family so as  no one is offended in the mix in regards to their roles and a loss of face to  others).  One of the primary ideas behind the Rehearsal Dinner is it is the main event where all the key players in the Wedding get to meet one another if they have not done so before…

List of Attendees:

* Bride & Groom (Guests of Honour)

* Groom’s Parents (Hosts)

* Bride’s Parents

* All the Bridal Party (and their SOs)

(so, if Cousin Sally is one of your Bridesmaids she gets an Invite along with her SO… but no need to invite her Parents or her brothers & sisters)

* Bridal Party Children – such as … Jr. Bridesmaids, Flower Girls, Ring  Bearer  (and as they are under 18 their Parents)

* The Wedding Officiant (and if they have a spouse)

* Any one who has a “special” role in the Wedding… Reader, Soloist,  Musicians  (and their SOs)

* Siblings of the Bride & Groom (and their SOs)

That covers all the MUST BE THEREs… then if there is money available the Hosts can ADD ON any of the following:

LONG LIST

Add ons..

Grand Parents, God Parents, and Any Special Guests who are coming to  the  Wedding (like Aunt Martha & Uncle Phil who flew in from  Australia)

And in some cases… where money isn’t a concern… the Rehearsal Dinner  can  also be open to all the Out of Town Guests who are in for the evening  before the  Wedding

Hope this helps,

— — —

EDIT TO ADD – So if I read your Question correctly… the person in particular you are asking about is your Fiance’s Step Sister (correct ?).  She is an immediate family member… his sibliing / step sibling… she needs to be there (whether she lives at home or not).  IF she is under 18, then she doesn’t need a PLUS ONE, if she is over 18, then you should extend her that courtesy… same as with the Wedding Invite.

If you need further clarification, or more info… just ask, I’d be happy to help.

 

Post # 6
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@amcraig82:  I’m in a similar situation. I asked my dad if I should invite my 30 year old “step brother” to the rehearsal dinner and he said “no, he’ll be bored”. I think it’s fine, unless you think it will cause issues, in which case it may be best to invite her and keep the peace the day before the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
8690 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@This Time Round:  

IF she is under 18, then she doesn’t need a PLUS ONE, if she is over 18, then you should extend her that courtesy… same as with the Wedding Invite

 

 

Just because someone is over 18, doesn’t mean they automatically get Plus 1.  

Post # 8
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m glad you know to include SO’s of the wedding party…I recently went through some drama with this (not my own wedding) and it was really hurtful to me and caused some drama with others as well. 

Have fun! 

Post # 9
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @ajillity81:  you said…

Just because someone is over 18, doesn’t mean they automatically get Plus  1.  

True enough.

But if you read my full Reply # 3, I said…

EDIT TO ADD – So if I read your Question correctly… the person in particular  you are asking about is your Fiance’s Step Sister (correct ?).  She is an  immediate family member… his sibling / step sibling… she needs to be there  (whether she lives at home or not).  IF she is under 18, then she doesn’t need a PLUS ONE, if she is over 18, then you should extend her that courtesy…  same as with the Wedding Invite.

This isn’t the same case as just anyone (someone) having a Plus One, this is an immediate family member.  Who may or maynot be in the Bridal Party… (that part wasn’t 100% clear to me in the OP)…. but at any rate, they are over 18 and the Step Sister to the Groom.

Usually when it comes to Family Weddings, one gives the benefit / courtesy of Plus Ones to their Siblings if they are over 18.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 10
Member
8690 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@This Time Round:  my brother is in my bridal party and he is not being invited with a plus one because he is not married, engaged, living with someone or in a long term relationship.  my Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man are also single and not getting invited with a +1.  my FI’s Bridesmaid or Best Man is newly divorced not not being invited with +1, along with 2 of 4 groomsman who are also single not being invited with +1.

regarless of bridal party or not, our rule is named +1 if you are married, engaged, living with someone or in a long term relationship. no one is offended they are not invited with a +1.

Post # 11
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @ajillity81:  that is fine. 

I was merely giving Traditional Etiquette advice… one always has the choice to go with it or do as they please… (Rules of Etiquette exist because they usually are one way to circumvent issues before they happen in the social world)

The fact is I am one of the folks here on WBee who know all these crazy (sometimes complicated) Etiquette Rules that is what I was sharing with my post.

The whole “Etiquette Snob” title in my posts is a poor attempt at humour… and refers to the fact that I know this stuff which isn’t always given a huge welcome … doesn’t mean anyone has to follow it.

It is just put out there to consider.

Hope this helps,

 

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