(Closed) Only Child?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
Hostess
11051 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Qlavata : I’m an only child, as an adult I see more pros of this, no bickering etc. When I was a child I did feel lonely at times and longed for a sibling, but on the flip side of that I had a great time still and have got some lovely memories. Had the situation been different I’m sure there would have been times if I’d had a sibling where I wish I was the only child. It’s a tough one, I thought when I have children I’d like more than one but if we’re only graced with one, I’ll happily take that. 

Post # 34
Member
6448 posts
Bee Keeper

Qlavata :  When we had our daughter I was so set against having anymore.  Not because my husband wanted that because I had grown up being an only child.  And it wasn’t until earlier this year that we started trying for a second.  I think we made the right decision for our family, to have two.  But it works out well for just having one, look at me!  But my husband has two brothers.  Which is why I think he wanted more than one, but it was never something that was forced on me.

Post # 36
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m an only child.  I grew up just fine, had plenty of friends, never felt lonely, or felt like I was missing something.  Of course, as a young child, I would say I wanted a sibling, but don’t most kids say that?  If anything, I think being an only child made me more creative, imaginative, and capable of being happy being by myself when I was single, as well as when my husband is away for work.

To address the other PPs stating to have another kid to “bear the burden” of the elderly, my mom has 6 siblings.  When my grandparents passed, my mom was the only one to step up and take care of them while they were sick, and she has been the only one who handled things when other members of the family have passed.  So, just because you have more than one child, doesn’t necessarily mean all siblings will step up and take care of you when you’re elderly.  

Post # 37
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Qlavata :  I think it’s not about having support but where you say ‘one just feels right’ and that you like your famy unit the way it is right now. I’m in the same boat. I live isolated from any one I know and for where we are and in our lives right now, I love our small one child family. I had a brother and we were bffs until close to high school and we grew apart a lot. Darling Husband and his sister were never close despite being close in age. So as much as we feel we should have a sibling for our son, right now it’s nice how it is. Maybe in time you’ll feel like a second, or third or fourth… But I guess I would say, enjoy it now and see how you feel later. Unless you’re in a place where you’re on a time limit you can just chill and enjoy life until you know you want a second or you don’t. 

Post # 39
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We will be a OAD family. My pregnancy has been difficult and I know I could not go through it again. Reading the responses here have further cemented my decision. Also, many of the reasons people site as the reason to have more siblings aren’t really valid in my eyes b/c I’ve seen a lot of the same issues expressed in multi-children families. 

I am not an only child. I have a brother. We’re not that close – we talk every once in a while. I have a friend with only one child – she is insanely creative and they’ve been able to really focus on her needs. She is very social and the most thoughtful child I have ever met. 

Post # 40
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

I’m an only child and I loved it. Having a second child doesn’t guarantee anything. As for growing old and them having to bear the burden alone, this is what partners and spouses are for 🙂

Post # 41
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Aanuka Beach Resort

Its your choice, an only child is not disadvantaged by being an only child.

My husband and made the decision to only have one child. She is well socalised and has a very outgoing personality.

The decision to have one was easy for us, I had a terrible pregnancy and i never want to experience that again, I know some people say each pregnancy is different but the thought of going through it again was enough to deter me. Hubby is fine with just one as he loves her being with her one on one.

Having just the one allows us to save a nice a trust fund for her by the time she is 25, if we had more than one it would be splt by the number of children so this way she *should* be set up for later on in life.

Post # 42
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m an only child and loved it! My grandma, my dad and myself were only children so I’ve always said that I would have more than one. Yes, I was spoiled since I was the only grandchild on one side and the youngest on the other, but I turned into a well rounded adult. I grew up in sports, traveling and had plenty of friends so I never felt lonely.

I became an orphan by the time I was 16 and now that I’m in my mid 20s with no living family, I definitely wish I had some siblings. But I’m also glad that another child didn’t have to go through the same childhood I had to endure. Thankfully, my husband has 5 sisters so I’ve got my “sibling” fix. I do worry about having more than one kid because I do NOT understand sibling relationships at all, so Darling Husband will definitely have to help me with that.

I was also my grandfather’s care giver in my early 20s since my grandma, mom and uncle were gone, so I can understand worrying about them taking care of you, however, it’s part of life. 

Post # 43
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

 

Qlavata :  I’m an unique almost only child. I’m my dads only and my mom had 2 more 20 years prior to me(ones now dead and ones a dipshit). It sucked growing up alone. I always wished I had a sibling to play with. My mom is disabled and I’m the one doing the taking care of and its made my 20s suck lol. While I would love help, I make it work and would probably hate a sibling now cause I’m anti social probably due to not having a sibling lol. It’s nice to not have to fight over inheritance as well. In my future I’m making sure my kids don’t have to take care of me I won’t make their life harder.

Post # 44
Member
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Qlavata :  We have one son (8 months), and are feeling like he will be an only child. I can’t say this for sure right now as I don’t want to have another baby (if at all) until he is 4-5 years. Something about being a family of three just feels right to us too. Having a baby is a lot of work; and there is just so much I want to do with him that would be harder to do (travel, etc.) with more than one child. It’s hard to verbalized right now, but it just seems like this is what are family is supposed to be. I’m sure we’ll really have to think about this more in 2-3 years.

I refuse to have another baby for any other reason than we really want another baby. I honestly think the reasons about growing older aren’t valid. There is no guarantee that any child would step up to help in that situation. Our kid will grow up loved and will go on adventures with us. We will work to make sure he spends time with others and joins groups and clubs. But, I won’t have another baby just to give him a sibling. We owe him a loving and supportive life. He isn’t owed a sibling. 

Post # 45
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

I am an only. My childhood was idyllic. Unfortunately at 17 my mother was diagnosed with a chronic illness (by then she was a single mum) and I became her carer. I am an adult orphan. No one shares my childhood memories or memories of my mum like I do. I would never have an only child. My circumstances are unlucky, but I also know because of what I’ve been through you never know what life will throw at you. I mean, I f*cking LOVE my mum and it was worth it to have the time with her I did, but sheesh being an only can work out real tough 

The topic ‘Only Child?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors