(Closed) Only child?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am an only child and I loved it while I was a kid and teenager. Now, as an adult, being an only child scares me. I see my parents growing older and am faced with the fact that one day they’ll be gone and I will be alone in the world (not really, but no siblings to mourn with). Also, I am the only person who can take care of them if they become sick and need help, this responsibility can not be shared with siblings. Finally, I look at DH with his sister, and I am sad that I will never understand and live that kind of relationship.

Even if I loved growing up alone, I’m sure I would have loved growing up with siblings as well. For those reasons, I plan on having at least 2 children. Sorry if this was not the answer you were looking for.

Post # 18
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

In My Humble Opinion i’ve never met an only child that I liked. People skills is something that is very important in a child and if your only raised around adults, most of the time they don’t socialize well with people their own age. I’ve had alot of experience with only children being extremley spoiled, which is no fault of their own of course, but is a horrible personality trait to carry over into adulthood. It’s all on how you raise them though. I would never have just one baby, theres something magical between sibling bonds. I’m 3 years younger than my sister and I can’t imagine my life without her. She’s taught me so many things that I never learned from friends.

Post # 19
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Neither my DH or I are only children but I can tell you I know some people who used to be friends with who were only children. Talk about self centered and all around jerks. (hence no longer friends.)

Currently my son is an only child and we hope to have another in a few years here. I do not want to have my child be an only child at all. 

Post # 20
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s definitely how you raise a child.  I’m an only child and an introvert– I matured quickly but am definitely not as social as everyone keeps saying only children are!  FI is one of 3 and he can strike up a conversation with anyone whereas I would much rather keep to myself. 

I did date an only child once and it was so funny because sometimes we’d sit in silence for hours on our laptops or reading books, basically ignoring one another because we were both so used to doing our own thing and enjoying being alone.  Before Fiance, I needed alone time pretty often and it seemed like only my other only-children-friends could understand it.   

Fiance and I are planning on having more than one child, though.  While I think it would be so fun to raise an only child, I’ve wanted a bigger family since I didn’t have one growing up. 

Also dang, some people are being harsh– don’t forget that lots of us posting are only children! 

Post # 21
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m an only child and as it stands right now, we only plan to reproduce once. I loved being an only and never wanted a sibling. Now that I’m older I guess it would be nice to have a sister or something but honestly, I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. Growing up, I was much more independent and mature than my peers. I never had a problem playing by myself and I had one hell of an imagination. I’ve always been creative and I think a lot of that comes from the attention I received when I was younger. Being an only allowed me to experience a lot of things that other kids my age never did.  Obviously families with more than one child can experience all of these things too but it’s much easier when you only have one kid to tend to as opposed to a whole herd.

People say that only children grow up to be socially awkward because they don’t have peer interaction but I totally disagree. I constantly had friends around. For the first half of my life, all of my “best friends” were other only children so we spent a lot of time together. Even when I was older and in jr. high/high school, my best friend and I would spend every single weekend together. Sometimes we’d even sleep over during the week. We were more like sisters than friends.

Now for the negatives… I admit, sharing isn’t my strong suit and I’ve been known to be a tad selfish at times but when it’s all about you for 18+ years, it’s hard to adjust to life where you’re not the center of attention (I’m still struggling with that at 26). It’s been an adjustment to get used to DH having a brother and having to share the spotlight with him & his family (we’ve been together for 7 years so this isn’t anything new). It’s always been allllll about me. I was even the only grandchild until I was 11 so you can imagine how “important” I was to my family. To this day, I’m still the only girl. Even with these negatives, I wouldn’t trade being an only child for anything.

I want to provide my future kid with a similar childhood to what I had. I’m insanely close with my mom and I’m positive that our relationship is what it is because of being an only child. I know that those with siblings can be close with their parents but when it’s just you and them, the relationship is on a whole new level. DH and I have disagreed on the number of kids we’ll have but I think he’s come over to my side. People think that having multiple children will guarantee a lifelong best friend but that isn’t always the case. DH and his brother hardly ever talk. They’re more like acquaintances than anything else. I also know people who despise their siblings and WISH they were only children. You never know what you’re going to get.

Post # 22
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yikes! Lots of only children hate going on. It’s probably best I don’t read through all the PP’s. 

Post # 23
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@UpstateCait:  I never said they were. I said the ones I knew were. 

Post # 24
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

View original reply
@bookworm88:  I think the saying that only children are sociable is so wrong.  Most of the time, I played with myself, my pets, or my parents and didn’t have many friends until I was school aged.

I am also not the typical spoiled brat only, yes I don’t like to share but I never really wanted for much when I was little so I didn’t get mounds of presents.

Post # 25
Member
7996 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am an only child and I am happy about it.  Families come in all shapes and sizes.

Post # 26
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I want to add something to this conversation that I think is a factor that in how the child develops – daycare.  I know for us, our child will be in daycare and therefore will be interacting with other children, sharing with other children, and essentially learning a lot of interaction skills that she would not necessarily get being an only child at home.  When I was little (and granted, I’m probably older than many of you) but 99% of kids were home with their moms.  I wonder if the daycare aspect helps only children in any way??? 

Post # 27
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was an only child and I desperately wanted siblings. I never wanted my child to be an only child. Not every only child prefers that status. I would have loved a brother or sister. I think it is up to each family as to what is best for them.

Post # 28
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have to say, I’m not loving all the only-child-hate. I may be a jerk, but that’s because of my life experiences, NOT because I’m an only child.

Post # 29
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MRSLMAyou might as well be talking about my husband! 

He’s an only child and I’m oldest of 4, so we had very different childhoods. He really wishes he had a sibling to share his life with. Instead, his parents are kind of a stand in for that — they talk about everything, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We’ve decided we definitely do not want just one if we have any say in the matter. But this is certainly a to each her own scenario.

Post # 30
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@hatmanandbobbin:  I’m with ya. I dont have a warm fuzzy feeling about this thread, that’s for sure. Oh well. 

Post # 31
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

Both my parents were only children and they hated it. So much so that they had 3 children because they didn’t want us to feel alone.

As they’ve grown up, my parents are now both the only people to look after their parents and it’s put a strain on their lives. They encouraged me to move away if I wanted to because they didn’t want me to feel trapped as they are.

I also have an incredibly small family because of this, too. There are 6 people in my family – myself included. I have no aunties, no uncles, no cousins – my SO’s parents each had 3 siblings and their family is huge and it’s so wonderful to have that many people around. It does make me very sad.

I think it’s important to think not just about the impact having an only child could potentially have on their lives, but the lives of their children, too.

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