(Closed) Only happens once… (Sorry..long vent)

posted 9 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i’m confused…. so… you are angry that someone is trying to be optimistic? i mean… IDEALLY this time in your life happens only once.

what do you want them to say? “this time in your life happens as many times as you want as long as you are willing to deal with lawyers, alimony, and child support. good luck!”

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@rosworms: I just LOL’d

Post # 5
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think she was saying that maybe the lady could have worded it different. Or replaced life with relationship. lol  idk.   I dont think she was trying to say bad anything about this lady being “optimistic” though

Post # 6
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@helenc32:

I know what you mean, actually. So why not look at it this way: “This time in your life only happens once when you are ready to commit to the one you love”. Who cares if it’s “again” or “someone new”? This is the FIRST time that it all seems to have fallen into place. Does that make sense? 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@helenc32: I get it…as an Encore bride myself I can see how that little statement could rub someone the wrong way.

However, I do think they are just trying to be optimistic and not saying that being married more than once is terrible or anything. It’s more of a marketing technique for the first time brides that want to have every single thing for their wedding experience. Because most of those brides probably read that and go ” Aww that’s so right it’s only going to happen once we HAVE to do this!”. I don’t think it’s meant negatively towards us Encore Brides though.

Post # 8
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i wouldn’t be offended by that, personally. most people who get the whole 9 yards of photography done are typically 1st timers. encore brides tend to forgo all of the excess and focus on the ceremony and reception, i think. she’s selling a service, so i’m sure she just wants to make it romantic 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7884 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Idealistic vs. Realistic.  Sure, 1/2 of marraiges end in divorce, but who wants to be thinking about that when they are planning their wedding?  I’m sure she did not mean anything by it, although she may want to tweak her phrasing a bit.

Post # 10
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Crisark: I totally agree.

I’m an encore bride too, and I always catch that “once in your life” thing in marketing, or when brides are trying to justify an expense that they want, but it’s not offensive. You certainly hope it’s the only time you are doing it and you don’t want to hear a bride say “I have to do this, it’s my first marriage!” 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m an encore bride and it doesn’t bother me in the least.  My fiance, who has never been married, says something similar all the time.  For whatever reason, it seems like maybe you’re a little more sensitive to it.

Post # 13
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@helenc32: Oh trust me, I’ve heard those exact same comments – “Why are you having engagement photos for a second wedding?,” “You’re going to put an announcement in the newspaper?” or “You’re wearing an actual gown?  I figured you’d just wear a nice dress…you know, since you’ve been married before.”

From the time I announced our engagement until now, I’ve heard all sorts of negative comments.  They bothered me at first but I’ve gotten used to it AND they’ve actually stopped (now that everyone realizes…this is OUR wedding, FI’s FIRST wedding and we can celebrate it however we want).

You just have to get tough skin with those few people who will try to rain on your parade.  It’s YOUR special day – you can celebrate however you want, wear whatever dress you like, invite as many people as you like, have a full reception or a quiet backyard get together – whatever YOU and your fiance want!

Post # 14
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My own mother is the one who first told me that she was sure I would never want to get married again.  Right Mom because I want to grow old alone in a house full of 23 cats and have all the neigbors talk about poor lonely miss so and so.  Then I was told by my mother well I guess you are  not going to have a wedding are you???  ?Then there was her total look of shock and horror as I told her I was wearing an Ivory gown.  So what I now say to anyone who makes the ‘You’ve been married before” comment I simply reply – “not to him I haven’t”  Stops em dead in their tracks.

Good luck Encore brides.  We deserve love just like the rest of them!!

Post # 15
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

I am an encore bride, but my first wedding was more of an elopement.  So I guess “This time in your life only happens once…” would apply to me.  I’ve already told HeFlutter that I am NOT doing this again…he’s stuck with me!  ^.^

Post # 16
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I hear ya on the frustration that the phrase isn’t entirely realistic/optimistic. However, I don’t think that phrase is trying to comment on one’s marriage(s) at all; I think its only purpose is to solicit clients. It’s underlying message, the true implication of it all, is designed to pressure one to hire the photographer to be sure to preserve that precious event. The idea is, “Hey you! You better preserve this moment and preserve it right because you won’t get the chance to preserve this exact event, with this exact gathering, at this exact time, ever again. So hire me to photograph it for you!”

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