Only invited to ceremony but not reception?! Really?

posted 6 days ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not rude to clarify. It would be rude to invite anyone to a ceremony not followed at least with simple refreshments like cake and punch.

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

trackwise :  I would frame it as a “need to know” for plans, like you did above. Send them a message and say “Hey! So excited to attend your wedding! I’m trying to figure out if I might need to look at local hotels; is there a reception planned I should know about and if so, where is it?” 

Honestly, if she has a reception and is not inviting you, then it’s her problem and she has to deal with the consequences of being rude. I know some cultures / countries do “party only” guests, but I’ve never heard of the reverse. It’s not strange to ask. 

Post # 5
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee

All you can do is ask.  It’s possible that their reception may just be cake and punch in the church fellowship hall.  What time is the wedding?  That may give you a clue as to what their reception plans are.  A 2pm wedding tells me cake and punch.  Something at 11am or 5pm should be a full meal.

So just say “Hi friend, I just want to clarify if there will be a reception following the ceremony and where it will be held so I can plan accordingly.”

If I were a betting woman, I would say they are doing cake and punch at the church and then going out to dinner with immediate family only after.  Which, if appropriate for the time of day, is totally acceptable.

Post # 6
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

trackwise :  To clarify, I never implied that you were only conerned about the food. I said it would be rude NOT to have some sort of reception, and given that no details were provided, it is perfectly fine for you to clarify if your invitation is for the ceremony only or also to a reception. In that case you certainly need the details.

There is the possibility that they had separate reception cards and missed putting one in your enelope. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Text or email, get the information, then you can make a decision about attending or not.

Post # 11
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

I’m definitely thinking this is a misunderstanding. My sil did invitations for a friend’s wedding which passed through several hands before being sent out – no one realized they didn’t put reception information on it until people started receiving them and asking questions. I’d ask for clarification like PP’s have said. 

Post # 12
Member
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hopefully it’s an oversight on their invitations, because it’s super rude to not invite someone to the reception after the ceremony. 

Post # 13
Member
784 posts
Busy bee

I would guess it’s an oversight. I would just ask your bride. I’d probably say, “Hey Bride, I noticed that the reception information isn’t listed on the invite, is it going to be at the church or somewhere else?” I honestly would just assume that there’s a reception, even if it’s only cake and punch at the church. I can’t imagine that anyone would be so rude as to invite guests to the ceremony but not host at least SOME type of reception.

Does she have a wedding website? If it’s not listed on the invites, you may be able to find it by Googling there names. If there is a wedding website, it should have the reception info listed there.

Post # 14
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Oh I am curious to know what the friends invite said, a 4:30 wedding does suggest a meal reception but for it to also be a travel distance that may require hotel stay makes me hope they didn’t just invite you the ceremony! That would be a bit tacky on their part.

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