(Closed) Only kids in family invited… how to word on invitations?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just write the names of whoever is invited on each invitation. I don’t think you have to say anything else on the invite. If anyone RSVP’s for more than were invited, then you just have to call them and say something like “sorry, we are only able to invite kids in the family.”

Post # 4
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@red_rose: I agree.  Most people will understand that not everyone wants to invite every child of every person they invite, and many will appreciate the child-free night out.  Just deal with the few that will make a fuss on an individual basis.

Post # 6
740 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That’s what we did… to the family members where we invited the whole family we addressed them to “The Smith Family”, to those where only the parents were invited we only included thier names on the invite.  We haven’t had any confusion about this.  Also, word of mouth has helped I think too, people know the expectations.

Post # 7
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@joy2011: My exact thoughts, any person with half a brain knows that if their kids are invited it will say “Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz AND FAMILY”. If the “AND FAMILY” is not there then only the parents are invited.

I can not see any reasonable adult getting worked up over that. I have to cut kids who are not in the family due to the size of my family and like you family is everything in my book. No worries ppl will get it and if they RSVP 4 instead of 2, call and say the invitation was for you and your husband, our budget and venue can not accomadate kids outside the family. I wouldn’t say sorry…why be sorry, your wedding, your guest list. You wouldn’t apologize over your other coices (dress, flowers, music etc), no reason to say sorry b/c the guest list (like all guest lists) had to be cut somewhere.

We all get too wrapped up in what may slight someone at times and we ALL need to remember it is our day and our choice who to celebrate with and how.

Post # 8
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

To avoid unwanted guests, we had the RSVP cards actually say “2 seats have been reserved in your honor.”  Or, however many guests we intended to invite.  This is a pretty clear, yet polite, way of reiterating that the invitation is for the adults only.

Post # 9
12261 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If there arent a lot of guest in this category, you could even put the names of the invited guest so there is zero confusion.  I had maybe 30 invites where I did this for, and then just sent out the generic invite to family that was free to bring children.  So the specific ones read:

We have reserved 2 seats in your honor

Name 1
__ beef __ chicken.. etc
__ declines

Name 2
__ beef __ chicken.. etc
__ declines

Post # 10
35 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are having hte same dilema so I love all of your suggestions!!!

Post # 11
117 posts
Blushing bee

We hired nursery workers and noted “Nursery provided during ceremony” on the bottom of the invitation.

We had a friend stand at the door to politely direct those with small children to the nursery before entering the ceremony.

Worked very well.

Post # 12
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

On our RSVP cards we had the wording like this and it worked out great, no added kids:

___ of ___ (fill in with # of people you are inviting, we did this by hand) Will attend

___ Will not attend

Then meal choices.

We had no issues at all.

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