Post # 1
We have several little cousins in each of our families and family means the world to me so of course I want them at my reception.. HOWEVER… many of our guests have several children…. most of whom I’ve never even met.
I can’t word the invites “adults only”…. because friends will see that children are there, obviously. I can’t exactly say “please leave the 6 kids I’ve never met but you complain about all the time at home” either…
What’s the proper way to word that the invite to friends shouldn’t be assumed to pack the mini van for the night?
Post # 3
Just write the names of whoever is invited on each invitation. I don’t think you have to say anything else on the invite. If anyone RSVP’s for more than were invited, then you just have to call them and say something like “sorry, we are only able to invite kids in the family.”
Post # 4
@red_rose: I agree. Most people will understand that not everyone wants to invite every child of every person they invite, and many will appreciate the child-free night out. Just deal with the few that will make a fuss on an individual basis.
Post # 5
Sounds like a great and simple idea:) Thank you!!!
Post # 6
That’s what we did… to the family members where we invited the whole family we addressed them to “The Smith Family”, to those where only the parents were invited we only included thier names on the invite. We haven’t had any confusion about this. Also, word of mouth has helped I think too, people know the expectations.
Post # 7
@joy2011: My exact thoughts, any person with half a brain knows that if their kids are invited it will say “Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz AND FAMILY”. If the “AND FAMILY” is not there then only the parents are invited.
I can not see any reasonable adult getting worked up over that. I have to cut kids who are not in the family due to the size of my family and like you family is everything in my book. No worries ppl will get it and if they RSVP 4 instead of 2, call and say the invitation was for you and your husband, our budget and venue can not accomadate kids outside the family. I wouldn’t say sorry…why be sorry, your wedding, your guest list. You wouldn’t apologize over your other coices (dress, flowers, music etc), no reason to say sorry b/c the guest list (like all guest lists) had to be cut somewhere.
We all get too wrapped up in what may slight someone at times and we ALL need to remember it is our day and our choice who to celebrate with and how.
Post # 8
To avoid unwanted guests, we had the RSVP cards actually say “2 seats have been reserved in your honor.” Or, however many guests we intended to invite. This is a pretty clear, yet polite, way of reiterating that the invitation is for the adults only.
Post # 9
If there arent a lot of guest in this category, you could even put the names of the invited guest so there is zero confusion. I had maybe 30 invites where I did this for, and then just sent out the generic invite to family that was free to bring children. So the specific ones read:
We have reserved 2 seats in your honor
__ beef __ chicken.. etc
__ beef __ chicken.. etc
Post # 10
We are having hte same dilema so I love all of your suggestions!!!
Post # 11
We hired nursery workers and noted “Nursery provided during ceremony” on the bottom of the invitation.
We had a friend stand at the door to politely direct those with small children to the nursery before entering the ceremony.
Worked very well.
Post # 12
On our RSVP cards we had the wording like this and it worked out great, no added kids:
___ of ___ (fill in with # of people you are inviting, we did this by hand) Will attend
___ Will not attend
Then meal choices.
We had no issues at all.
Post # 13
I love your suggestions! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!