(Closed) Only not inviting one couple's children?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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jennayhoang:  You knew how to swing it! I swear sometimes putting things in the right words is all it takes for people to understand. 

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dances123:  I’m surprised there haven’t been bees on here telling you kids are an all or nothing deal. However I understand your situation. Explain it to her using jennay’s spin and she should be okay with that. If she isn’t, then don’t worry about it. There are plenty of things I’ve missed out on because we have kids and couldn’t find a sitter. It’s just how life goes sometimes. 

Post # 17
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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dances123:  We only invited kids that we were related to, which were our nephews and any cousins kids. So, some people were confused with our RSVP when we had the option of a kids meal but they may not have had their kids’ names on the invitation.

Most of our friends with kids were pumped to get away for an evening, so no one really said anything. I did have a friends wife ask me if we’d have daycare there to watch her kid, and I told her no – but if one of you would want to stay home and bring the kid in your place, that would be fine. It was odd, considering when she married my friend – god forbid you invited anyone that wasn’t on your invitation (even to the dance!).

Post # 18
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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dances123:  so true! I can understand you not wanting to invite them. If she doesn’t like it then too bad, honestly. 

Post # 19
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee

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dances123:  You’re not being rude or mean by not including her children. She and her husband are the social unit here, not them and their children. She was the rude one to add her children onto the invitation, and if she’s butthurt her children didn’t get invited, she needs to accept it and move on. Carry on and enjoy your wedding!

Post # 20
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t give it a second thought, I don’t think everyone you invite should have their kids invited. Some people just think their kids need to be involved in everything. Unless you are personally close to her as well as her children it shouldn’t have even been considered that the kids would be invited.

Post # 21
Member
500 posts
Busy bee

Lol, she can’t just invite her children. If the only person you put on the invite was her, then only she was invited. If you had her and a plus-1, then she and her spouse. It doesn’t matter who else’s children are invited. It’s up to the hosts to choose who they’re inviting to a closed party. It’s up to guests to choose individually whether they want to come or not. 

Post # 22
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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dances123:  I wouldn’t sweat it.

I also doubt that she will go around and ask every childless couple whether or not they have kids at home. 

Post # 23
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You’re not being mean! It’d be different if yu had told her it was a “no kids” wedding, and then she showed up and saw a bunch of kids, but that’s not the case. It’s just that you don’t know her kids. She should completely understand that — I know I would, and I’m a parent. It’s no problem at all. 

Post # 24
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would never be insulted if I couldn’t bring my son to a co-workers wedding (yeah date night!). If she asks I would just let her know the other children are family. How is she going to know if there are not any other kids missing. 

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