(Closed) Only strong couples survive cheating…. What do you think?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you think you can survive cheating?

    No, not worth the pain.

    Yes, marriage is forever.

  • Post # 121
    1 posts

    View original reply
    FauxBoho:  Yes i agree with you.


    Post # 122
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    Only strong couples survive cheating?… Only strong couples wouldn’t even dream of cheating in any form. There is no way I would forgive & I wouldn’t expect my other half too either.

    Post # 123
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee

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    grace25:  hear, hear. Strong couple and cheating do not even belong in the same sentence. It’s like an oxymoron. 

    Post # 124
    952 posts
    Busy bee

    No. Never.

    I have unwittingly been “the other woman”. For an extended period of time.  First he was single, then he was  divorced, then separated,  living with her but just roommates, eventually married but hated his life…etc etc. (Ya that’s when I found her and told her myself and ended it. )

    I don’t think it takes a strong couple to stay together at all. It takes a weak person to stay with someone after they have lied so much to you, degraded you behind your back, told I love you to someone else, snuck around, act as though you don’t exist..etc. I don’t think it takes a strong person at all to forgive that. I think it takes a lost, desperate person who has no self esteem and is scared to be alone…so scared that they are willing to  stay with someone who has promised to build a life with you and to cherish you and gone and destroyed it. 

    But that’s my opinion.  I feel pity for the wife of the guy I “dated”. She kicked him out after i told (he contacted me telling me he left her dor me?..ok buddy you should have left if you wanted to cheat and never dont that too her, or me and i couldnt care less if your status changed and i seriously doubt you left for me..i will always believe she had a moment of sttength and kicked him out and they got right back together. I don’t know if it worked out…In all honesty i have wondered and not about him but more about her. I saw the way he lied and i unraveled so many of them, I heard the way he talked about her and thier relationship which I assume was all lies…but I can’t imagine being her, and being so lied about by my husband. I wonder if she ever left him for good and found a better life. 

    I think no matter what that trust would be gone and there would always be an underlying mistrust. I could never be in a relationship where I doubted my so’s honest love for me. 


    Post # 125
    235 posts
    Helper bee

    It depends on so much, and every couple is different. I believe that people can change, and that a couple can get through it after some deep introspection on both sides. However, I wouldn’t fault anyone for calling it quits over an affair.

    I probably would, and I would be far more likely to leave my husband if he had an actual love affair with someone. If it was simply a meaningless one-time fling then there *might* be a chance I’d forgive it. As I said, it would depend on a lot.

    Post # 126
    599 posts
    Busy bee

    As far as I’m concerned, strong couples don’t cheat so I guess I can’t really answer your question. If you love and respect your spouse, you don’t look elsewhere to get your rocks off.

    I have a friend going through this now. Her husband cheated on her then did a series of really extreme things which I won’t go into here. Those extreme things are basically what saved their marriage, even though I personally don’t think it was worth saving. Now they seem better and are planning a vow renewal. I find the whole thing pretty ridiculous to be honest. You broke your vows the first time so now you get a do-over? Wonder how many re-engagements they’ll go through before she finally smartens up.

    Post # 127
    1178 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

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    anonykitten:  Maybe I’m weird… I’d be the opposite in terms of forgiveness.

    If my SO had some drunken one night stand, I would be pissed. He’d hurt me and our relationship for something so momentary and insignificant? How many one night stands could he have in the future? That’s all him and I’d always wonder when he was out drinking again.

    On the other hand… a long-term hidden secret affair? Continued lies, sneaking around… it’s so much more deliberate and cruel to me. Something he purposely hides from me. I think that would mean there were some really deep issues in our relationship for that to happen and something was broken and missing. I’m not sure I could get passed it either… But I’d feel like I probably have some fault here too and I hope I never have to decide if its worth working through at that point. 

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