(Closed) ONLY the bride wears white.

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

It’s true- only the bride wears white. It’s not a huge deal if there’s a tiny bit of white- my Bridesmaid or Best Man found her dress last minute and the chest area was white/black lace, with the bottom black. But a dress that’s more than 1/4th white is disrespectful…it’s just common knowledge.

Post # 18
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@miss11.11.11: I think that’d be a great idea if the bride wore a red wedding dress… I’ve seen so many lovely red ones.

Post # 19
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee

I think its a bit silly actually. As long as the dress isnt going to compete with the dress of the bride then its fine. Usually a dress that is based in white has other colors anyway.

Post # 20
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I always get confused when people use the argument of “How will people know who the bride is?” Um, I hope if someone is attending my wedding, they know who I am.

That being said, I would NEVER wear white to a wedding unless specifically instructed to by the bride. But I don’t think I will be “enforcing” the rule for my guests.

Post # 21
Member
702 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@SnowPeony: Wow, really? I had never heard the “no more than 1/4 white” guideline. That seems excessive to me… let’s say the dress is black and white striped (50/50). Okay, perhaps not a good fashion choice, but there’s certainly no risk of confusing her with the bride! LOL I would never think that was disrespectful.

I do think all white (as in, 100% white), generally speaking, is still a no-no. Not because there’s any risk of confusing the guest with the bride – that’s just silly. But because it’s such a commonly known “rule” that the wearer might be made uncomfortable by other guests’ funny looks or possibly even comments!

OP: I think the fact that the dress has pink in it might be enough to make it okay, no? And if not, maybe say something like, “Personally I don’t think it’s that big a deal, but it’s still considered bad etiquette by some people and I wouldn’t want you to get funny looks!”

Post # 22
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

One of our guests wore all white–shirt, kilt, socks, and shoes.  But given that he was bald and had a beard, I don’t think anyone confused him with a bride.

Seriously, I know the rule exists, and I would comply with it at someone else’s wedding, but we really didn’t care.  Anyone invited to the wedding was someone who knew us well enough to be able to pick us out, regardless of what anyone else wore.

Post # 23
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I honestly don’t care if the guests wear something with white in it or whatever (floor length ballgown we might need to talk…) But I would care if, for instance, like in my story above, my FMIL wore a solid white dress. We are going to be in pictures together, and she is the MOG for crying out loud. I mean c’mon….

Post # 24
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t care if others wear white at my wedding. Most weddings veer off of “Traditional” in some way or another, and my wedding does majorly. I don’t feel right saying “my wedding is not traditional, but my guests have to follow tradition”. If someone feels most comfortable/beautiful in white they can wear white.

Post # 25
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is something that doesn’t bother me and I have never really understood the uproar.  I don’t care if anyone wears white, as long as they are not wearing an actual wedding dress.  I don’t think it’s disrespectful, but A LOT of other people do and for that reason I would never wear white to a wedding.  Just keep in mind that not everyone knows this rule (I didn’t know until I was 25 and wore a black and white dress to a wedding and my friend gasped in horror) so I’m sure your friend probably doesn’t know as well.

If it’s something that is going to bother you, I second NotYourTypicalBride‘s advice of saying: “Personally I don’t think it’s that big a deal, but it’s still considered bad etiquette by some people and I wouldn’t want you to get funny looks!”

Post # 26
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I also assumed people knew this, but were were looking through some photos of a wedding my Future Sister-In-Law went to and she was wearing an all white dress which was long and floaty!  I hope she doesn’t wear anything like that to our wedding but my Future Mother-In-Law said she will see she doesn’t.

I wouldn’t have a problem with white with another color, depending on how much white and the length of the dress, but an all white long floaty dress I would be a bit annoyed with.  Of course everyone will know who the bride is but it is the special day to be the only one wearing a white wedding dress and it would sort of take away from that.

Post # 27
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I’ll have a friend on coffee patrol to spill coffee on the dress of any woman wearing a dress more than 50% white.

Post # 28
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think rules kinda suck to be honest. Who cares.

Post # 31
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@NotYourTypicalBride: I’m saying a dress that appears predominantly white shouldn’t be worn to a wedding. I said 1/4th because dresses that are white mixed with a very light color can come off as just white from further away. I would notice if I was at a wedding and someone wore a white dress. It comes off as disrespectful to me, not because anyone will confuse them for the bride, but because it’s just ‘her day’ to wear white and stand out. I asked my grandmother and mother too and they looked at me like I was dumb for even asking, it was that obvious.

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