(Closed) ONLY the bride wears white.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 63
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree, the primary offense of that dress is NOT the color.  LOL.

Post # 64
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–what if the bride’s wearing a color other than white? 😉 I wore green and was totally okay with people wearing whatever color they wanted (even green, man). Even if I had worn white, I wouldn’t have cared, though I know I’m in the minority.

Either way, I think guests should be respectful of the bride’s preferences in that regard. If she wants to be the only one in white, they should respect it and find something else to wear.

Post # 65
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ummm, I agree with a few others, the reason that dress is offensive has nothing to do with the colour, lol.

Obviously based on all the responses here there are many views on the whole “white guest dress” idea. Personally, as long as the person is not wearing a long white dress I’m okay with that. In fact I think short white dresses would look very nice at a wedding. I might even have my bridesmaids wear white because I think it’s classic and beautiful.

Post # 66
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Entangled: I completely agree with you.  I think once you start going to a lot of weddings, and especially when you start planning your own wedding, it’s a rule that seems obvious and that everyone knows.  But five years ago when I had hardly been to any weddings?  I HAD NO IDEA. Unless they are wearing a wedding dress, I don’t think people wear white to be purposely rude and disrespectful, I think they just don’t know.

I really hope that the previous posters who said that they would spill coffee or red wine on anyone that wears white are joking.  I would be really upset if someone did that to one of my guests, and I would have been completely mortified and humiliated if someone did that to me when I wore a white and black dress to a wedding years ago before I knew about the no white rule. It would have devastated my young self.

Post # 67
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree only the bride should wear white. it’s her day. People should respect that. Theres a million other colors they could wear.

Post # 68
Member
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@NYshoppingirl:

Nope.  Not everyone knows. Many people didn’t go to a lot of weddings growing up, or just never heard the rule.  I don’t think I knew it until a few years ago. Luckily, I don’t think I ever violated it, but I totally could have, without intending the slightest offense.

I think that’s what bugs me about this rule. It seems like its only purpose is to give people A) something to feel insulted about or B) something to use to insult people.  Other than that, I don’t understand why it matters. It seems so arbitrary.

I don’t think I would ever have a problem with someone wearing white to my wedding unless they were intentionally doing it to be rude.  And even then, I would just have to laugh – how does it hurt me for them to wear white? It doesn’t make me less the bride or less the center of attention.  Unles they came in a true wedding dress or Lady Gaga style 😀 

At any rate, I think it’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’re not doing it to be malicious, unless you know otherwise.

Post # 69
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I honestly don’t know if anyone wore white to our wedding and wouldn’t have cared if they had…unless it could have been mistaken for a wedding dress.

I hope the people we invited were close enough to us to recogonize who the bride and groom were no matter what color anyone else was wearing.

Post # 70
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@Ugoob: OMG your sister is doing her a huge favor by telling her to pick something else – and not because it’s white! LOL (And is it just me, or does that model have sunburn on her legs???)

Post # 71
Member
5103 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@missrobots: LOL.

Post # 72
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

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@Ugoob: None of their dresses actually were that slutty on the day, but I just found the conversation really inapproriate and hurtful.  (There is more back story with these ‘friends’ which I don’t want to get into).  As to the dress at hand, it is just too casual for a wedding in my opnion.

ETA – missrobots Hilarious!

Post # 73
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
@dgb2010: Your mother looks GREAT…  What a stylish woman!!!

Post # 74
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

For the record, white only became the “in” color for brides when Queen Elizabeth wore white to HER wedding.  And that wasn’t more than about 200 years ago (give or take). 

I, for one, don’t care.  It’s a tradition born from the British monarchy because EVERYONE just HAS to copy the British monarchy.  (Also, the FIRST ENGAGEMENT RING EVER was a SAPPHIRE.  NOT a diamond.)

To each their own, though.  I wouldn’t wear white to anyone else’s wedding, mostly because it’s too easy to get dirty and there are plenty of other colors to choose from. As long as it isn’t bridal, what difference should it make?

Post # 75
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t really care.  As long as it’s not a long lace dress…I’m fine.  =) 

My bridal consultant recommended me I steared away from wedding dresses that looked like what a guest may wear.  In that way, you don’t really have to worry about that problem so much. 

Post # 76
Member
1831 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had one of the Groomsmen bring his girlfriend who I had never met before and she wore the tightest and shortest (Did I mention it was in DECEMBER?) black dress she could find with fish net stockings and 5 inch leather boot heels. I wish she would have worn an all white floor length gown lol

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