(Closed) oops! caught in the act!

posted 10 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ha ha, I don’t know about the protocol, sorry, but that did make me laugh!

Vicars are allowed to have fun too ; )

Post # 4
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Um, if you bang in church and you get caught, you sorta have to listen to the old ladies talk about you!

My advice: don’t do it in public!!!!!

Post # 5
10849 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have to agree with ejs4y8. Could there be any better thing to happen at church to create gossip?! Come on now!!! LOL!

Post # 6
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yikes – I think you just have to wait for the church gossip to die down on its own, or hope someone else gets caught doing something they shouldnt (to take the heat off you two!)

I think you just have to chalk this up to a lesson learned the hard way (the lesson being don’t have public sex at church!lol)

Post # 7
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

lol…just dont confirm or deny the rumors! it will die down eventually

Post # 8
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Seriously? The protocol is to be incredibly contrite and apologetic to anyone who confronts you, and to swear up and down never to do something so disrespectful and foolish again.  And to grow up.

Post # 9
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I hate to be such a prude about this but the whole incident smacks of bad breeding and immaturity. It kind of makes me sick, frankly.

Believe me when I say I am very open minded, but seriously? Having sex on a Sunday with your fiance who is a church official INSIDE THE SANCTUARY? That’s disgusting.

Post # 10
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

hahaha I think it’s funny!  Tongue out

Post # 11
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah, I don’t want to judge, and public places (barring arrest) are all good and fine, but church grounds…kinda disrespectful.  Apologies are in order, as well as a promise not to do it again.  Sets a bad example.

Post # 12
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have nothing against some more public or daring exploits. However, I have to agree with greenleafmountain and texaslawgirl. Having sex in the vestry is not only immature, it is disrespectful to the church itself, the beliefs it signifies, and the believers who attend. This is a sacred place, and the church member was correct to lecture you about the sanctity of it. Perhaps you do not find the church to be sacred (at least, those actions seem to suggest you don’t), but others who go there likely do- and it is very disrespectful to them to laugh in the face of that. I think contrite apologies are definitely in order. Also, maybe a little more self control?

Post # 13
114 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with Texaslawgirl. That is very disrepctful to do it in the church. What are you animals?? get a hotel room, i mean even my 16 year old sister can resist the temptation with her bf and go to a hotel room instead of doing it wherever they please. You and your Fiancee are rude and disrespectful.

Post # 14
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just re-read the original post and saw that you’re marrying a vicar. Another thing to consider here is that these types of exploits in the church have the potential to jeopardize his job or work as a vicar– if it gets out from a more gossipy church member, some of the congregation may be less likely to respect him and more likely to speak negatively of him. They may also tell any supervisors or higher-ups (if he has any), which could really be harmful. 

Post # 15
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

+1 texaslawgirl

Seriously???!!!  Why on earth would you want to do it in church?  On Sunday???  Come on!

Post # 16
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t understand why:

1) as a vicar, he would engage in such behaviour
2) as his Fiance who loves him and cares about him, you would do something like that, that in principle, goes against his values, and could oh so negatively affect his career.

It was definitely not the best decision, from both of you.

That being said, no matter how appaled I am by that, I’m not writing to judge you, but to advise, as you requested.

Do not lie, but don’t bring it up. If confronted, be honest and repentant – and mean it! Learn from that mistake that could cost you two so much, never do it again; and use what you have learned to teach others and be useful.

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