Post # 1
We are not having a bridal party, so I just ordered a bridal bouquet and groom’s bout.
Now I’m wondering if I should have ordered anything for my parents and grandparents?
FI’s family is unable to attend, other than his adult niece and nephew. Should they also have something, as the only representatives of his family in attendance?
Should my sister, who has done the bulk of the on-site planning have something, even though she is not a “bridesmaid” per se? If she has something, should the rest of my siblings have something, too, even though they are not playing any major roles?
Does my aunt who is playing the ceremony music need something and if she does, does her accompanist also need one?
Does the officiant need one?
And what’s modern rule on corsages vs bouts for women?
Quick, tell me who needs what so I can amend my order before it’s too late!
Post # 3
None of these are MANDATORY as per Rules of Etiquette, they are all just niceities.
From Peggy Post’s *Wedding Etiquette*
FLOWERS FOR OTHERS
It is traditional for Fathers, StepFathers, Mothers, and StepMothers to receive Boutonnieres or Corsages for the Wedding Ceremony. In addition, the Bride and Groom may want to give flowers to GrandMothers, GrandFathers, GodMothers, GodFathers, or any other significant people in their lives.
If you want to surprise people with flowers and don’t know what they will be wearing, white or ivory are safe choices. Wrist or purse corsages are also a smart idea for the women on your list, since they may be wearing something that they don’t want pinned or that a shoulder corsage would not complement.
Of the list your Parents would be the ones who’d I add for sure. Grandparents would be a nice sentiment.
Beyond that, it is up to you. Sister as a quasi-bridesmaid would be a nice gesture, as would be your Aunt and the Accompaniest (Aunt alone if she is a Soloist). If anyone is doing a Reading at the Ceremony it would be nice to include them in the list as well.
No need to get anything for the Officiant.
Corsages vs Boutonnieres… almost no difference, although traditionally a Corsage is bigger and more elaborate and also tends to be the “girlie” choice if it has elaborate / exotic flowers (ie Orchids etc)
Hope this helps,
Post # 4
Honestly I found it best to ask each parent and grandparent if they would like to wear one. For us the moms didn’t want to deal with one and one of the grandmothers didn’t want to ruin her dress with the pin or wear one on her wrist. Only one person wanted one. Ask to save yourself money.
Post # 5
We ordered corsages or bouts for officiant (my godfather), readers, parents, and grandparents as well as all the traditional wedding party stuff.
Post # 6
Our parents, grandparents and godparents all got flowers. I was none to thrilled about the godparents gettign them (I didn’t think it was necessary), but Mother-In-Law insisted, so…they all got them. They did seem to like them tho, so I guess it was worth it.
Post # 7
The girl making my flowers charges $10 for bouts. I’m not sure about corsages, but probably a bit more for those. Some of these people I don’t have an easy eay to get in touch with and would have to guess (like my grandparents).
I do feel like if anyone from my side of the family gets the, then FI’s only two relatives in attendance should have something, too. My mom thought it would look a bit odd for all my family to have them, but not his, even though his mother and siblings can’t make it.
I also thought of maybe having something made for his mother and sending it to her as a keepsake, as I know she feels very bad about being unable to make the trip. Or would that be a bit weird?