(Closed) Oops, I think I just had my first foray into bridezilla land…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Unless you specifically told her she could pick out her own dress in either gold or red, I’d ask her to return it. I don’t think its being bridezilla, it seems as if your Maid/Matron of Honor took control and did what she wanted without any instruction from you. Figure out what you want to do for the bridesmaids – i.e. pick a designer, length (if you care) and a color ASAP, and then ask each girl to choose a dress so there isn’t any further confusion.

You could allow her to wear the gold dress and have the bridesmaids wear the red color, but if that wasn’t your intention and not something you want to do, I wouldn’t feel obligated to just because Maid/Matron of Honor took this into her own hands. She should’ve cleared it with you before she bought a dress so its her fault that the dress will need to be return. I would just explain to her that you want all of the girls in the red color, and you understand she doesn’t think its a flattering choice but its only for a few hours and she can wear the gold dress to the rehearsal dinner or bachelorette party. Bridesmaid dress colors often aren’t the first choice of the bridesmaids, that’s sort of the point! 

Post # 4
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

oh hell no, that would never fly with me. You told her the color, and even though you didn’t specify the designer at the time, why the hell would she go directly against what you said? tell her that you’re sorry if there was a miscommunication, but the dresses are to be red. Ask her if there are any dresses at the store that are red, or if the dress she picks comes in red. Say you also had these designers in mind, maybe link her to some of their dresses. I would be out of my mind livid! And I’m having a tough week with the bridesmaids as it is!

Post # 5
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011


Is Maid/Matron of Honor able to return the dress she bought or is she dead set on wearing it? It would probably look fine to have her in gold and other BMs in red since she is the Maid/Matron of Honor. I would just make sure the red dresses are a similar style, same length and material. Maybe some type of gold sash on BMs or red sash on Maid/Matron of Honor to tie it all together.

The other option is to let her know she jumped the gun and she needs tp pick another dress that you approve.

Post # 6
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@IAmLemondrop:  It was very presumptuous and rude of your Maid/Matron of Honor to buy her own dress without consulting you!  Really, who does that?  Was there some sort of miscommunication where she thought your brainstorming was a directive to go find her own dress?  Honestly, I’d ask her to return it and pick out a dress that works for you and the rest of your BMs.  

By The Way, I used Ann Taylor Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses for my girls and I was pretty happy.  For one, you can easily make returns and exchanges if they somehow order the wrong size.  And two, they usually have a few different styles to choose from like strapless, v-neck, etc. if your Bridesmaid or Best Man each want a different style.  Plus, they have really good sales from 30-40% off the retail price, just keep your eye on the website.  


Post # 7
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

uh, you are not a bridezilla. she was totally inappropriate and you should politely ask her to return the dress.

Post # 8
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@IAmLemondrop: I hate wearing red…HATE IT…i dont own ONCE PIECE OF CLOTHING THAT HAS RED ON IT…and my friend asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, you know what i did…i ordered a 70.00 red dress….

I didnt voice my concern about having to wear red….and i surely DID NOT go out and buy a different coloured dress.

Point being….you are not a bridezilla…not even close. Simply ask you BM/MOH to return the dress. I would apologize saying “oh i am so sorry i didnt realize i was unclear..it has to  be red…i dont care what length or style though…”

Hope it works it!

Post # 9
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with the PP’s.  You should ask her to return it.  I know a lot of brides have the Maid/Matron of Honor in a different color so she stands out, so if that’s a look you want then I think it’s fine to do that.  But, it’s your wedding and she should wear the color you ask her to, not make her own decision without consulting you.  Just explain to her that there must have been some misunderstanding and explain your vision to her again.  If she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor she’s obviously a close friend so she should understand. 

Post # 12
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

my sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she will be wearing a different dress and diffrent color but the rest of the bridemaids will be wearing the same dress same color

Post # 13
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it would work fine to have the gold dress, even with red dresses, though I guess that depends on your color scheme. I actually thin kit could look really nice. But I didn’t have my bridesmaids dresses match (just the same color). I guess it might be worse if it’s a completely different style than what you wanted, but I think you could make that work, too.

Do you have a picture of the dress?

I don’t think you’re being bridezilla, though. If it’s important to you that she wear red, talk it over with her.

Post # 15
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That sucks, this is why I didn’t give mine a choice.  This is what you’re wearing this is the color, that’s that.

Post # 16
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I disagree with most of the previous posters, I think the combination of gold and red would be lovely and you can let her keep the gold dress. Ask the other BMs to get red dresses and it’ll look great together.

And imagine when your Maid/Matron of Honor gets married, she’ll look back and realize what an understanding bride and amazing friend you were!

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