Post # 1
Place yourself in the shoes of a mid-20s single (i.e. not in a relationship) just finishing grad school, medical school or law school on the west coast. If you were invited to a wedding in small town midwest, 5 hours and at least one layover by plane away, would you bring a date to said wedding?
I have a lot of Out of Town guests on my list, and as we’re trying to make cuts, we’re wondering whether any of them would realistically ask someone to fly across the country with them to attend a wedding. It’s not a cheap flight – usually more than $300.
What do you think?
Note: These single friends all know each other, because they’re all my college friends. I’m *hoping* the wedding can be a reunion of sorts and that they’ll all make it a priority to come!
Post # 3
I think most people wouldn’t bring a guest but the option would be nice. I guess you could give the option but know that at least 80% of them won’t bring anyone.
Post # 4
i’m giving +1 to all my guests (secretly hoping they’ll decline the guest part), but i think it should be up to them whether to bring someone or not…as long as they have a good time i’ll be happy:)
Post # 5
I doubt that many of your single Out of Town guests would end up bringing a date… although it’s nice to be able to offer up the option of a plus 1, if your budget can accommodate it. We’re giving all of our single guests th option of a +1, but I will be very surprised if more than a couple of them take us up on the offer… unless they get themselves into a serious relationship in the remaining 6 months before our wedding that is.
Post # 6
I think it’s totally OK not to give them +1s if they are single and will know other people at the wedding. If I was tapped for space on the guestlist that would be the first place I’d cut.
Post # 7
Do you really want to be inviting and paying for random strangers at your wedding whom you will never see again? Most adults do know how to enjoy themselves without needing to bring along a friend whom the couple doesn’t know.
Post # 8
@ember – that’s just it — I don’t want to, hahaha… but I also don’t want to be rude, and so many women I’ve talked to have expressed a lot of regret over the guest list cuts they had to make, including +1’s, for their weddings, and I’d rather be the laid back bride than the pushy one who gets an ulcer because of people asking if they can bring a date. You know? 🙂
Post # 9
It’s not rude to invite people without dates. The only time it is rude is if someone is in relationship (serious boyfriend/girlfriend), engaged or married. Also, not everyone has the space or budget to allow for extra random guests.
But if I was single, regardless of age, it wouldn’t even occur to me to ask the bride or groom if I could bring anyone along. A large part of it has to do with the fact that I was raised that it’s rude to do so and many other people have been as well. Obviously that isn’t the case for everyone.
Post # 10
if they know eachother and you need to make cuts, i think it’s fine not to give them plus 1s.
Post # 11
i voted before reading your post. if i was single and knew people there, id come out alone and split the hotel room.
Post # 12
@Ember — I hope my friends are as gracious as you!! 🙂 Every wedding I’ve ever been invited to (within that group and without) has been +1, I think. I’ve never brought anyone though, since I knew I would know so many people there, and my ex was a poophead and didn’t want to do things that involved people being around us. hahaha…