Post # 1
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
Oh, hive.
It is exactly two weeks from our wedding day. We have been chasing RSVPS (and doing about 5473895 other things each day).
Today, we recieved two Out of Town RSVPs…. on which the couples included their un-invited children. Both couples are from quite far away, and they’ve apparently already made airline/hotel reservations for their kids.
I’m not certain of how we could have been more clear on our invite wording that only the parents were invited – these two couples are the only guests who have somehow missed the ‘no kids’ memo.
Furthermore, these couples are not close to us – they’re on the outermost fringes of the guest list. Cousins that I see 5 times a year are relucantly leaving their kids at home, and suddenly people that I’ve never met (and Fiance hasn’t seen in eons) are bringing theirs?
So we’re caught in a rather awkward scenario.
Do we just let it go and cough up the cash for the kids, nevermind offending other guests who couldn’t bring their children? Do we give them the ‘unable to accomodate children, so sorry’ bit and make them re-hash their plans?
How can we minimize the sour side effects for us, as well as for these families?
Thanks in advance, ladies!
Post # 3
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
Ugh, that is such a bad spot to be put in, especially by people who barely made the cut themselves. Perhaps you can offer a babysitter? That way no other guests would know the kids came, just pay for the sitter and some kids’ snacks. Tell the parents that you are very sorry that they didn’t understand that the invitation was directed only to them, but that this is a no-children event and you’ve had to tell others to leave kids at home already but that you understand tickets were already booked so you’re happy to provide a sitter to watch the kids.
On a side note, I hate that. Especially if it has been made clear already that kids aren’t invited.
Post # 4
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
I’m so sorry you’re in this position…ugh.
If I were you, I’d stick to the strict policy. No exceptions, because it’s just not fair.
Keep in mind, there is no way to please everyone in a wedding. Don’t feel like you have to accomodate everyone, especially since you made it clear it was an adult event.
I actually had a mom tell me she’s just keep her 3 year old on her lap during the whole dinner after she knew we are having a no-children reception..are you kidding me? I said, sorry…no.
Post # 5
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
How old are the kids? We ended up including ALL family kids for this reason. I SO feel your frustration. I am annoyed for you…the reason i ask how old they are is because some hotels offer daycare. I have two responses to this dilema. The first is a “sorry but you’re SOL” but that’s just because I’m all stressed right now:P
My second response is a more compassionate: “let’s figure this out together”
I’m really SORRY but I have already given the final head count to everyone. There is quite frankly no seating for your kids, in fact there are no children at all coming. I hope you can understand that we can’t make exceptions for your children as we have already been firm with the rest of the family about no kids. I really appreciate you comming but I don’t want any sna foos at the reception. I am in a bit of a dilema as there are no children coming to the wedding. Would you at all feel comfortable contacting ( insert name of family member who has daycare for their own kids preferably the same age as univited kids) and seeing if they can watch the cousins?
I feel bad though cause they went out of their way to come and spend money and buy tickets. And I dont even know them! You can’t assume anything though about how they are gonna react and you can even start off by saying ” I am so worried about offending you but…”
I am sure someone else has a better response. I’m kind of a “I’m not making this my problem” kinda bride right now. I promise I am under less pressure I am much more compassionate.
Post # 6
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
@Evie19: That makes me feel better! good for you for putting your foot down!